MAP Forum

18andconfused wrote: Mon Apr 14, 2025 7:02 pm how did u enjoy the experience of your former girlfriends ‘rape’ fetish? it’s really cool to hear about other people’s kinks and fetishes; sometimes i feel like mine are too strange or weird or fucked up. i’ve had plenty of fetishes like that. i enjoy writing erotica and smut on other platforms or just in my notes app that often involve those things. i’ve had plenty thoughts/desires of being drunk or drugged while played with.

also i really appreciate your advice with the bdsm culture. i was on a website awhile ago called FetLife and had a really hard time saying no to people or feeling like it’s not selfish to not reply to messages or whatever. something i have to work on

I really loved my partners' autobiastophilia, given how I've had symmetric rape fantasies myself since I was 12. With my longest-time ex-girlfriend, some of our most intense consensual non-consent sessions were so realistic that they doubtless would have looked like the "real deal" to an unknowing observer. Those were consistently some of my all-time favourite sex sessions. It felt amazing to let go completely of all inhibitions and let sexuality be wholly instinctive and animalistic, to express it with a violence that truly reflected the maelstrom of my desire. It required a lot of practice to reach that point; at first, it feels very "unnatural" to act that way, oddly enough!

Actually, a friend once saw me just French kiss and fondle that particular girlfriend and he commented that it looked like a sexual assault. That's exactly how she liked it, and I was very happy about that. Our sexuality being so aggressive, transgressive and fetishistic compensated for the fact that I only found her barely sexually attractive on a base physical level.

I know FetLife. It's too tame for my tastes.

Oh, and I write erotica too! Usually involving girls in my ideal age of attraction, but sometimes young adults in hardcore BDSM scenarios. Lately, writing such stories has been my primary sexual outlet apart from my ever-present passionate appreciation of lolicon. Unfortunately, we can't share erotica or give details here, but don't worry about your kinks being "too strange or weird or fucked up": the erotica I write is always either too "pedo" or too rapey to be published on any website I know outside of the darknet! Some of my fantasies involving adults, and even sometimes adolescents, get really, really dark and twisted, involving e.g. abductions, brainwashing, sex slavery... As a teenager, I hated myself for having them. They felt so evil, especially since they completely contradict my broader personality and especially my style as a romantic partner. Meeting psychologically stable, sane submissive girls with symmetric fantasies really changed my perception of my sexuality, and of sexuality in general. ("Really? You want me to do that to you are you're not insane?)

I really loved my partners' autobiastophilia, given how I've had symmetric rape fantasies myself since I was 12. With my longest-time ex-girlfriend, some of our most intense consensual non-consent sessions were so realistic that they doubtless would have looked like the "real deal" to an unknowing observer. Those were consistently some of my all-time favourite sex sessions. It felt amazing to let go completely of all inhibitions and let sexuality be wholly instinctive and animalistic, to express it with a violence that truly reflected the maelstrom of my desire. It required a lot of practice to reach that point; at first, it feels very "unnatural" to act that way, oddly enough!

Actually, a friend once saw me just French kiss and fondle that particular girlfriend and he commented that it looked like a sexual assault. That's exactly how she liked it, and I was very happy about that. Our sexuality being so aggressive, transgressive and fetishistic compensated for the fact that I only found her barely sexually attractive on a base physical level.

I know FetLife. It's too tame for my tastes.

Oh, and I write erotica too! Usually involving girls in my ideal age of attraction, but sometimes young adults in hardcore BDSM scenarios. Lately, writing such stories has been my primary sexual outlet apart from my ever-present appreciation of lolicon. Unfortunately, we can't share erotica or give details here.

oh gosh that sounds so nice. your friends comment must have made her feel so happy and satisfied. i hope i get to meet some people who would be into that with me. would u be comfortable sharing numbers or social media through a private message and maybe we could share some writing? if not that’s totally okay, i guess i’m just interested : )

While off board contact isn't prohibited, we do warn members to be very careful when engaging in it, especially with members who are newer to the community.

I'd also remind people that erotic fiction involving minors, while legal in some jurisdictions, counts as "abuse material" in others. As ridiculous as that is, know your local laws.

18andconfused wrote: Tue Apr 15, 2025 12:23 am would u be comfortable sharing numbers or social media through a private message and maybe we could share some writing? if not that’s totally okay, i guess i’m just interested : )

You're a bit too new here for me to share contact details at this point, but if you stick around and get to know me better (and vice-versa), I'd eventually be open to it. It's a matter of weeks, though, not of a few days. Also, I don't use social media. At all. I'm a ghost online. That's why I'm fairly comfortable sharing more personal details on this forum.

You're a bit too new here for me to share contact details at this point, but if you stick around and get to know me better (and vice-versa), I'd eventually be open to it. It's a matter of weeks, though, not of a few days. Also, I don't use social media. At all. I'm a ghost online. That's why I'm fairly comfortable sharing more personal details on this forum.

i understand that , no worries.

Oh dear... You need to use the tag without the slash first:
...then with the slash afterwards:
Fortunately, you can edit your posts.

For some reason, I ended up discussing some details of female sexuality in another thread. (Warning: let's keep the discussion technical and academic.)

oh okay, i didnt really understand that. sorry

18andconfused wrote: Wed Apr 16, 2025 2:09 pm oh okay, i didnt really understand that. sorry

It's alright hun, I'm assuming you've never used an old-fashioned forum with BBCode before.

Speaking of getting to know each other, what are your non-sexual hobbies? I notably like reading, writing (including poetry), music, cooking, video games (horror and puzzle games are my favourites), anime, and flower arrangement in the summer. I have an introverted, sensitive, and cerebral personality that's totally unlike my sexuality as a Dom—though I can also be quite intense in everyday life (and tender sexually).

With regard to your sexuality, when did you accept that you were a nepiophile/pedophile? Was it gradual or sudden? For me, the realization was gradual, but the acceptance was sudden, if that makes sense. I started to realize that I was only attracted to the youngest-looking girls as soon as I started looking at porn, at 10, then it became even clearer when I discovered lolicon at 12 and loved it far more than any other erotic material... but I was in denial about it, telling myself that it was because of my own age and I'd "grow out of it", and/or that I was a nijikon attracted to childlike 2D characters. I was effectively forced to accept the fact of my paedophilia (I didn't know the acronym MAP) at 15 when I fell in love with a 7-year-old distant cousin and desired her sexually more than I've ever desired any other girl except two. To this day, I can say that if I could choose—in some sci-fi scenario—a body of my choice for my romantic partner that she'd keep forever, it would be the tiny, slender, heavenly body of that specific girl at 7 or 8 years of age.