Struggling with my necrophilia

[BLueRibbon]

I honestly don't care if people have sex with dead people.

It's not like it's going to hurt them. Well, not the dead people at least.

Relevant, kind of: https://www.brianribbon.com/short-takes ... vid-sconce

[John_Doe]

I honestly don't care if people have sex with dead people.

It's not like it's going to hurt them. Well, not the dead people at least.

Relevant, kind of: https://www.brianribbon.com/short-takes ... vid-sconce

One thing I've never really understood is the selective hedonism that people sometimes engage in (i.e. 'what's the problem, it's not as though it hurts anyone,' and it's understood that 'harm' is emotional distress and not physical injury) where they take it as obviously reasonable in one scenario but don't consistently apply it to all ethical issues.

To repeat myself, harm to the deceased is not my issue. A victimless act can still have troubling implications about the psychology of the people who engage in it. There's no inconsistency in my saying that a preference for dead bodies as dead bodies is morally problematic while maintaining that only felt emotional distress is intrinsically harmful, that injustice requires harm (or at least a reduction in happiness paired with malintent or a negligent disregard for someone's emotional well-being) and happiness/suffering are all that moral agents should ultimately be concerned with. Imagine that someone invents a video game where the object is to murder as many pedophiles as is possible. No actual pedophile is murdered during this fantasy simulation and there's no evidence that I'm aware of linking violent video games with real-world violence statistically. Yet, we would likely agree that there is something troubling about the fact that people enjoy engaging in this kind of fantasy because it implies a disregard for the welfare of child-attracted adults, I can easily see it being the case that the promotion of this video game could indoctrinate impressionable minds into hatred against pedophiles even if, again, that never translates into real-world violence and that ultimately poses a challenge to the 'MAP liberation' movement.

I think it's a mistake to reduce this to 'disgust' and, besides being unavoidable in many scenarios, I don't think the emotional response of loved ones is necessarily unreasonable (as in, their involuntary emotional reaction is not necessarily the result of a misguided belief or value). That said, I wouldn't necessarily feel compelled to bring something like this to public attention knowing how much trauma it would cause people.

This might sound hypocritical coming from an antinatalist but I don't think it's wise to associate a 'MAP liberation' movement with a sub-culture or mindset that celebrates death as opposed to children's happiness but that's relative to my value system. It's not just that I think it's politically unwise in terms of 'softening' the perception of minor-attraction when felt by adults, I'm willing to promote things that hurt any given cause I support (in terms of swaying hearts and minds) if I believe that they're consistently implied by my ideals, it seems at odds with countering the stereotype that pedophiles don't care about children's welfare.

For the record, the only thing that I'm really taking a firm stance on is a preference for dead bodies as dead bodies. It's hard for me to imagine someone 'sexualizing' the corpse of someone whose happiness they value; whom they would prefer to live (under ideal enough conditions at least), it's upsetting to me largely because I'm skeptical and I think that's contrary to normal human psychology, but I'm open to that possibility.

[CantChainTheSpirit]

Really sorry to hear that you're going through this, it must be really hard for you.
I hope you can find others who share this attraction and you're able to support each other. All I can say is that it doesn't make you a bad person in any way, none of us can help our sexualities and what drives our chemistry. Just hold on to the fact that you're a good person and deserve happiness so try to find someone who can love and treat you well for who you are.

[John_Doe]

Really sorry to hear that you're going through this, it must be really hard for you.
I hope you can find others who share this attraction and you're able to support each other. All I can say is that it doesn't make you a bad person in any way, none of us can help our sexualities and what drives our chemistry. Just hold on to the fact that you're a good person and deserve happiness so try to find someone who can love and treat you well for who you are.

If you want him to experience happiness then you want him to live; something that he does not necessarily want for others (or at least that would conflict with a fundamental preference for dead bodies). If, for example, you were a gay 'necrophiliac' (i.e. someone who prefers dead bodies as dead bodies) who found him attractive (or would find his corpse attractive) you would prefer that he die which conflicts with wanting him to experience happiness in general or specifically to have the same pleasurable sexual experiences that you want for yourself. Looking back at the first page I see that he said that he wishes he was normal but my point, even if I was callously ignoring the human element of this (by focusing on the moral implications of necrophilia and not what he's struggling with on a personal level etc. etc.) is that not every deviant sexuality should be celebrated or normalized. Being honest about that doesn't necessarily imply malice to the people with those sexual interests.

If his interest in dead bodies is exclusive then he doesn't want someone (a romantic partner) who will love him and treat him well, but maybe you meant in terms of a platonic relationship or support.

snapped_scapula,

You seem to not realise that sexual activity with a child can absolutely (and usually is) be harmful, whether they “enjoy” (have an involuntary physical reaction) it or not.

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with a desire to have mutually pleasurable sex with a child. The possibility of that is logically coherent, even if you believe that it's unrealistic (this is a rushed response). Death necessarily precludes the possibility, for the deceased, of the same pleasurable sexual experiences that you want for yourself. Why would you be more deserving of happiness than anyone else? Happiness is happiness.

It is arguably more disrespectful to engage in sex with someone who may say yes but doesn’t have the capacity to actually consent/know what they’re agreeing to, than to have sex with a corpse, who won’t be impacted by anything you do

.

Child-adult sex can possibly be a source of pleasure for children. At the very least, a preference for child partners doesn't necessarily involve devaluing children's happiness. The fulfillment of your sexual desires would necessarily require someone's death. I again acknowledge that the dead are not harmed by whatever is done to them, but we should also want people to know happiness. Still, this is less of an 'injustice' for me as it is a mindset that I have to be troubled by relative to my ideals (I think of injustice as harm/a reduction in happiness caused by not valuing the happiness of others or wanting them to be free from emotional distress, but harmless fantasies and acts can still be immoral in implying that one does not value the happiness of others).

And yeah I do have a preference for the dead. I love them. They are beautiful to me, and quiet, and don’t leave, nor do they lie nor do they argue and yell. I may have sadistic pleasures, but most of my fantasies are romantic and soft. Also, you can’t help your fantasies.

Emotional responses are involuntary but our conscious beliefs and values play a big role in them (changing one's perspective can influence how one responds to things emotionally). I won't question that this is an interest you haven't chosen but that doesn't actually change my position because if it's not a moral failing, it's still not ideal.

You claim to not be judgemental, but that’s exactly what you’re doing.

I have never claimed to not be 'judgmental.' That's largely the point of my argument, that we should be more judgmental. The problem is with discrimination and hate. I don't think that everything goes, I'm not a relativist.

I came here to vent and chat with other paraphiles, not debate, but I see that’s not what happens around here.

I was just adding my two cents on the topic of necrophilia. I admit, this might not have been the best thread to do so.