BEING DOXXED RUINED MY LIFE

[SCM123ABC]

I’m attracted to females from 12 to adulthood. I was about 21 years old when I started coming to terms with it even though it was clearer than a window. I was looking into non-illegal content for the years prior but I was too afraid to face the music. I became an alcoholic to hide from it. I was going through four to six 40-ounce bottles of vodka a week, an ounce of weed a week, and I was consuming a Godless amount of LSD, ketamine, and other psychedelics every other weekend. Once I sobered up, the truth came face to face faster than I wanted to see it. Around this time an old friend doxxed me. I wasn't looking at any illegal material, talking to any minors, nor did assault anyone. They just found out the kind of pictures I was looking at and turned on me. my friend kind of had to. He knew for years but once too many people were suspicious he had to join the party. I can't blame him. They hacked my phone and found out. My whole family cut me out, and the entire town I lived in since I was younger found out. It wasn't good. I had a large-sized McDonalds cup thrown at me in a Walmart parking lot. I worked as a custodian so people came to my job and trashed it multiple times until I was eventually fired because of the amount of people who were calling my boss. When I got another job at a store someone came to steal my phone. I had to go to the police department and track them down. My boss was harassed so badly that he had to fire me to save his business because nobody was willing to come to the store. My apartment was broken into multiple times. Everyone who pretended to be my friend kept asking me for my phone number so they could hack my phone. Every time I made a friend it felt like they found out the next week. It got severely bad to the point that I was suicidal every day. The worst part is that the guy who exposed me was a serial rapist. He had a reputation for raping girls around town when he was in high school. The kind of jock that would hand girls funny drinks so he threw me under the bus to make himself look good. A lot of people saw through him but not enough. I guess what bothers me is that he has destroyed lives. I was trying to figure myself out. When a girl came forward about what he did to her he turned everyone against this poor girl. This guy was messing with a thirteen-year-old old when he was twenty-one. The thing about it was that he seemed remorseful about his past and I felt like I couldn't judge because of the kind of person I am. Plus, I hate to admit it but I looked the other way because I liked hanging out with him too much even though a bunch of people told me to stop messing with him. I don't know if I'm just deflecting looking at my mistakes through this mindset but for some reason, I just daydream exposing him to the world every day. I eventually started going to a Mormon church because I was desperate so one day I prayed. My prayers were answered and so I started going to the first church I found. (I knew nothing about the Mormons before attending, I thought it was like any other branch of Christianity.) I started attending because I thought God could cure me. What a load of bull shit. Anyway, it felt so great at first. The people were so kind and inviting. I sobered up and gained some structure in my life, everything was perfect. I felt a sense of community that I truly needed at the time. Eventually, I said the wrong thing to the wrong person so they did some digging and found out. Suddenly I was at square one again. I tried so hard to prove that I was a good person that could never touch a kid but they didn't care. I wasn't kicked out but I could feel the tension in the room. I eventually stopped going because I was afraid of the looks they'd give me. I started going to other churches but they didn't work out. I even found a youth group where we would meet up for Bible study weekly but the problem was paranoia. I couldn't help this anxiety that if anyone found out the kind of person I am they'd want to kill me. This paranoia haunted me. I remember visiting my mother in her home state and she had my grandpa pick me up to meet my dad for the first time. We had drinks and stuff but the paranoia started settling in. I started weeping on the bathroom floor terrified that they poisoned my drink. These people didn't know me. There was no way in the universe they could have known my situation but yeah. When I got back things just kept getting worse over the year. My girlfriend of seven years was starting to face the impact of my situation as well. She's very sensitive and suicidal so I know she could not handle being a part of my situation. Plus that was her hometown. Her whole family was there. I spent every day terrified that she would eventually be persecuted as much as I was. She was the love of my life, my wifey but I had to let her go. I moved and even though I'm in a place where nobody could possibly know from time to time the paranoia crosses my mind. That's why I joined this community. To get the sense of community that I got from the church. I left behind Christianity and got into the occult. I have a PS5, I'm a writer, and a film buff. I smoke weed from time to time and right now in life, I'm trying to figure myself out. I listen to podcasts like Maps IRL, Map The World, and Pedologues because I want to explore the world of who I am rather than being afraid of it. For the most part I’m pro contract now but I listen no-map podcasts to open my mind. Hit me up. Anybody else ever been doxxed?

