MAP Forum

https://www.sunlive.co.nz/news/373895-t ... oming.html

A teenager who developed post-traumatic stress disorder after exposure to pornography as a child, and was later groomed online by adult men, has died by suicide.

A coroner says the tragedy highlights the devastating impact of digital exploitation and the urgent need for stronger mental health support for youth.

The teenager died in the Marlborough region in 2023.

She was described as “a very capable student” who loved music, crafting, and volunteering.

However, in the years leading up to her death, her mental health was “fragile” and she was considered “extremely vulnerable”.

She received considerable counselling, psychiatric assessment, and medication.

At one point she was hospitalised.

‘Alien: Earth’ Presents a Realistic and Haunting Portrayal of Child Grooming

https://www.autostraddle.com/alien-eart ... -grooming/

In 2018, a tenth grader named Thomas killed himself in the town of my alma mater. Years later, a more comprehensive account of the event was unveiled. He was the victim of an inappropriate staff-child relationship at school that devastated his well-being and contributed to his eventual suicide. Interview evidence and the child’s phone data showed a pattern of grooming instigated by his water polo coach. The school ignored complaints about his behavior and when they finally had to take action, the coach resigned and the matter could no longer be pursued by the school.

My name is Luzie. I was a student when I believe I was groomed

https://www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/3608724 ... o-sunshine

My name is Luzie, I am 26 years old and when I was an undergrad student I believe I experienced grooming.

Before I start, it is very important to me to express why I want to share this. My motivation is to encourage others who are going through similar experiences. There were times when I felt alone and wasn’t sure if it was safe to talk about what happened. I also want to educate about what I think grooming is. This secret has been suffocating me for too long, so I want to tell my story.

I also want to explain why I have decided I do not want to mention the name of the person who did this.

In hindsight, I believe that it was not possible for me to consent, not under these extraordinary circumstances, the isolation, the secrecy, the power imbalance and all the time he had spent mentally preparing me for it.

Forgive me, I can't bring myself to feel bad. This woman was twenty years old. Power imbalance? She was the one paying the professor's salary.
I can understand feeling intimidated, I can understand regretting it in hindsight, but she was also using him to escape her own loneliness. This reinterpretation seems so damn unhealthy to me...

A twenty-year-old can't decide five years later whether or not she gave consent.
In hindsight, I should have invested in Bitcoin ten years ago. Does that mean I wasn't capable of consenting to where I invested my money at the time? Give me back the Bitcoins I never bought.

I also want to explain why I have decided I do not want to mention the name of the person who did this.

I don’t want to draw attention to him, [...]

But she did it. It only takes a few dates and testimonies to catch the professor. She just publicly accused him. I imagine that when she turns thirty, she'll say that maybe she wasn't able to give her consent for this testimony, in case it leads to layoffs or public shaming. Leading to the logical conclusion that anyone who is a little emotional or sees a psychologist is incapable of giving consent.

Seriously, this narrative irritates me.
Besides perpetually infantilizing women, a misogynist has concrete material he could use to his advantage with this way of thinking, considering women as incapable of understanding and making decisions.

For me, the grooming narrative is a pre-formatted way women and girls strip themselves of agency and play a social role of the passive and helpless innocent.

In the past, it was the "hysterical" woman, or being "overwhelmed", flushed, hyperventilating and in need of smelling salts. Because the cure for female hysteria was apparently to dole out a good beating, we have moved post Women's Liberation to a kind of broken doll hidden-victimhood that spans into history, spans into childhood suffering, and is esoteric; "believe woman", "listen to the child". We must hear and obey the female scream as it is never hysterical, but a thing of suffering.

There is probably an idiocy in both extremes; perhaps in the mid-century we had it as close to perfectly balanced, so far possible.

Honestly, I would like to know what she discussed with the psychologist.
I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if that interpretation was the result of her sessions with the psychologist, where the latter tried to help her process something, and they ended up building this narrative. A narrative that probably works for her mental health, but that becomes harmful when it’s exposed to the public and passed off as reality.