MAP Forum

These last few weeks have been rough. I’ve been on a new medication, but it caused extreme akathisia (constant physical restlessness and twitchiness) coupled with lethargy.

It fucking sucks constantly changing meds and a year on still not having the right one.

It’s really got not much to do with being a MAP. Except that in my criminal case it feels like my illness isn’t being given due weight. Either in terms of my culpability for my actions, nor in terms of what kind of sentence would lead to proper rehabilitation.

Putting me in a cage is just gonna fuck up my already fucked up brain. And I don’t trust a bunch of cops to medicate me properly. They already got me addicted to Valium, and didn’t have me on Lithium because “we don’t offer that here because we’d need to blood tests.”

I’m trying a new combo of the two that've worked the best until now. Hopefully that gives me some relief from this hell. But one of them is Lithium. So if my appeal fails and I end up in prison they’ll have to change again.

Psychiatric medication generally sucks. My own sympathies lie firmly with the anti-psychiatry movement, as with R. D. Laing who took LSD with his patients and believed that it was society that was insane, not people.

Japan (I believe that is where you're on trial?) is sadly well-known for being decades behind Western countries when it comes to its understanding of mental health issues and the treatment options offered. Until the 1990s, they didn't even acknowledge the existence of depression, and the introduction of the concept by pharmaceutical companies led to mass over-medication: https://sci-hub.se/10.3233/jrs-2012-0560

I'm sure you already know this, but be careful with benzodiazepines. Sustained use over time inevitably causes physical dependency and withdrawal can be extremely unpleasant, even life-threatening in rare circumstances.

WavesInEternity wrote: Sat Mar 22, 2025 4:45 pm I'm sure you already know this, but be careful with benzodiazepines. Sustained use over time inevitably causes physical dependency and withdrawal can be extremely unpleasant, even life-threatening in rare circumstances.

When you're in jail the choices are "benzos now, or not at all" it turns them from being something you take when feeling anxiety into something you take as a habit. That habit has now persisted over a year. Still a low dose. But it's started to increase. My psychiatrist is trying to help me wean off.

I don't agree with a lot of psych meds for anxiety and depression. Bipolar, schizophrenia and so on are different, though. But I haven't had much luck with most meds. Hopefully going back to the "gold standard" of lithium will help.

They already got me addicted to Valium, and didn’t have me on Lithium because “we don’t offer that here because we’d need to blood tests.

Are fucking kidding me? That was their response? Why not just have a doctor or nurse give you a blood test?