I'm sorry for that experience man it's kinda the way of those small towns all those people are spoiled and privileged being able to live in their own little small part of the world and never leave they have way too much power in this country its why I recommend becoming an international aid worker I want to go into war zones like Gaza or Ukraine and help people there because those people are really suffering not a spoiled privileged housewife who doesn't know crap about real life those people while might not able to accept you youd know you a good person just stay away from any of the ones with children which I wont going to Gaza and be great. You'll find most people there are actually normal kind people who've gone through stuff not that upper middle class spoiled white women crap.

[SCM123ABC]

I had a rumor following me around at the end of high school but I was never doxxed. Was suicidal and agoraphobic for years and used to drink heavily/smoke (tobacco) heavily to calm myself down.

Stopping drinking made me less anxious, because I was always paranoid I'd give something away when I was drunk. The amount of times I woke up from a black out, fearing my life might be completely over are too many to count.

I'm still pretty directionless and unsatisfied by life. Gone back to drinking recently. Not as much as before I stopped though.

In the end, I kept trying to emotionally prepare for being torn apart by a mob, and eventually it made me feel like there was nothing left keeping me alive. That freaked me out a lot. Took me over a year to begin to stabilize after that.

I'm still pretty emotionally volatile.

I used to spend every day waiting for the mob to come to my front door as well. Every time I would hear police sirens, I would freak out and probably sit on my floor crying. It’s so nice to hear from someone who understands my pain and thank you for what you said because it was very relatable I am so sorry you had to go through that I’m happy to hear that you sobered up

I'm really sorry man just remember these people are spoiled and privileged you've been through worst then them and most of them have no morals and just going with the majority.


EDIT: also think of it like this you know like 12-18 really isn't that bad that puts you in hebephile/ephephille which ephephille at least is normal hebephle not as much but better then someone like me who finds 4-6 year old girls the most attractive it makes me a nepiophile/a literal pedophile ie actual definition you know you really aren't as messed up as you think if I can find solace in the fact that I'm that messed up especially after so much bullying you can do espeically because it isn't as severe.


EDIT 2': hope you come back Batmanthecute hope you safe you haven't been here since a week I hope everything's going well and nothing bad happened

[G@yWad69]

I had a rumor following me around at the end of high school but I was never doxxed. Was suicidal and agoraphobic for years and used to drink heavily/smoke (tobacco) heavily to calm myself down.

Stopping drinking made me less anxious, because I was always paranoid I'd give something away when I was drunk. The amount of times I woke up from a black out, fearing my life might be completely over are too many to count.

I'm still pretty directionless and unsatisfied by life. Gone back to drinking recently. Not as much as before I stopped though.

In the end, I kept trying to emotionally prepare for being torn apart by a mob, and eventually it made me feel like there was nothing left keeping me alive. That freaked me out a lot. Took me over a year to begin to stabilize after that.

I'm still pretty emotionally volatile.

I used to spend every day waiting for the mob to come to my front door as well. Every time I would hear police sirens, I would freak out and probably sit on my floor crying. It’s so nice to hear from someone who understands my pain and thank you for what you said because it was very relatable I am so sorry you had to go through that I’m happy to hear that you sobered up

I'm really sorry man just remember these people are spoiled and privileged you've been through worst then them and most of them have no morals and just going with the majority.


EDIT: also think of it like this you know like 12-18 really isn't that bad that puts you in hebephile/ephephille which ephephille at least is normal hebephle not as much but better then someone like me who finds 4-6 year old girls the most attractive it makes me a nepiophile/a literal pedophile ie actual definition you know you really aren't as messed up as you think if I can find solace in the fact that I'm that messed up especially after so much bullying you can do espeically because it isn't as severe.

