Thread about cutting contact with sister over her marrying sex offender

[PorcelainLark]

"AITAH for going no contact with my sister after she married a registered sex offender?" August 5 2024

her husband is my age. he was charged in 2023 with many (20 i believe) counts of Possession of Sexual Abuse Material of a Child as young as the age of 5.

i went no contact on morality coupled with the fact i have a 4 year old daughter.

since we found out and went no contact in spring of this year, i have faced nothing but guilt tripping from some family members, mainly my grandmother. she went to visit my sister this weekend and this morning told me that she is planning a trip which she wants my other sister and i to attend because “sister is struggling with the fact you two don’t talk to her. i think you need to get over whatever It is you’re feeling about this because that’s your sister. you don’t have to have a relationship with him, but she’s your family”.

i have already had immense guilt over whether or not i did the right thing in going no contact. i’ve never had to navigate something like this before. i would much rather have contact with my sister, but that puts my daughter one step closer to her husband and i would never forgive myself if something happened. no one has criticized her for marrying a pedophile, but i get criticized weekly for not talking to her because of it. so, am i the asshole for going to contact? i guess i’m also looking for advice on how to navigate no contact and staying strong on my boundaries. signed, a recovering people pleaser.

From the comments:

NTA but I would give grandma an ultimatum. Tell her that you are not jeopardizing the well being of your daughter by hanging out with a known sex offender and if grandma keeps bringing it up then you’ll have to start reevaluating grandmas involvement with your daughter.

Yep grandma backing up a pedo when she knows you have a young daughter is enough evidence for me to know she's dangerous and can't be trusted. Especially around children.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments ... ter_after/

What a sorry state of affairs it is that the pedo hysteria means people won't even talk to relatives involved with MAPs, and that a grandmother is called "dangerous" for wanting her granddaughters to remain on speaking terms. They dehumanize the people who refuse to dehumanize us. My sympathy is with the sister that has been cut off and the grandmother that doesn't want to see family members behave so cruelly towards each other.
This atmosphere of paranoia and people turning on each other (even family members) reminds me of this book "Stasiland".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stasiland

[Fragment]

The first thing that jumps out is that people just don't know the data. The number of CP offenders who later have a contact offence is less than 2%. Having 4-year-old daughter, who will likely be monitored when the bf is around carries almost zero risk. Statistically the women should be more worried about her husband.

Wanting to cut off other relatives is just reaching crazy level, though.

Such is the state of reddit, though. In particular AITAH. They'll suggest a divorce at the drop of a dime. They have no problem advising destroying relationships and families. It's so toxic.

[ZVOTD]

Reddit is such a cesspool and is one of the worst social media websites when it comes to anti-MAP content. You think that it wouldn't be that bad since it claims that it is a website that supports "acceptance and tolerance." However, you can find entire threads dedicated to wishing death to us and calling us terrible names.

[ZeroXJoker]

Reddit is such a cesspool and is one of the worst social media websites when it comes to anti-MAP content. You think that it wouldn't be that bad since it claims that it is a website that supports "acceptance and tolerance." However, you can find entire threads dedicated to wishing death to us and calling us terrible names.

My old account on Reddit got a 3 day suspension because I said it was fine if a 15 or 16 year old had a relationships with someone in their 20's. Now one subreddit on there that was eventually banned I had came out on there as a MAP on my old account they accepted me there until the subreddit went away.

[ZVOTD]

My old account on Reddit got a 3 day suspension because I said it was fine if a 15 or 16 year old had a relationships with someone in their 20's. Now one subreddit on there that was eventually banned I had came out on there as a MAP on my old account they accepted me there until the subreddit went away.

I actually hid a map flag as well as a link to newgon in my profile picture on reddit. So far nobody has really noticed it but I hope a couple people check out the link eventually.

[ZeroXJoker]

My old account on Reddit got a 3 day suspension because I said it was fine if a 15 or 16 year old had a relationships with someone in their 20's. Now one subreddit on there that was eventually banned I had came out on there as a MAP on my old account they accepted me there until the subreddit went away.

I actually hid a map flag as well as a link to newgon in my profile picture on reddit. So far nobody has really noticed it but I hope a couple people check out the link eventually.

I never did that with my old account. I ended up deleting that account because someone chased me into another subreddit after I defending artistic freedom saying that I don't see the problem is someone wanted to draw a child in the single digits of age having sex with adults. Got called out for that saying that "I'm not going to have sex anymore because I defend stuff like that" and got called an incel then telling me "You probably make women dry with the stuff you say."