Masochism

[Orry]

I'm a coward
Put your knife in me

I don't know you, I can't use you
I don't know you, I can't use you
I don't know you, I can't use you
I don't know you, I can't use you

Put your knife in me, put your knife in me
Put your knife in me, put your knife in me
Put your knife in me, put your knife in me

I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
I love you, I'm worthless

Put your knife in me and walk away
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
Walk away, walk away
I love you, I love you
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
I love you, I'm worthless
I love you, I'm worthless
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
I'm worthless, I'm worthless
Walk away, walk away

[DANAT4T]

I would love to ask a member what is it like to have a micropenis but unfortunately they are no longer a user here.

[JGHeaven]

I do have masochist tendencies. I don't self harm but I have in the past derived pleasure from pain, in the heat of the moment.

[MAPGL917]

Do you feel that sadistic partners are more likely to be abusive? Or is it more a communication issue, with masochists being less inclined to express or form solid boundaries, given their preference to play out a more vulnerable/submissive role? Or is it a roughly even combination of these variables?

I feel like most people have an aggressive drive, and if they know a person is a masochist, they'll take advantage of it as an outlet for their aggression.

Yes, some sadists can be sociopaths, and that can be a dangerous combination, but I am not sure how common that is. I think of dom-sub activities as really very playful, and imagine (hopefully) that all partners (especially doms) are empathetic to each other. But like said, it can be a broad spectrum.

I don't think a person has to be sociopathic to cross lines.

So if a masochist is thinking about building a trusting relationship with someone, but they're not sure how extreme personality/sexual preferences would affect trust and safety, then maybe that masochist would be more comfortable finding someone who is rather mildly dominant, but is still willing to explore the fantasies of the sub in a safe way. I think it would be a lot more difficult if the sub wants to be blindly led and blindly trust the leadership of a dom. Maybe that is the fantasy that can play out, but ideally both people would need to take of the 'hats' of their respective 'roles' to really communicate realistically (and safely) exploring their desires and boundaries around that.

That, and of course taking things slow. It would probably be best not to start out with the most extreme fantasies. Take time to build trust, and properly communicate about what works and what does not. Obviously it could get a lot more complicated depending on the nature of the relationship and someone's desires. For instance if a masochist wishes to be completely financially dependent on a dom, then I could see that creating a situation where it would be really hard to jump ship if things start going south. Maybe planning (and backup plans) could help alleviate things like that, which could potentially arise in especially vulnerable situations.

I think the issue is that I'd rather not be a masochist, even though being hurt can be a turn on. I hate that I feel that way.

I wouldn't classify myself as a sadist by any means, by one of my last gfs introduced me to CnC, and I was hooked. I love the power, control, and primal feeling of it. However, even as time went on, I had to slowly get comfortable doing more/being rougher. She kept telling me to get rougher, choke harder, slap her, push her around etc... but my mind was always very sensitive to any sign I was going too far... Many times to her disappointment we'd be full swing, going crazy, and something would trigger in my mind and I'd stop, and ask "was that too hard?", or "oh shit, I didn't mean to push you against the wall that hard, are you alright?" And she's just "uughhh yes, you're killing the vibe, I'm fine, keep going".

I never did find her limit, thankfully, because that meant I never once went further than her comfort (although, I do wonder if there was actually a limit) but I never got so caught up in it I failed to think of her comfort. I just went a little further and further each time. Eventually, I feel like I hit a point I couldn't pass, and it came down to her being a bigger masochist than I was a sadist. Granted, she was my first, and only, person I ever tried it with, and I doubt it was the same the other way around.

I think it's equally important to think of the comfort of the one playing the sadist in these roles. She was the one to bring me into it, and turned a mild fantasy into a full kink. But it was almost ruined, when after the first time, letting loose, getting into it, and going wild for a couple hours, and allowing myself to enjoy it, being some of the best I've had to this date, and allowing myself to feel ok playing a "rapist", afterwards I, ignorantly, asked her what got her into it, and she looked me dead in the eye and told me she's been raped before, and it helped deal with it mentally. Idk why, my stomach twisted so hard, and I went from cloud nine to feeling disgusted with myself instantly.

I guess what my rambling is trying to say is, it can go the other way too, and someone is much more of a masochist, and it pushes the one playing the dominant role to the brink of their comfort zone.

[MAPGL917]

I do have masochist tendencies. I don't self harm but I have in the past derived pleasure from pain, in the heat of the moment.

Same, has to be in the heat of the moment, and I don't have much tolerance. It will never be foreplay for me, and I'll never handle much. But having my back clawed or my shoulder bitten close to climax can tip me over the edge.

[JGHeaven]

I do have masochist tendencies. I don't self harm but I have in the past derived pleasure from pain, in the heat of the moment.

Same, has to be in the heat of the moment, and I don't have much tolerance. It will never be foreplay for me, and I'll never handle much. But having my back clawed or my shoulder bitten close to climax can tip me over the edge.

Yes and for me, spanking can be run. I think I have a high pain tolerance because I've never hit a limit I felt no enjoyment from.
I don't know if I'm a full masochist since I've never sought pain out, it is just something I have enjoyed.

[MAPGL917]

I do have masochist tendencies. I don't self harm but I have in the past derived pleasure from pain, in the heat of the moment.

Same, has to be in the heat of the moment, and I don't have much tolerance. It will never be foreplay for me, and I'll never handle much. But having my back clawed or my shoulder bitten close to climax can tip me over the edge.

Yes and for me, spanking can be run. I think I have a high pain tolerance because I've never hit a limit I felt no enjoyment from.
I don't know if I'm a full masochist since I've never sought pain out, it is just something I have enjoyed.

As a guy, I love spanking (giving, not receiving. Although, haven't tried receiving, so who knows) A good, well placed spank when you're getting the deep strokes in, and the vagina clenches down for a few seconds. Bliss. And I've had one partner I went heavy into CnC with. I don't think it's right to say I'm a full blown masochist because we had to take baby steps forward each time with how far we'd go, and it usually hit the cap with me saying "oh shit, was that too much, are you ok? You sure? Ok..." Which would kill the built up momentum lol. She definitely had to be a masochist, because it was never too much.

[JGHeaven]

Yes and for me, spanking can be run. I think I have a high pain tolerance because I've never hit a limit I felt no enjoyment from.
I don't know if I'm a full masochist since I've never sought pain out, it is just something I have enjoyed.

As a guy, I love spanking (giving, not receiving. Although, haven't tried receiving, so who knows) A good, well placed spank when you're getting the deep strokes in, and the vagina clenches down for a few seconds. Bliss. And I've had one partner I went heavy into CnC with. I don't think it's right to say I'm a full blown masochist because we had to take baby steps forward each time with how far we'd go, and it usually hit the cap with me saying "oh shit, was that too much, are you ok? You sure? Ok..." Which would kill the built up momentum lol. She definitely had to be a masochist, because it was never too much.

That does sound like bliss. I've enjoyed spanking a few times but when it's during sex it can be whole next level and trigger orgasms.
I have often wondered why spanking and pain can be orgasmic, is it because as women we feel pain differently as a result of how we experience pain through childbirth. I haven't been in situations of extreme punishment but the idea of that is highly erotic. But even small amounts of pain can be very stimulating and when it's in a CnC setting, adding the emotional fear factor, it can be incredible.