The Language of Hate and Oppression (Prefaced)
The following is a paper I wrote sometime ago and was presented as a topic on BL Talk. Primarily it is about changing the narrative. That is, how we describe ourselves and how we are described by others. Words are not to be underestimated. They have great power and constitute the basis of the formulation of ideas and concepts. However, changing the narrative goes beyond the substitution of words and phrases. It is also one of behavior. A real test of any philosophy is in observed behavior. Do the adherents practice and live according to what they expound? Do the words have actual substance?
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I have belonged to a number of boards over the years. Particularly memorable was BL.net twenty plus years ago. So, for some time, I have seen what BLs write and what they say about us. What they say about themselves and, of course, other things as well.
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In the United States, with the exception of the more collegiate publications, the public notices, writings and such are pitched at the 7th grade level. Many of those who post and respond on the boards are therefore writing and communicating at that level.
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Let’s be clear, there is a difference between being stupid and being ignorant. Stupid, dumb, slow and the terms that describe a lessened mental capacity basically mean that the individual is incapable of higher, or perhaps even moderate cognition. This doesn’t really apply to the majority of people. Most people are generally not what one might describe as stupid. Short-sighted yes. Subject to societal dogma, yes. Most people will listen to you all the way up to the point at which it conflicts with what they think they already know or is in opposition to what is considered common knowledge.
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A wedge is what is needed. A clear demonstration that a hard held belief is indeed false. That might be surprising and lead to further questions. If that is untrue what else might be? Is that going to be easy? No. But to dispel misconceptions in words and actions is the beginnings of change.
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Ignorance is “lacking knowledge or awareness.” Amazingly enough, that condition can also be applied to the concept of “innocent, or innocence” Something parents seem to want to maintain in their children long past the point of practicality. The ingenuous character of a child can be cute and refreshing. That only goes so far. There is a point, well before majority, that such a condition becomes an impediment.
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In comparison to the general field of higher education, intellectual pursuit and awareness, a 7th grader is lacking in the knowledge and awareness of many things. Unscrupulous persons are looking for just such fledgling adults.
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People generally use words and phrases that they are familiar with. They use language learned by being a part of society and communicating with others. This is known as “common” or colloquial usage. They use those same words to describe things, in general, that they are familiar with. They also use these terms to describe things that they are unfamiliar with. For example, if we were to travel back in time a few thousand years or so with modern technology, it might be said that our airplanes and such were “flying carpets”, “dragons” and etc. This is not stupidity but it is an example of the state of ignorance. The actuality is misconceived.
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Common usage is so for the majority of people who post on these boards, and indeed, inhabit society in general. The words, terms and phrases they use are indicative of this. For subjects outside the “norm” of social conversation, many of these words not only fail to describe the subject accurately, but may also attach grievous harm to it. Words, terms and phrases each have negative, neutral or positive emotional context. In any instance of trying to “sell” a position or idea, the use of words that have a negative connotation sell nothing but the opposite of what was intended.
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I have seen BLs use, and refer to themselves, in the words they’ve used and heard in social exchanges. And, which are conceptually incorrect to the topic. Words and phrases are accompanied by mental images. When you hear a certain word it produces an image. What image is a product of the understanding of the word and the value of it’s emotional context. Words that produce negative images, of and for us, are not beneficial for us collectively and tends to feed the public mania. With this in mind, our task is to take those type of words and find an alternative, in either positive or neutral context. A certain amount of circumlocution would seem to be in order here.
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Molest or molestation is one that I have seen used to describe a sexual encounter. One example of this is an individual who stated that as a boy he was molested and he loved it. For one thing, how can it be molestation if you liked it? If you were willing and had a good time that is only molestation in a legal sense. This would be a prime example of someone describing something they really don’t have the vocabulary for. It is incorrect in definition and gives a wrong impression as to what actually occurred.
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Pedophile is a word that is so loaded with negative connotations that it drips venom. The images it brings to the minds of the non BL public is extremely prejudicial to achieving any productive dialog. The minute a such a word is used to refer to an individual or a specific group any chance of an impartial discussion is gone.
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Grooming is another negative description of a BL activity. When a man goes in search of female companionship , when he buys her dinner and gifts it is called courting. This is a natural behavior which generally follows a set routine with variations accounting for individuality. Nevertheless the application of the courting process is similar down the line.
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When a BL legitimately engages in the same behavior, following the usual process, it is called predation and grooming.
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Offense and offender is another example in which a negative connotation is applied incorrectly. To start with, legitimate, loving intimacy between two human beings is anything but an offense. Human beings are an inherently sexual species that requires the emotional and physical proximity of another person. It is a necessity in maintaining physical and emotional health.
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Crime or criminal activity is another term for a BL activity. While it is true in a strictly legal sense it is far from the ideals and intentions of BLs in general. However, there are some Non-C proponents who have stated that one of their goals is to keep the brethren from engaging in “criminal activity.” That is a horrible and disastrous, accusatory phrase to use in reference to the execution of an honest and natural need. This does little to help. It infers that the legal definition and all the misconceived notions surrounding it are correct. It validates the general belief. “See? Even their own people admit it is wrong.”
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These are but a few examples of the narrative we need to change. It is necessary to identify these words and phrases and counter them with words and phrases that are either neutral or positive in emotional context. Additionally, how a person describes themselves is an integral component of self esteem. Someone who is not disposed to engage in mischief but is told, and thinks, he is a predator who engages in criminal activity, grooming young boys to commit an offense is not likely to have a high opinion of himself or his natural orientation,
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That this situation prevails at all is a travesty of the highest order. It can rightly be defined as a crime against humanity. To change the words that we use to describe ourselves as well as the words the public uses to refer to us will go a long way towards a better understanding. Greater possibilities are born of a better understanding.+
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The following statements are some that were made by our detractors and plainly demonstrate the mindset. If It seems at times that I am angry with the public in general it is because I am. Very. And if you aren’t angry too, you should be.
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The following are excerpts from "A Boylover's Perspective" by DW Nichols, published in the Midwest Gay Academic Journal in 1978.
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The aspersions cast by society do not end with the above. They continue with their misconceived attacks ad nauseam.
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For example:
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“Boy lovers are only after sex”,
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“When small gifts are offered to a youngster they are bestowed only as an inducement, never from feelings of love or affection.”
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“...they are an immoral cancer in our midst.”
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The kids are portrayed as “naive” and “vulnerable” “innocents” who are physically or psychologically forced to comply with the BL’s unnatural desires.
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If nothing else this is at least figurative a call to arms.
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Terms used for a boylover:
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Child molester
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Child predator
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Child debaucher
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A sodomite and a menace
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What is a BLs character:
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Wretched, vile. Obscene, corrupt
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degenerate, depraved
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What does a BL do:
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lures, solicits, entices
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coerces, exploits, assaults
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Who does he assault:
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pure, tender, innocent child victims
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Legal terms to describe a BL:
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Sexual misconduct
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contributing to sexual delinquency
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gross indecency
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crimes against nature
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The list goes on. They have no motivation to reform their thinking. The onus is on us.