Experience from adult relationships

[Supermario]

Consent is not something that is vocalised, it is simply explored (with high skill) and known during the subtext of flirting/communication of desire.

Often, women really enjoy sex after having been "coerced", so the commonly repeated narrative in the media is wrong. The perfectly moral form of consent is not actually offering 100% choice. Most people just hide that from the media types.

Could this be the same for children?

[Not Forever]

To me, consent is simply something psychological, which can be expressed verbally, through subtext, or implicitly — and it can also be withheld. Essentially, the (more or less explicit) request for consent serves as a patch to make up for our inability to read other people's minds.

It’s something that can change over time, in any case.
I believe that when it comes to young people, the issue of consent is more delicate, simply because they may be more easily influenced and have more difficulty expressing their psychological state (which also depends on their personality).

I’ll use my own experience as an example: I was always a “shy” child and tended to go along with things. My expression of dissent, at least at first, wasn’t very clear. If someone asked me to dress a certain way, I would say “I don’t want to.” but if they put a bit of pressure on me, I would end up complying. Afterwards, I’d feel stressed because of the clothing but kept it all inside until I eventually felt like crying.

The problem with these kinds of situations is that you can’t dig into someone else’s head. So, especially in cases where expressing consent or dissent is complicated, in my opinion, it’s important to pay close attention to small signals. If those signals are hidden or disappear, it might mean the person has shut down, rather than that they’ve been persuaded.

So, can it be the same for children? Maybe — maybe if the context and the approach are right. But it could also be the opposite, and the problem is that, at least at first, the two situations are probably indistinguishable from each other.

[PorcelainLark]

Often, women really enjoy sex after having been "coerced", so the commonly repeated narrative in the media is wrong. The perfectly moral form of consent is not actually offering 100% choice.

Seems like a slippery slope.

[BLueRibbon]

These discussions often forget one crucial factor: child/teen initiators are common.

Let's not fall into the anti trap of acting like AMSC is an adult foisting themself upon a confused child.

[PorcelainLark]

Let's not fall into the anti trap of acting like AMSC is an adult foisting themself upon a confused child.

What, you're saying sex can be innately pleasurable without any evil adult manipulation corrupting minors' desires? No self-respecting person would enjoy sex, right? Right?

[Curson]

Consent is not something that is vocalised, it is simply explored (with high skill) and known during the subtext of flirting/communication of desire.

Often, women really enjoy sex after having been "coerced", so the commonly repeated narrative in the media is wrong. The perfectly moral form of consent is not actually offering 100% choice. Most people just hide that from the media types.

Could this be the same for children?

I find it highly illogical that people can say teenagers can date each other, just not an evil adult who's past the age of 18 and should know better even if both parties love each other.

[Supermario]

To me, consent is simply something psychological, which can be expressed verbally, through subtext, or implicitly — and it can also be withheld. Essentially, the (more or less explicit) request for consent serves as a patch to make up for our inability to read other people's minds.

It’s something that can change over time, in any case.
I believe that when it comes to young people, the issue of consent is more delicate, simply because they may be more easily influenced and have more difficulty expressing their psychological state (which also depends on their personality).

I’ll use my own experience as an example: I was always a “shy” child and tended to go along with things. My expression of dissent, at least at first, wasn’t very clear. If someone asked me to dress a certain way, I would say “I don’t want to.” but if they put a bit of pressure on me, I would end up complying. Afterwards, I’d feel stressed because of the clothing but kept it all inside until I eventually felt like crying.

The problem with these kinds of situations is that you can’t dig into someone else’s head. So, especially in cases where expressing consent or dissent is complicated, in my opinion, it’s important to pay close attention to small signals. If those signals are hidden or disappear, it might mean the person has shut down, rather than that they’ve been persuaded.

So, can it be the same for children? Maybe — maybe if the context and the approach are right. But it could also be the opposite, and the problem is that, at least at first, the two situations are probably indistinguishable from each other.

Really good points, thanks for contributing here.