News story: Aaliyah & Kellie
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2025 11:24 am
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-09-20/ ... /105708692
This story popped up on my feed today. I read it and found it fascinating. I rarely post here but I had some thoughts I wanted to share.
Basically, they all boil down to the fact that Kellie had to keep her contact and subsequent relationship with Aaliyah a secret.
From the outset, it seems like Kellie (the teacher) was earnestly giving Aaliyah a shoulder to cry on. Even if she had other intentions, any "normal" romantic relationship could start with similar dynamic
Where I definitely find the ethics problematic are that Kellie was privately contacting Aaliyah while she was still in her class. Could have kept it limited to in-school contact only until end of school year.
Regardless when they started, all personal private communication and subsequent meetings had to be kept secret due to the legal risk.
I think that they both truly cared for each other. However, the weight of keeping a secret is too much for anyone, especially a kid. Aaliyah was going through a ton of new emotional, physical, psychological experiences and couldn't discuss them with anybody! Her friends could share gossip about boyfriends but she had to keep quiet. If she reached a point where she was unhappy or unsure about continuing the relationship, she had to nobody to talk to.
I think that's the biggest part of the trauma that we are told children endure. It's not the sex, it's the forced secrecy in order to maintain and navigate a relationship.
Eliminating the legal and social taboos around mixed-age relationships would open things up and help kids make better choices.
Imagine if Kellie felt she was able to tell Aaliyahs parents that she was interested in their daughter and they could come together to make boundaries and have regular checkins. The parents could then get honest information from Aaliyah and give guidance, both in starting a relationship and in deciding to end one. How much healthier would that be???
(I'm kinda letting the teacher/student dynamic slide... I have issues there)
This story popped up on my feed today. I read it and found it fascinating. I rarely post here but I had some thoughts I wanted to share.
Basically, they all boil down to the fact that Kellie had to keep her contact and subsequent relationship with Aaliyah a secret.
From the outset, it seems like Kellie (the teacher) was earnestly giving Aaliyah a shoulder to cry on. Even if she had other intentions, any "normal" romantic relationship could start with similar dynamic
Where I definitely find the ethics problematic are that Kellie was privately contacting Aaliyah while she was still in her class. Could have kept it limited to in-school contact only until end of school year.
Regardless when they started, all personal private communication and subsequent meetings had to be kept secret due to the legal risk.
I think that they both truly cared for each other. However, the weight of keeping a secret is too much for anyone, especially a kid. Aaliyah was going through a ton of new emotional, physical, psychological experiences and couldn't discuss them with anybody! Her friends could share gossip about boyfriends but she had to keep quiet. If she reached a point where she was unhappy or unsure about continuing the relationship, she had to nobody to talk to.
I think that's the biggest part of the trauma that we are told children endure. It's not the sex, it's the forced secrecy in order to maintain and navigate a relationship.
Eliminating the legal and social taboos around mixed-age relationships would open things up and help kids make better choices.
Imagine if Kellie felt she was able to tell Aaliyahs parents that she was interested in their daughter and they could come together to make boundaries and have regular checkins. The parents could then get honest information from Aaliyah and give guidance, both in starting a relationship and in deciding to end one. How much healthier would that be???
(I'm kinda letting the teacher/student dynamic slide... I have issues there)