Bookshelf wrote: Thu May 28, 2026 5:33 pm
If you've ever seen a discussion on MAPs in public, you'll always see the same thing. Something along the lines of, "Pedophiles that don't offend aren't a problem
as long as they get help."
It's repeated enough that people somehow believe that help exists. In reality however, it's just something people say so that when they tell you to kill yourself, they don't feel so bad — because after all, if you just
get help, you wouldn't be such a bad guy! Let's assume you're trying to live a virtuous life, and seek help. What kind of help is available?
Pretend for a moment that you're a man living in the UK, and one day you realize that you're thinking of children in icky ways. Desperate to not act out, you head online and you search for help. One of the first links you might come across is an organization called
StopSO UK. Great! They'll help you! You just have to.. wait hold on..
There are practically no NHS services available for people who have, or might, commit sexual offences. Access to professional support and help is limited and most therapists don’t want to work with these clients.
Ah...
This'll be tricky.
Don't worry though. StopSO UK recognize that there are no officially supported paths to help, so they offer their own help. Just contact them and they'll...
As StopSO is unfunded, we are unable to offer a free service. There will be a charge for therapy per session.
Ah... again. You'll get charged about £50-100 per session. So assuming your thoughts are lifelong, you'll probably be out a few thousand before you're in a "stable" spot. I'm sure it's worth it though. Let's look at some of the resources they have so we can get a clear view of their values, so we can get an idea of what you can expect to get in therapy. I'm sure it's useful— aaaand it's just anti-porn.
Covid-19 Lockdown, Internet Pornography, and the Risk of Sexual Offending
In short, you're free to read the site, but their resources go into talking about how porn can lead to you viewing CSAM. So if you're struggling with thoughts about children.. don't watch.. adult porn? I guess?
Right, not a great resource. What else is there for the humble MAP? Fortunately on your search for help, you might come across
Stop It Now. This site actually has a helpline and an online chat (although only available a few hours a day...). For the sake of proving this is a totally reliable resource that any struggling MAP can contact, I decided to go through the process of contacting them. When I got in touch with— wait, I never got in touch with anyone. The phone rang out and the online chat gave me a message saying there were no operators available. I'm sure they pick up sometimes, and I'm sure that'll be when you're struggling the most and really on the verge of it. Just trust us! Get help and all that.
Meanwhile, you can browse their online support services, where they offer some fantastic self help services. Now— many of these don't actually have anything to do with being a MAP. There's a module teaching you how to be careful of "immediate gratification", as if that's relevant to a non-offending MAP that has to go a lifetime without any real gratification.
They have this informative section on fantasies and how you can manage them when they become a problem. They give a strong criteria on when a fantasy becomes a problem, such as:
you use fantasy to deal with a situation rather than resolving the problem itself
Wait hold on. What does "resolving the problem itself" mean in the context of fantasizing about a child? Let's scroll the rest of the page... huh, it doesn't say.
Right let's try another module. We'll find a useful one soon enough I bet! They have this fantastic piece of advice on how you can live with a sexual interest in children:
Create a mental image of a compassionate friend, whether real or imaginary. Visualize their appearance, demeanour, and how they interact with you. Breathe deeply and slowly, then engage in a conversation with this friend about your worries or struggles. Consider the advice they would offer, their tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. Jot down your thoughts, feelings, and the advice provided by your compassionate friend.
Excuse me, what the fuck? Stop It Now's advice for MAPs struggling with an attraction to children is to have a schizophrenic conversation with an imaginary friend and pretend you're getting good advice.
... Anyway. I don't know about you guys, but I sure feel like I
got help. Just follow this guide and you too can control your own thoughts and feelings!
help not guaranteed; refunds not available
, their "therapy" is for you to just create your own therapist in your head. Maybe I should've thought of this sooner, it is just genius.