Why some men become pedos

[mrlolicon93]

This is a follow up to this thread.

https://forum.map-union.org/viewtopic.php?t=3719

I think some men end up becoming maps/pedophiles due to trauma from bullying they experienced as a child especially if they were virgin shamed while their classmates were having sex and they weren't and when they become adults they wish they could go back and experience what they never had and missed out on.

I know this is definitely the case for me and its why i am extremely insecure about it and get very jealous of others who had that experience definitely not the only reason but a huge contributing factor that contributed to it.

Can anyone relate?

[Learning to undeny]

How old were you when all your classmates were having sex? When I was a teen, my friends were not having sex as far as I know. (Me neither, and I relate to your experience, except that I don't think it contributed to being a MAP, but who knows...) Maybe it depends on the culture. The people I've met do not care if you have sex or not.

[mrlolicon93]

How old were you when all your classmates were having sex?

Around 14.

[Learning to undeny]

How old were you when all your classmates were having sex?

Around 14.

Teenagers sometimes act in ways that don't make sense. Like virgin shaming. Sorry to hear that.

[Harlan]

I think some men end up becoming maps/pedophiles due to trauma from bullying they experienced as a child especially if they were virgin shamed while their classmates were having sex and they weren't and when they become adults they wish they could go back and experience what they never had and missed out on.

I know this is definitely the case for me and its why i am extremely insecure about it and get very jealous of others who had that experience definitely not the only reason but a huge contributing factor that contributed to it.

Can anyone relate?

Psychiatrists really want to believe that negative experiences can provoke "non-normative" attractions, because it's a very simple, comfortable and safe way to explain everything. Negative experiences may cause some mental disorders, causing anxiety for example, but IMHO it cannot activate "weird" attractions. If such a mechanism existed, it could be reversed, but as we know, no one has succeeded in turning homosexuals into straight people.

When I was 4-5 years old, I felt erotic desires that I couldn't express. One day, my desire coincided with that of another boy at the kindergarten we attended together. We went into seclusion, took off our clothes and started petting.

Having heard this story, a psychotherapist and psychiatrist will immediately think that this experience made me MAP, but I remember everything perfectly well and know perfectly well that it was inside me from the very beginning and this experience is not the cause of my attraction, but a consequence of my own sexuality.

[Scorchingwilde]

I agree with Harlan on this - I'm not a pedophile but I might be a hebephile, and I remember feeling a lot of anxiety around not having sex when I was a teen, feeling like if I didn't have it soon then I would never have it. On some level I knew my attractions towards my peers wasn't going to age up with me and I felt like I would be missing out forever if I couldn't have a relationship when I was still underage myself. I wasn't bullied or shamed for being a virgin either.

[Bookshelf]

I don't want to doubt your experience, but what makes you so sure that is the reason you became a MAP, and not just a separate memorable set of events? What makes you so certain that if you had sex as a teen, you wouldn't still want to "go back" and relive those experiences?

It's possible that your longing for that experience is because you're a MAP, and you're viewing it as a missed chance to legally have sex with your AoA. A mild mix up of cause and effect. Most adults that didn't have sex as teens generally don't care, because if they're attracted to adults, they're probably having sex now.

[John_Doe]

I've never really understood the distinction that people make, both within and outside of the MAP community, between teenagers and legal adults or why there seems to be this general expectation that people are going to grow out of their current age preference (e.g. teenage boys who aren't attracted to women in their 60s/are attracted to other teenagers are expected to one day stop having a visceral sexual response to/romantic feelings for girls, or boys, in their current age group as they get older. I can imagine a theoretically possible world where that happened but I don't understand why you would expect that practically. I was attracted to prepubescent girls when I was in the second grade at least and I wouldn't say that my attraction to them now is at 0, but I don't remember preferring them either). As a teenager I was attracted to girls my own age and to women in their 30s (and some in their 40s, I'm not sure how strong or frequent my attraction to women in their 40s was though) and I don't remember making a distinction one way or the other.