Dont say that, we arent messed up for liking who we like, its society that demonizes us and treats us like literal garbage that is the problem. We are just trying to find love, unlike society, who is harrassing and murdering and torturing people over willing handjobs and blowjobs. Besides, in the modern day, there is no “hebephillia/ephebophillia”. It is all the same and considered under the “pedo” umbrella to society and the goverment, which is what unites us. The anti map hatred has gotten so far blown that no one cares if you fuck a 17 month old baby vs a 17 year old girl, to society, and states and countries where the aoc is 18, it is the same damn thing, so no one is getting “treated better” if they are into almost adult aged teenagers. People are getting burned alive (literally set on fucking FIRE) over trying to meet up with FICTIONAL teenage girls. A man in his early 20s was recently jumped at his college campus for trying to hook up with an 18 year old he met online. People are actively fighting to raise the age of consent to 21 or even 25. Just look at the way they talk about Leonardo Decaprio, which has only dated grown ass women in their 20s, but because he is middle aged, people are frothing at the mouth. The craziest ive heard is that Leo is a predator who was grooming a 27 year old woman, and they called him a pedo. Let me repeat, antis think that it is predatory and grooming to date grown ass woman pushing 30 nowadays. If even dating grown ass women pushing 30 is hated and scorned if you dare to be born before her, then how do you think society feels towards people who want teens? In the eyes of biology, it doesnt really matter whos “more fucked up” or “less fucked up”. Humans have destroyed any natural connection we have with biology DECADES ago, freezing test tube eggs and giving birth to 30 year old babies, artficially delying or starting puberty with puberty blockers and hrt. Getting height increasing surgery to he taller. Biology doesnt matter anymore in modern human society. So it doesnt really matter if your into pre pubscents, pubscents, or post pubscents, espcially when you live in a world where a 20 year old can be prepubscent from puberty blockers and a 4 year old can be post pubscent from daddys testosterone cream. Legally and socially, we are the exact same, wether we like babies or 15 year olds. No one is going “oh but 17 and 21 are a small age gap and she is almost an adult” they are going “evil predator! Burn the witch”. Ive even seen teenagers be reffered to as “little girls” or “little boys”. If society and the law doesnt make a difference between prepubscents, pubscents, and postpubscents(true pedophillia vs “pedophillia”). Then why should you? Because your a stickler for whatever language the doctors use? The same doctors funded by the goverment, who want to see you tortured or dead? Why should we care about who is a “real” pedo or a “pedo”? What difference does it make to our cause? What difference does it make to society or the law? The answer is none, theres zero differnce. Thats why I dont care id someone into preteen or teenagers or even young adults calls themsleves a pedophile. Yes prepubscents are different biologically from pubsecents and postpubscents. But it is not “biology” that is opressing us, it is the law and society at large. All MAPs are the same and the less we try to split ourselves up based on silly differences like pubic hair vs hairless or budding breasts vs flat chested the more we can work together

[notetaker]

EDIT: also think of it like this you know like 12-18 really isn't that bad that puts you in hebephile/ephephille which ephephille at least is normal hebephle not as much but better then someone like me who finds 4-6 year old girls the most attractive it makes me a nepiophile/a literal pedophile ie actual definition you know you really aren't as messed up as you think if I can find solace in the fact that I'm that messed up especially after so much bullying you can do espeically because it isn't as severe.

I think you've read too much into what society preaches. When you let your enemy direct your thoughts and actions well you've already lost that battle. I think you should look at all this from a different perspective. I recommend you take a look at the book "Pedophilia Unbound: Theory, Research, Practice" by Dr. Frits Bernard.

"Sometimes, a single, unpleasant experience with someone who belongs to a particular race, belief
system, or sexual group can be enough to sustain a general aversion. Prejudices are unconsciously transferred
over to other persons – they spread like wildfire. Soon discrimination, and even aggression, is lurking around
every corner. The road to persecution is open.
Because the possession of prejudices is a universally human phenomenon, the question presents itself:
How can one undertake something which goes against one's own prejudices? This happens, in short, when one
breaks through one's own mental isolation, and is prepared to listen to more than just one side and accept as
givens facts from different sources. One should also make up one's own mind, in the course of which one will
seek out contact with those about whom one does not even have a favorable opinion. And so, it never ceases to
amaze me that so few psychiatrists and sex researchers make the effort to attend meetings of pedophile
organizations, in order to finally be able to perform the necessary "fieldwork." Far too often, verdicts are
rendered from the comfort of one's armchair."