MAP Forum

If there is one change you would like to see in the world for MAPs, what would it be?

Consensual relationships with minors not punished with prison. If it's one change, it has to be that. So much else would flow on from that.

I leave a little leeway in my answer for how exactly society would deal with such relationships. But it can't be prison.

What would you propose as alternatives to incarceration?

I think I agreed with Fragment.

The end of people claiming that we have no right to a public identity. Or, in other words, being treated like everybody else, in the public square.

I'll aim low:

I have a dream, that one day I can hold a fucking support group meeting in my living room, in person, without fear for my safety.

BLueRibbon wrote: ↑Wed Jul 03, 2024 3:36 am What would you propose as alternatives to incarceration?

I think there are a few potential options. But, for example, consensual AMSC only resulting in a small fine, rather than prison time would allow for society to say "no that's bad" without totally destroying people's lives as it does now.

Restorative justice practices instead of prison could be another option. The perpetrator and victim sitting down with a facilitator to share their feelings and motivations and increase overall empathy.

There could be other kinds of social sanctions (like there are against adultery) without it being criminal, too.

Obviously, like WG I'd rather society change to be accepting, too. But even in the absence of that consensual AMSC could be considered "wrong, but not illegal".

Lots of good answers already. One thing that I'd like to see is pedophiles being allowed to meaningfully enter conversations about our sexuality. Most of the time we're relegated to the sidelines or seen as confirmers of bias; people think they know us and our view betters than we do. Because of what science says, it's assumed that I have uncontrollable urges, that I suffer from "cognitive distortions," that I delude myself regarding the true nature of my attraction - and this, in turn, renders all of my words worthless in the eyes of others because they think I'm just trying to excuse my deviancy.

Peace wrote: ↑Thu Jul 04, 2024 3:46 pm Lots of good answers already. One thing that I'd like to see is pedophiles being allowed to meaningfully enter conversations about our sexuality. Most of the time we're relegated to the sidelines or seen as confirmers of bias; people think they know us and our view betters than we do. Because of what science says, it's assumed that I have uncontrollable urges, that I suffer from "cognitive distortions," that I delude myself regarding the true nature of my attraction - and this, in turn, renders all of my words worthless in the eyes of others because they think I'm just trying to excuse my deviancy.

Peace, that's actually something that I was thinking about earlier today. Outside of a small number of researchers we almost definitely know more about our sexuality and about adult-minor sexual contact than most people. We have a vested interest in learning about it and researching about it. We definitely know more than even researchers about our own lived experiences and the traumas we face. Sure there may be some biases involved- everyone has them and I'm not so arrogant as to assume that MAPs are somehow above that. Research that says "pedophilia is experienced to some degree by 20% of the population" helps us to feel normal, so we're going to latch onto that more than research that said something like "pedophilia is an extreme illness caused by a brain deformity". We, of course, prefer the research that's validating. But many MAPs are quite well read regarding their sexuality. It isn't something that you just stumble into, after all.

Fragment wrote: ↑Thu Jul 04, 2024 4:00 pm It isn't something that you just stumble into, after all.

Yes, this is what frustrates me with conversations about pedophilia. People talk to us like we don't know anything, like we've somehow stumbled across their conversation without ever having heard of well-known stats, stories, or "pedophile experts." We're not engaged with good faith, people assuming that we haven't taken the time to reflect on our sexuality and introspect on our place in society. Like yes, I am indeed biased to the idea that my life has worth even though I am a dirty pedo.

This reflects the larger issue of what information about pedophilia is out there and how it's spread, which is a whole thing unto itself.