My super-ideal might be 12-15 but that's unnecessarily young, it would feel misleading to say that I preferred that age group (I rarely ever think about people from that group and I'd be happy if 40-year-olds dating 20-year-olds was de-stigmatized). It would also feel misleading to say that I preferred women under 25, I have never really paid attention to age differences between teens, 20-something-year olds and 30-something-year olds; my attraction to average women doesn't begin to really decline until after 40 (which isn't to say that I'm not relatively attracted to many 40-something-year olds or even strongly to some), but I'd be a little less squeamish about saying that was my super-ideal although I don't want to sound crude or to come off as though I'm putting anyone down because of their age. I'm probably not making sense and this is so awkward I should probably skip whatever I'm trying to say but I think my age preferences mostly match up with female fertility rates (according to most of what I've found online, at 17-20 a woman has an 86% chance of successfully conceiving in one year, at 25 it's 78%, at 30 it's 65%, from 35-39 it's 52%, at 40 it's 44%, at 41 it's 40% and at 45; I'm assuming this is for pre-menopausal women specifically, it's 5% or less. Within the first two years after menarche; which is delayed if it hasn't occurred by 15, many of a girl's cycles will be anovulatory and there are certain risks with pregnancy but I don't think there's an issue with egg quality. Apparently you're considered clinically infertile if you can't get pregnant/impregnate someone within one year. I'd be interested in the stats on men but I couldn't find anything comparable in terms of how many 50-year-old men will successfully impregnate a partner within one year once you account for their partner's age, but from memory men over I think 50 or 55 are something like 12 times more likely to require two years to impregnate a partner; once you account for her age, and the risks for gestational diabetes, down syndrome and low birth weight are between 13-16% at that age, from memory). I might sound like a pronatalist with the fertility obsession but I find it interesting because even though I think the value of sex can be reduced to how it ultimately makes people feel, I don't think you can talk about the actual nature of sex without linking it to reproduction (in a manner of speaking, I think your body wants to make babies with the people you're attracted to, that's what sex is 'for' in evolutionary and even medical terms, I think nature uses sexual desire to manipulate us into reproducing. I'm not saying that's a literal conscious intention but we normally have no problem saying that the heart is 'for' pumping blood that provides the rest of the body with oxygen and nutrients or that one of the purposes of your kidneys is to filter waste or regulate blood pressure. Women ovulate/have a menstrual cycle to prepare for pregnancy, sperm is 'for' fertilizing eggs; men's bodies are adapted to impregnate honeys, etc.) so I wonder how much of human sexual attraction, for average people, is tied to fertility (male sperm quality apparently peaks at 30 and begins to decline at 35 so 'logically' I might expect a man in his early 30s to be the ideal but I could easily see average women preferring men in their early 20s). You can't draw a perfectly clear line between living organisms and inorganic matter but an indisputable characteristic of what what we consider to be living organisms is a tendency to reproduction.

I've never really regretted not having sex as a teen per se. Erectile dysfunction wasn't really an issue before 35. I had serious body image problems before 28, including some things I eliminated or could have probably eliminated (with current knowledge), but I think things started to go really downhill after 28 (not necessarily or entirely for age-related reasons). In terms of the age of my partner though, again, I don't really prefer teens over women in their 30s.

I can't believe how long it took me to write out this hot mess.

@Harlan,

I don't really buy the idea of trauma leading to unconventional sexual preferences either (or at least not the theories/assumptions that I have in mind, I'm not saying that childhood trauma couldn't somehow indirectly influence future sexual preferences).

[DANAT4T]

Reduxx women love young boys.

[mrlolicon93]

It's possible that your longing for that experience is because you're a MAP, and you're viewing it as a missed chance to legally have sex with your AoA. A mild mix up of cause and effect. Most adults that didn't have sex as teens generally don't care, because if they're attracted to adults, they're probably having sex now.

I suppose yeah you have a point there.