Being forced to be a victim
Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2026 1:48 pm
I had an interesting and unexpected conversation recently with someone who opened up about having sexual experiences as a child and after a few years, went through hell when her parents found out and reported him.
She described what came next as degrading and humiliating and impossible to deal with at the time.
Her parents told her he needed to be reported, counselors and the police told her she was a victim and he was a terrible person, friends and family told her she was a rape victim and he was a monster. Everyone was telling her what she was, what he was, how she must feel like a rape victim, must feel bad, must feel anger and hate. She said she was happy one day then forced to be a victim the next, was told she must live a life feeling like a rape victim each day. What really shocked me was she said on that day, she understood what a rape victim must feel like because she felt raped, not by him but by those people around her who she thought she could trust. They forced her to feel like a rape victim.
It made me think because I'd never thought of it like that, from that perspective. I wonder how common that is.
He has to share some blame because he shouldn't have put her in that situation. but it feels like her friends and family and counselors and police also have to share some of the blame.
She described what came next as degrading and humiliating and impossible to deal with at the time.
Her parents told her he needed to be reported, counselors and the police told her she was a victim and he was a terrible person, friends and family told her she was a rape victim and he was a monster. Everyone was telling her what she was, what he was, how she must feel like a rape victim, must feel bad, must feel anger and hate. She said she was happy one day then forced to be a victim the next, was told she must live a life feeling like a rape victim each day. What really shocked me was she said on that day, she understood what a rape victim must feel like because she felt raped, not by him but by those people around her who she thought she could trust. They forced her to feel like a rape victim.
It made me think because I'd never thought of it like that, from that perspective. I wonder how common that is.
He has to share some blame because he shouldn't have put her in that situation. but it feels like her friends and family and counselors and police also have to share some of the blame.