MAP Forum

I almost ended my life yesterday. It was probably the closest I’ve come. I had a method chosen and prepared.

One thing that stopped me is the people that have acknowledged the work I do in the MAP community.

Actually some of my biggest breakdowns recently have been due to attacks by other members of the community.

So thank you to those of you who show your appreciation for what I do. My legal troubles and their ultimate consequences have me in such a fragile place mentally (although I might not seem it when I’m engaged in some academic discussion). It only takes a droplet of water to make my glass overflow.

But knowing I impact other MAPs in a positive way is a reason to keep on living. When I first started this work, I thought that victory would be measured by moving the needle of society. But the individual stories and messages I get? They are their own kind of unique victory- one I never expected.

Also thanks to BLueRibbon. You know why.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. It sounds incredibly tough. I want you to know that I admire the work you're doing in the MAP community; it's clear that you're making a difference in people's lives.

If you ever feel like sharing more about what you're experiencing, I'm here to listen. I hope that you'll still have access to mental health services in prison. It's so important to have that support, especially during such a challenging time.

It's also really disheartening to hear about the unfairness you're facing with the justice system. You're a good person, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and it's frustrating to see what is happening.

If there's anything I can do to support you, please let me know. I'm here for you, and I hope you're finding some time for self-care, even if it's just small things that bring you comfort.

For us to win it takes time and thinking but we should never lose hope as that is the only way we can move fordward and eventually make it.

I finished listening at your interview and I can only vaguely imagine what you are going through. But please don't let them win. Hugs!

We need you, Fragment. Don't let the do-nothings make you lose sight.

Writing an apology letter.
They think I have no remorse.
I'm a predatory monster.

I'm a monster that
Cries 'til my tear ducts run dry.
Whose whole body is trembling uncontrollably.
Who heaves over the toilet til I bring up stomach acid, or blood.

And not because I "got caught".

That's the kind of monster I am.

Don't lose hope man...we've all got your back. I believe in you.

I haven't sat down and watched movie for my own pleasure since October 2023.

Such is the fate of a predator that takes their victim's innocence, and goes on about their life thinking not a thing of it.

Fragment wrote: Tue Feb 18, 2025 12:25 pm I haven't sat down and watched movie for my own pleasure since October 2023.

Such is the fate of a predator that takes their victim's innocence, and goes on about their life thinking not a thing of it.

You will get to it