MAP Forum

Red Rodent wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 1:13 pm

BLueRibbon wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 12:44 pm I used to be proud of my ability to make platonic YFs, but then I got a bit older, took on excessive responsibilities, and don't 'have it' any more.

I don't think you ever "lose it," BLR.

Kids react to you differently as you get older, it's true. When I went into teaching (secondary, 11-18 year-olds) I was much closer to the kids' ages than I was to their parents'. I was the young, broadminded, wise older brother figure who took no shit from them but was always on their side. Ten years later it suddenly dawned on me that I was conceivably old enough to have teenage kids of my own. It all happens so quickly, doesn't it? I still loved teaching but started having these visions of myself as one of those dusty, sad old pedagogues with classroom management issues, churning out the same syllabus year in, year out while waiting for his pension. But I never felt I lost the connection with my students. It just changed to a different frequency.

I changed career a couple of years back but former pupils, some still in their teens, still give me high-fives in the street and stop for a chat. I don't think that's because of anything special about me or any "gift" that I have, it's just down to being genuinely fond of them, respecting them as human beings, having time to listen non-judgmentally and laugh about shit.

When I hear about experts saying how "skilled" people who "groom" kids are at manipulating them, I think, "BS!" The problem is it's just too easy. The difference is we don't do it for nefarious ends. We do it because relating to young people gives us a buzz ten times more powerful than crack.

BLueRibbon wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 1:20 pm How did you pivot from big brother to Dad?

Red Rodent wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 1:13 pm When I hear about experts saying how "skilled" people who "groom" kids are at manipulating them, I think, "BS!" The problem is it's just too easy. The difference is we don't do it for nefarious ends. We do it because relating to young people gives us a buzz ten times more powerful than crack.

mrlolicon93 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 29, 2024 9:59 pm Are you proud of the fact that you are attracted to minors or does it make you feel insecure and feel like a bad person for having thoughts you cannot control?

mrlolicon93 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 29, 2024 9:59 pm Are you proud of the fact that you are attracted to minors or does it make you feel insecure and feel like a bad person for having thoughts you cannot control?

Strato wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 8:30 pm

mrlolicon93 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 29, 2024 9:59 pm Are you proud of the fact that you are attracted to minors or does it make you feel insecure and feel like a bad person for having thoughts you cannot control?

How is it possible for me to feel good about myself when society repeats over and over that there is something seriously wrong with me?
[...]
Overwhelming ostracisation and discrimination renders pride obsolete in my case.

Red Rodent wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 10:17 pm

Strato wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 8:30 pm

mrlolicon93 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 29, 2024 9:59 pm Are you proud of the fact that you are attracted to minors or does it make you feel insecure and feel like a bad person for having thoughts you cannot control?

How is it possible for me to feel good about myself when society repeats over and over that there is something seriously wrong with me?
[...]
Overwhelming ostracisation and discrimination renders pride obsolete in my case.

Iatrogenic is a new word for me. I had to look it up. There aren't many folk who expand my vocabulary, so thanks for that.

Being a gay boy born in the late 1980s and growing up through the seismic shift in attitudes that took place in the 90s and early 2000s was enough to teach me that society's beliefs are not just transient, they suck. In fact, society in general sucks. Membership of its elite is more often granted than earned and entails a lot of hypocrisy and virtue-signalling. (As distinct from humanity, which is cool and of which membership is a birthright). Thankfully, I had reached that conclusion by the time I started to cotton on to the fact that I was attracted to boys significantly younger than myself in my early teens.

I was lucky enough to have parents, a family and other role-models who helped validate this attitude, so I never felt bad about my feelings. Scared, sometimes, that I would become the "ticking timebomb" I heard and read about in the media but I soon realised that this was just more hypocrisy and virtue-signalling on behalf of society's elite and self-appointed influencers.

Boychat played a significant role in my coming to terms with and accepting who I was (and still am) in this respect. I guess I'm lucky to have been born in the right place at the right time, despite the bullshit prejudice that surrounded me.

Not feeling proud of being a paedophile doesn't mean that I'm not proud of who I am and what I have become. I hope you can find the same space as me in time.

Strato wrote: ↑Mon Sep 02, 2024 11:20 amI was at boarding school (very like the one in the Lindsay Anderson film “If”), where falling in love with a younger boy was considered “queer” and earned one repeat homophobic vocabulary courtesy of one’s peers.