Might kill myself soon

[WavesInEternity]

But if we don't support our activists enough so they can live an austere life and continue doing activism without risking to being homeless then what can we expect but to be opressed?

I was recently homeless for nearly 10 months and I definitely don't want to repeat the experience. If I could be confident that I'd receive enough financial support from the community to live a half-decent life while dedicating most of my life to the cause, I'd be coming out and doing everything under my legal name. As things stand, it's pretty obvious that it would cause too much misery for me to bear after everything I've been through already.

I know what taking risks and defending unpopular causes in your legal name and "out on the streets" is like... I've done that with cannabis and psychedelics. I know many people who got arrested and was arrested myself once, though it was demonstrably for someone else's drugs so I was found not guilty in court. Psychedelics legalization wouldn't be happening without the triad of: 1) widespread illegalism; 2) open-minded academic research; 3) funding and pressure from pro-reform think-tanks. This is the model we should follow as MAPs.

[WavesInEternity]

here is a list of biological-antisuicidism...

As one who has long been suffering from major treatment-resistant unipolar depression, who's been grappling with suicidal ideas since age ~6 and actually tried to off myself at 11, I've tried many of the substances on your list, along with more traditional antidepressants like SSRIs and trazodone.

~ Ketamine is a fast-acting antidepressant for most people, but the effect is temporary, it has addictive properties, moderate risk of physical harm, and tolerance builds up quickly and can easily become permanent. I definitely wouldn't recommend unsupervised use in a self-medication context. There are now clinics in a few countries offering ketamine therapy for severe depression, but it's really expensive.

~ Buprenorphine, a powerful but atypical opioid, inevitably causes physical dependency as a side-effect and the antidepressant effects are still quite unproven. I never tried it for depression though... I tried it (under prescription) for opioid dependency. Methadone, which I'm still using, was ultimately a much better option for me.

~ Psychedelics are the most effective antidepressants I've ever taken. They had a wonderful long-lasting effect that seemed to address the root causes of my depression rather than temporarily making me feel "better". They made my life feel meaningful. However, I also know from trip sitting many people and seeing some "bad trip" that not everyone reacts the way I did. High Openness To Experience is necessary to appreciate and really integrate the experience. Also, for first-time users, I'd never advise that one try them alone. An experienced trip sitter is a must. Although the risks are relatively low, those are still powerful substances that deserve respect and caution.