MAP Forum

How is your love life? Assuming it exists, of course

Non-existent. I gave up trying a couple of months ago.

PorcelainLark wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 3:47 am Non-existent. I gave up trying a couple of months ago.

Sad.. Was there any specific cause?

Aqeuous_Firmlength wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 2:16 am How is your love life? Assuming it exists, of course

I'm in a few relationships (am polyam), a couple more romantic and one is a friend with benefits. I don't see any of them often tho

Aqeuous_Firmlength wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 4:47 am

PorcelainLark wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 3:47 am Non-existent. I gave up trying a couple of months ago.

Sad.. Was there any specific cause?

There were two people in a row that I had gotten along well with. One of them said they didn't want to continue, the other ghosted me. Before that I've been stood up, and ghosted a few times. If stuff like that happens often enough, eventually you feel like you're wasting your time. I don't have the motivation to keep trying since any hope I used to have is no longer there.

It's non-existent.

If I decide to have sex with a woman (if only to have any real experience), I'll probably pay money to a prostitute because this seems much fairer than relationship mimicry. Many women hate MAPs, don't they? I can not (I can, but do I want to?) cuddle every day something that is so fundamentally hostile to my existence–and–is not very pretty, to have to wear a mask even at home. To lie to her that I love her, or if that's not a lie, to never tell how wary I am of her, to never be able to show her my true self. Actually, I wouldn't mind giving a (not too old) woman who fell in love with me temporary comfort, but only temporary, and I'm yet to know of a woman who lusts for me.

The beauty of a young adult woman is like the fire of a burning match. If she has high neoteny, a torch is a better comparison. But a 7-year-old girl is the Sun, which I will miss even if I am attached to her enough or care for her enough to not break up with her by the time her beauty completely withers in my eyes.

That being said, I would try going for a (long-term) relationship with a female MAA or a woman whom I likewise won't have to live like a spy with. I'm lonely and could use some company and warmth, and darkness can be merciful enough to hide what you find ugly in your lover when you're together in bed. Besides, I have parents and they're going to want grandchildren. The older I get, the less a possibility it will become. It's not going to happen any time soon, of course, but in some (not too) distant future not even teleiophiles will find me (very) attractive.