MAP Forum

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2025-10- ... ldren.html

How common is sexually abusive behavior between children?

Why does it happen? And what can daycare centers do about it?

[...]

Those aged 16–24 were more likely to have been sexually abused by a peer (18.2%) than by an adult (11.7%). Older age groups were more likely to have been abused by adults. For example, of those aged 25–44, 14.1% reported having experienced child sexual abuse by another young person, compared to 17.9% by an adult.

This pattern suggests we have made some progress in reducing the rates of adult perpetrated child sexual abuse, but sexual abuse between peers is increasing.

[...]

Children are naturally interested in their bodies and other people's bodies. This is part of growing up and learning about their world.

If a child is engaging in harmful or abusive sexual behaviors, this may be because they have been exposed to sexual abuse, violence in the home, pornography, or other trauma. They may be reenacting or processing something they have seen or experienced.

I’m always puzzled when they include simple pornography among the "traumas".
I’ll burst out laughing when, after all the efforts to ban pornography, it turns out that rape statistics have gone up almost everywhere.

If curious children do something inappropriate, good quality childcare centers will deal with these episodes calmly, as they arise. For example, a child might say, "I felt yuck because Sam asked me to pull down my pants."

Educators should respond in a kind, empathetic way and not shame anyone involved.

They can use the situation to explain we don't ask our friends to do this. And just because someone asks us to do something to or with our bodies, it does not mean we have to say yes. We often think of consent education being the job of high schools, but this education needs to start much earlier.

The real issue arises when the actions are consensual on both sides, and the nursery staff have to intervene to stop them despite that consent. The point is always the same: consent is considered valid only when it’s absent, because it serves the narrative — but when it’s present, it somehow has to be invalidated.

Once I dealt with a father of twin girls, and the two of them engaged in exploratory behaviors with each other. The parent was clearly worried and only calmed down after the pediatrician repeatedly emphasized that it was a completely normal behavior. Presenting things in a certain way only increases parents’ paranoia, when they should be reassured that the behavior is normal, not that a nursery is capable of anesthetizing children’s behavior in time.

Instead, we need to create opportunities for positive, healthy relationships and help children experience safe and appropriate forms of touch. For example, high-fives, hand-holding and hugs within clear boundaries and supportive adult supervision.

Abusive behaviors between children are deeply distressing, but are also preventable. By ensuring strong supervision, body safety education from early years, and responding to children with empathy rather than fear, we can protect kids.

From this quote, however, it seems that they are not aware that this is a normal, natural, instinctive behavior; on the contrary, they even consider it "distressing", which in my opinion stems from fear rather than empathy. Talking about “clear boundaries” doesn’t make it education about consent, but about morality. The "root cause" (cit) is biology and the human brain.

I can’t get out of my head that this behavior isn’t much different from when children were wrapped in bands on a stick, under the belief that this would make them grow straight, as if they were plants.