Welcome to Cowardly Pedophiles (CowPed)
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2025 12:34 pm
(To my anti-c friends, I still love you all!)
****
Hello and welcome! If you’re a Minor-Attracted Person (MAP) with deep moral convictions, a strong sense of shame, and a burning desire to throw every other MAP under the bus—you’re in the right place.
At CPA, we believe in three sacred truths:
1. You are dangerous. Not because you’ve done anything, but because you could. The only way to be good is to be terrified of yourself.
2. The law is never wrong. If society says 17 is too young, it must be. If they say 18 tomorrow, we'll adapt. We ride the moral winds like scared squirrels in a hurricane.
3. We don’t want rights, we want distance. The farther we are from other MAPs—the ones who talk about consent, stigma, or ethics—the safer we feel. After all, if we distance ourselves enough, maybe society will only burn them.
Our official slogan:
“Not like those pedophiles!”
Still not convinced? Let us reassure you:
We understand that solidarity is risky.
So we’ve replaced it with sacrificial scapegoating.
You can’t build a future if you’re busy defending them, right?
Do you feel a pull to challenge unjust laws?
Do you believe some youth are capable of making their own decisions?
Do you think nuance matters?
Get the hell out.
This space is for strategic cowardice only. We don’t reform society—we hide in it, apologizing profusely for existing.
Join us.
Just don’t ask for solidarity. Or dignity. Or rights.
We’re too busy begging not to be hated.
****
Hello and welcome! If you’re a Minor-Attracted Person (MAP) with deep moral convictions, a strong sense of shame, and a burning desire to throw every other MAP under the bus—you’re in the right place.
At CPA, we believe in three sacred truths:
1. You are dangerous. Not because you’ve done anything, but because you could. The only way to be good is to be terrified of yourself.
2. The law is never wrong. If society says 17 is too young, it must be. If they say 18 tomorrow, we'll adapt. We ride the moral winds like scared squirrels in a hurricane.
3. We don’t want rights, we want distance. The farther we are from other MAPs—the ones who talk about consent, stigma, or ethics—the safer we feel. After all, if we distance ourselves enough, maybe society will only burn them.
Our official slogan:
“Not like those pedophiles!”
Still not convinced? Let us reassure you:
- We firmly reject contact.
- We tentatively tolerate doll use and fiction, but only as a coping mechanism, never for pleasure, and only if you cry after.
- We’ve never looked at illegal images.
And if we did (we didn’t), we’re deeply sorry.
Please love us. - We condemn anyone who’s broken the law—not because they harmed anyone, but because they make us look bad.
(And deep down, we envy their recklessness.)
We understand that solidarity is risky.
So we’ve replaced it with sacrificial scapegoating.
You can’t build a future if you’re busy defending them, right?
Do you feel a pull to challenge unjust laws?
Do you believe some youth are capable of making their own decisions?
Do you think nuance matters?
Get the hell out.
This space is for strategic cowardice only. We don’t reform society—we hide in it, apologizing profusely for existing.
Join us.
Just don’t ask for solidarity. Or dignity. Or rights.
We’re too busy begging not to be hated.