A bad summer

[Joanne7315]

Hi, I didn't have a good Summer. I am in UK and a combination of Huw Edwards being nicked and then right wing riots scared me massively. The tragedy in that being I had just come up on the 6 month point of being "open" as a MAP. I overnight cut off and deleted my membership to MAP groups apart from this one because, simply, I forgot about it. I regret that now with the benefit of hindsight. I have to keep reminding myself that being a MAP is not in itself illegal. I am coming back because there is now no doubt in my mind I am a MAP. In fact prior to my summer 'breakdown' I had built up confidence to openly identify myself as a nepio/pedo. I am really annoyed with myself that I continue on this roller coaster of one minute being "out an proud" and the next scurrying away under a rock. I am not asking for help, but I needed to say what I have just said for my own sanity. OK, let's get over it...I am a MAP!

[Fragment]

Facing the massive external pressure that we face from society it's no shame to find yourself retreating from the battle from time to time.

We are little facing the pressure of almost the entire world in opposition to us and sometimes even if we want to be "open" or "proud" it can be hard to know what that looks like on a day to day basis. Consider your summer to be a break to recover your strength. Sometimes we need it.

[Joanne7315]

Thank you, encouraging

[PorcelainLark]

They say discretion of the better part of valor.

[BLueRibbon]

Sorry to hear this, Joanne.

The UK is a terrible country. It should be deeply ashamed of its appalling history and continuing participation in war crimes along with the US.

I know it's not always easy, but I would advise any MAP to get the hell out of the UK or the US, the worst of the worst.

[stefanos_katsios]

Sorry to hear that.

But at least, we are not alone in this....


Greetings from Cologne
Stefanos Katsios

[Outis]

Sorry to hear that, it's never easy coming to terms with this, especially in the UK where there's still too much hysteria about it.

How have you found coming out to people? Is that just to a friend or family member? It's a hard thing to do, sometimes good things come from it but not always.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel, I've found that it is possible to talk to people about this, sometimes. I've come out to just one person and that person was fine with it. But when I talk to others about the subject in general I do try to stand my ground at least, with some success.

Hopefully you are finding strength and encouragement by coming out and by being here among friends.

[Joanne7315]

Outis, sadly I am not out (or revealed!) to anyone IRL. I would like to but there is no-one I trust enough. Well not true, 2 girl...friends who I would be willing to but I am so uncertain how they would react, especially as 1 has young daughters.