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Avoid or Accept

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2025 8:35 pm
by liliets
Are you someone who tries to avoid your attraction or someone who accepts it as one part of your traits?

Re: The more a truth is avoided the more it becomes present.

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2025 9:08 pm
by LittleGirlLover9
I have accepted my attraction, but I dont know if I would say im proud of it to be honest

Re: The more a truth is avoided the more it becomes present.

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2025 9:53 pm
by Julia
liliets wrote: Sun Feb 16, 2025 8:35 pm I feel that if I tried to avoid maybe I could be around other people, talk like them, live like them, be with someone but not alone, maybe I could pretend but I would not be happy.
I have lived in denial until three years ago. Couldn't even admit it to myself. I knew in the back of my mind that something was going on, but I've always been really good at suppressing uncomfortable thoughts. It's not healthy. I would always carry this subconscious self-hatred inside of me. When I could finally accept myself, it was such a huge weight off my shoulders. I would never want to go back.
LittleGirlLover9 wrote: Sun Feb 16, 2025 9:08 pm I have accepted my attraction, but I dont know if I would say im proud of it to be honest
That's perfectly fine. Just keep in mind that there's no need to feel ashamed either, as it's not a choice. Many people believe that shame is the opposite of pride, but it's not. Humility is the true opposite of pride.

Re: The more a truth is avoided the more it becomes present.

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2025 11:24 pm
by liliets
LittleGirlLover9 wrote: Sun Feb 16, 2025 9:08 pm I have accepted my attraction, but I dont know if I would say im proud of it to be honest
I get it, most of us feel like that, I do too but I think it is because we are seeing ourselves as people different than us see us, so we become "anti-ourselves", and i think it shold not be like that since non MAPs, dont even have to accept their attraction and live proudly with it, but because we are attracted to someone different than them does not mean we are wrong

Re: The more a truth is avoided the more it becomes present.

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2025 11:31 pm
by liliets
Julia wrote: Sun Feb 16, 2025 9:53 pm
That's perfectly fine. Just keep in mind that there's no need to feel ashamed either, as it's not a choice. Many people believe that shame is the opposite of pride, but it's not. Humility is the true opposite of pride.
You are right, but I think many MAPs if not most accept their attraction just because we are born that way, and not becase is okay to be how we are as we are not hurting anyone, and most are willing to make who they are attracted to happy, but there is that issue, if we don't "completely" accept our selves as normal humans we are, I think we are gonna be wandering eternally in nowhere...

Re: Avoid or Accept

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2025 2:10 pm
by FairBlueLove
Reading around in the forums, I think that I'm lucky enough to have accepted myself since the beginning. To me it was always natural to be like that, and - in merit to the issue mentioned by liliets - I have confidence that if our relationships were allowed they would be not only innocuous, but beneficial for kids and society in general.

However, there is law, and a hysterical world to cope with, which is no small issue. See... In some sense, having accepted myself makes this issue bigger, I think. Because if I didn't accept myself and thought the world is right, I could at least think that what I'm doing - that is, NOT expressing my attraction - is the right thing to do.

Re: Avoid or Accept

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2025 3:28 pm
by Lightie Twinkle
FairBlueLove wrote: Mon Feb 17, 2025 2:10 pm I have confidence that if our relationships were allowed they would be not only innocuous, but beneficial for kids and society in general.
I believe that too.
- that is, NOT expressing my attraction -
Right, But at least accepting ourselves inside can help us find a way to help others understand us and then we will able to express.

Re: Avoid or Accept

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2025 5:21 pm
by PorcelainLark
I've always accepted being a MAP. Curiously, I have a lot of shame about other aspects of who I am, but never about being a MAP.

Re: Avoid or Accept

Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2025 11:51 am
by Bookshelf
You have one life. It would be unfortunate to spend it repressing the reality of a significant aspect of yourself.

Re: Avoid or Accept

Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2025 8:24 pm
by Keith
I have always accepted the fact that I fine YOUNG BOYS attractive. I never wonder why I do. I always have believe we are all born A certain way. I don't let the fact I what to be with A YOUNG BOY so much run my life.