MAP Forum

Non exclusive for me. I have an interest in adult woman and am attracted to adult women but being a MAP is secondary for me.

I think the concept of MAPs, as a category of people, is dishonest (if a man is attracted to women in their thirties, he has to be relatively attracted to some teenagers who share the same features that they do. We should expect heterosexuals to be attracted to minors who appear healthy and fertile).

I don't really think of myself as a 'pedophile' either even though most anti-pedophile people would probably not make a distinction. I have a very basic mild attraction to some girls as young as 7 (I'm not remotely attracted to girls under 6) but as arbitrary as the line might be it's not really the 'full-blown' attraction I have to girls and women who look as though they have at least started puberty. There are some very facially attractive children (two or three actresses come to mind who were probably 9 or 10 or 11 in what I'm thinking of them in) and occasionally I will see 7-11 year-olds in bikinis or short shorts who are very attractive but there are also times when I view prepubescent children as completely non-sexual (in terms of my feelings about them). When I was extremely sick, for example, I had no interest at all in sexualizing children, it wasn't remotely appealing to me (not for moral reasons, just from a standpoint of sexual interest) and even though I had no libido I was still 'aware' that I was wired to find women (adult females) attractive on some level. As a general rule I don't start to become really attracted to girls until around 12 (although I can think of a couple of 11-year-olds who were attractive to me in what I saw them in). When I fantasize about prepubescent girls a big part of it is the novelty factor and being turned on by the idea of a romanticish relationship with one but they are unambiguously not my primary preference (my ideal age range would be around 12/13-39).

I've never had a 'thing' for teenagers, I guess on some level I never liked the assumption that if a man is attracted to some teenagers he must have a preference for them (because the latter is seen as especially 'creepy,' even though I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't think that attraction is ever inherently wrong or bad, but I do think that some sexual 'fetishes' or 'preferences' that have nothing to do with *who* you're interested in are inherently immoral) but if you press me I guess my super ideal perfect dream fantasy partner would probably be in her early teens (or maybe just her teens). The vast majority of people I fantasize about are in their 20s and 30s, but if I could create my absolute ideal dream girl she would probably be around 12-15 but the additional attractiveness (if you compare her to her still attractive 35- year-old self) is 'unnecessary,' it's trivial, so it's not as though I could never be happy with a partner in her 30s (and for the record, my top of the attractiveness hierarchy ideal doesn't necessarily match with what is conventionally attractive). One of the reasons why I find the age gap stigma to be so harsh is that I'm generally not attracted to middle-aged women (I'm 39) and that's out of my control, I assume that in my 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s I'm still going to prefer people in the 13-39 age range. If there are some 40-something- year- old women I'm strongly attracted to they will probably look as though they're in their 30s. I like the idea of living in a society where the only sexual taboos are those that cause pain, deprive someone of happiness or imply de-valuing the happiness and suffering of other people, so in that society I would be free to be intimate with 7-year-olds and middle-aged women etc. and it was an accepted thing but the former are definitely not my preference, all other factors being equal. I'm almost somewhat like a straight man being turned on by the idea of being bi-sexual except I do have some real basic physical attraction to some prepubescent girls who are 6/7 and older.

"do you feel that you're more in control or less in control, if presented with a scenario that could escalate as a MAP if it presented itself."

I am generally not impulsive or outgoing. I wouldn't even feel comfortable admitting to who I'm attracted to offline out of self-consciousness (about being conventionally unattractive, especially my body, and unrequited attraction, etc.). De-stigmatizing age gap relationships wouldn't help me personally in any way, as much as I support that when it comes to adults at least (I'm against stigmatizing child-adult sex on principle but not necessarily against discouraging it in practice out of risk aversion, wanting to minimize harm to children; say, because they internalize the idea that they were wrongfully exploited in retrospect. I do think that the stigmatization of pedophilia itself is inherently immoral in that it devalues the sexual pleasure qua happiness of both pedophiles and children; whatever pleasurable sexual, erotic or 'romantic' intimacy children could experience with an adult or another child would be valuable even if we need to weigh it against risks and costs but I won't get into that. I can't edit this post, I've spent too much time on it already and I don't even know if it will go through).