I'm a MAP GL (AOA 4-14), slightly in my 30s, who admitted this to myself relatively recently, despite having experienced this kind of attraction for most of my life. I'm pretty withdrawn and, frankly, depressed, and when I decided to come out of the closet at least online and engage in some sort of online activism, it gave me the feeling that I'm not alone. That's worth a lot in these times of total loneliness.
The trigger for me was the numerous cases of teachers being arrested in the US on charges of having sexual relations with minors. It drove me white every time, as I was sure that in most cases it was something wonderful for both partners. I even started arguing with my friends IRL. I had a little less of them after that
But at the same time, it served as an excuse for me to be honest with myself. Well, things just fell into place, although the most surprising thing to realize is that you always knew it, you just couldn't admit it.I'm into a lot of humanities stuff, but it's mostly philosophy in its various expressions. The stuff I like most is, well, pretty abstract stuff, like ontology. I also like to develop lines of argument, drawing on different ethical systems to show that pedophilia should be legalized, at least in a limited way. Although sometimes I wish I could just somehow convey some of my feelings and emotions to people, unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Sometimes I want to tear my hair out and yell "how do you not understand!?!??"
In general, I want to be useful to the community and contribute to change for the better, even though I don't really believe in it. Yes, I'm a bit pessimistic, especially when conservative trends in the world have clearly started to increase. But perhaps things will change in the future and there will be some window of opportunity. I envision it as a double movement from above and below - from above in academia and from below as a social movement. But now we just need to survive and not let ourselves be destroyed.
All the best of luck to everyone, and I look forward to meeting you here!
