The Meadow of Becoming
Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2025 11:57 am
For my nepi friends
Halren knelt in the soft clover grass, the sun warm on his back, weaving bright yellow daisies into a rope for no one in particular.
The littlest ones — the very youngest, still with the wobble of new walkers and the bright awe of unshielded hearts — toddled toward him.
Tali, barely past her second summer.
Merin, a breath behind her.
And Jessa, who still laughed like she had only just learned how.
They came as the river comes — without asking permission, without fear —
throwing themselves into his arms, collapsing into giggles.
Halren caught them easily, one in each arm, the third climbing boldly into his lap.
Their skin was sun-warmed, their hair still damp from the morning bath.
They smelled of crushed mint leaves and sweet milk.
Tali nuzzled against his throat.
Merin pressed a sticky kiss to his cheek.
Jessa, boldest, wriggled under his tunic to place her tiny hand over his heart, her fingers tracing the steady beat there like a private game.
In the Valley, there was no suspicion in such gestures.
There was only joy, given and received without calculation.
It was virtue — true virtue — to open one's body to another's joy.
It was sacredness — true sacredness — to be so needed, so trusted, so freely clung to.
Halren let them explore him as they wished:
small curious hands patting his ribs, tugging gently at his beard, tracing the soft skin of his forearm.
He answered with slow, patient touches —
stroking backs, untangling hair,
letting his hands rest warmly over round bellies and chubby legs as the girls wove themselves into him like vines.
Sometimes their play became stillness —
a kind of silent conversation of touch.
A cheek pressed into his palm.
Tiny fingers slipping under his hand and holding it there, as if claiming it.
In the old world, even such tenderness would have been broken into a thousand cruel meanings.
Here, it was simply becoming.
Here, the gift of pleasure — even the deepest bodily joys — was seen for what it was:
the body's natural answer to trust, affection, and being known.
There were no lines drawn in fear.
Only lines drawn in feeling.
Halren never moved faster than a sigh.
Never sought, never demanded.
He only gave, and let the little ones lead the dance of closeness as their hearts desired.
The meadow shimmered around them.
Somewhere nearby, a flute sang — high, trembling notes that seemed to carry sunlight in their wake.
Tali tucked herself under his arm and slept.
Merin, still restless, pushed Halren's hand onto her bare round belly and giggled when he drew lazy circles there, slow and safe and steady, until her laughter turned to soft sighs.
Jessa, stubborn even in sleep, clutched his tunic with both fists and buried her face against his chest.
The world asked nothing more of them.
No permissions.
No defenses.
Only this:
That they trust their bodies, and the bodies of those who loved them,
and that they learn to listen to the music of pleasure and safety as one song.
Halren closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of grass, of milk, of living trust.
He thought — or maybe he dreamed —
that he could feel the girls growing even now:
not taller,
not older,
but deeper —
deeper into themselves,
deeper into the radiant certainty that their joy was good,
and that they were good.
And in this, he too grew.
Not away from them.
Not above them.
With them.
In the Meadow of Becoming,
every shared breath,
every trembling laugh,
every quiet, quivering touch
was the heartbeat of a better world.
Halren knelt in the soft clover grass, the sun warm on his back, weaving bright yellow daisies into a rope for no one in particular.
The littlest ones — the very youngest, still with the wobble of new walkers and the bright awe of unshielded hearts — toddled toward him.
Tali, barely past her second summer.
Merin, a breath behind her.
And Jessa, who still laughed like she had only just learned how.
They came as the river comes — without asking permission, without fear —
throwing themselves into his arms, collapsing into giggles.
Halren caught them easily, one in each arm, the third climbing boldly into his lap.
Their skin was sun-warmed, their hair still damp from the morning bath.
They smelled of crushed mint leaves and sweet milk.
Tali nuzzled against his throat.
Merin pressed a sticky kiss to his cheek.
Jessa, boldest, wriggled under his tunic to place her tiny hand over his heart, her fingers tracing the steady beat there like a private game.
In the Valley, there was no suspicion in such gestures.
There was only joy, given and received without calculation.
It was virtue — true virtue — to open one's body to another's joy.
It was sacredness — true sacredness — to be so needed, so trusted, so freely clung to.
Halren let them explore him as they wished:
small curious hands patting his ribs, tugging gently at his beard, tracing the soft skin of his forearm.
He answered with slow, patient touches —
stroking backs, untangling hair,
letting his hands rest warmly over round bellies and chubby legs as the girls wove themselves into him like vines.
Sometimes their play became stillness —
a kind of silent conversation of touch.
A cheek pressed into his palm.
Tiny fingers slipping under his hand and holding it there, as if claiming it.
In the old world, even such tenderness would have been broken into a thousand cruel meanings.
Here, it was simply becoming.
Here, the gift of pleasure — even the deepest bodily joys — was seen for what it was:
the body's natural answer to trust, affection, and being known.
There were no lines drawn in fear.
Only lines drawn in feeling.
Halren never moved faster than a sigh.
Never sought, never demanded.
He only gave, and let the little ones lead the dance of closeness as their hearts desired.
The meadow shimmered around them.
Somewhere nearby, a flute sang — high, trembling notes that seemed to carry sunlight in their wake.
Tali tucked herself under his arm and slept.
Merin, still restless, pushed Halren's hand onto her bare round belly and giggled when he drew lazy circles there, slow and safe and steady, until her laughter turned to soft sighs.
Jessa, stubborn even in sleep, clutched his tunic with both fists and buried her face against his chest.
The world asked nothing more of them.
No permissions.
No defenses.
Only this:
That they trust their bodies, and the bodies of those who loved them,
and that they learn to listen to the music of pleasure and safety as one song.
Halren closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of grass, of milk, of living trust.
He thought — or maybe he dreamed —
that he could feel the girls growing even now:
not taller,
not older,
but deeper —
deeper into themselves,
deeper into the radiant certainty that their joy was good,
and that they were good.
And in this, he too grew.
Not away from them.
Not above them.
With them.
In the Meadow of Becoming,
every shared breath,
every trembling laugh,
every quiet, quivering touch
was the heartbeat of a better world.