Should I come out?

[harrydubois666]

The fact that I'm a MAP gives me a lot of mental distress, and lately I've been having horrible anxiety because no one in my family knows and I hate that I have to hide it from them. I didn't care that much in the past but a few weeks ago I suddenly became self-aware about this, maybe I've been repressing it and now I feel like I'm in a nightmare.

I thought about coming out to my therapist because she's known me for more than 2 years and we have a good relationship. I go to therapy because of autism, but this huge, dark secret I have is killing me inside and I don't know what to do, nor how will she react.

[BLueRibbon]

I told a couple of people IRL. One is totally cool with non-contact MAPness, the other pretends to be supportive but ultimately is not.

With a therapist, be careful. If they feel you're a threat, they might also think they're obligated to report you.

[harrydubois666]

I told a couple of people IRL. One is totally cool with non-contact MAPness, the other pretends to be supportive but ultimately is not.

With a therapist, be careful. If they feel you're a threat, they might also think they're obligated to report you.

I don't think she has any reason to think I'm a threat? Also I'm from Europe so I think things work differently than in the US

[FairBlueLove]

I truly understand the mental burden you're carrying. For me, paradoxically, things became more complex when I discovered online MAP communities. While these spaces offer a sense of belonging and understanding, they can also amplify our internal struggles by giving them constant focus. The key is to maintain perspective; life is vast and multifaceted, and while our sexual identity is an important part of who we are, it doesn't define our entire existence.

A couple of years ago, I came close to telling my mother about being a MAP but ultimately decided against it for several reasons. She could feel uncomfortable or distressed, as she's influenced by societal norms and narratives. Also, my relief from disclosure wouldn't outweigh her potential discomfort. And, after all, she might not even be interested in the details of my sexuality.

Despite these considerations, I still feel compelled to come out, believing it's crucial for others to understand that MAPs are capable of leading ordinary lives and contributing positively to society. Currently, I'm employing a strategy of subtle hints rather than direct revelation. For instance, whenever the opportunity arises, I challenge conventional views on adult-minor relationships by reminding family members and close friends that such dynamics were once considered acceptable in society (especially referring to hebephilia, but not only). This way, I hope to create an environment where my family becomes aware without me having to explicitly state it.

Remember, you're not alone in this. Lots of us are figuring this out as we go along. Be easy on yourself while you navigate what feels right for you.