March On Washington, DC, 1993
Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2026 1:16 pm
REPORT from "I AM" zine #8; p.82: my solo activism during the national gay community's March on Washington, D.C.(unfortunately, never did find NAMBLA's contingent, even tho i saw author Dan T., whom claimed not to know where they were)
In Country
Morning of the March
Words from the Yell Cards (yelled thru bullhorn)
The Main March
Fasten your seat belts and brace yourself, [because] my "EGO" has not been tamed or lassoed. i had the severe audacity to prance in and out of the "flames" (as the lone warrior Riff Raff, writer of the now defunct "FAGAZINE" calls the hysteria of the day) in d.c. wearing a ten-foot-sized improvized ghost costume in which was concealed an "I AM" [zine]-financed bullhorn [--a.k.a. electronic loudspeaker].
The idea had come from a photo in a library book and i copied it using found objects lashed together with string and attached to a pole and my backpack.
Who acted as my unseen support? Well, certainly NAMBLA had originated it with my being "born again". Though after the euphoria extinguished itself, it was fueled by the high passions of many NAMBLA Bulletin letter writers and fellow "comrades-at-hearts" [like folks at Anarchy magazine, etc.]. [All] the discussions, the correspondence [including] as a one-time NAMBLA assistant corresponding secretary, had inspired me to BREAK FROM the overwhelming paranoia i too hold, and face the possibility of being beaten up and perhaps murdered [or assassinated?] for standing up for who i am.
i came by bus alone, having the good spirit to sit with two special people. The first was Kyle, a young DUDE who's smile style moved me deeply. And who was also notably suffering through parental-induced trial after head-cuffing pain trial. The young dude looked over to me for help and all i could say was: "we all had to go through what you're going through."
i showed my desire to care by the only means at my disposal--my art. And we drew together! His uncle (whom also treated Kyle with disrespect) was for once not prepared when i deliberately (but politely) moved to put more attention in creativity with Kyle. As a kind of 'thank you', Kyle gave me his toy motorcycle and driver, [which] was the "vehicle" that had first drawn us together; it had a copper wheel and i found that strange, and questioned him. But the toy was like a treasure to me, a memory present for a man who knows only a few instances of such genuine caring--especially at a time when there was obviously equal need. (The few instances of such experience come from my "chosen" lifestyle of staying largely away from kids in order to survive this world)
i wore that toy around my neck during my nonsilent action, in his memory!!
The other special person turned out to be a gay man who had appeared on many gaystream [media] after he had taken the city of Cincinatti to court when cops had beaten him up for jaywalking and having AIDS which they found out only after beating him up the first time. He had invited me to stay with him the night we got into d.c. and i did!!
"In country"
i checked out the "Radical Faeries" at their oval-grounds meeting place, by chance seeing them in their full contingent. I had previously met one of them at the infamous "Ann Arbor Hash Bash" back in '89, and then at my first Rainbow Gathering in 1990, when i walked into their camp fully naked!
Quite a creative bunch, and kind, they even agreed to use my bullhorn for an ensuing unconventional pre-rally meeting of playfully-flaunting queer-faeries. Later in the day, a day before the march i had handed out fliers at the lesbian gathering at DuPont Circle. That was a pretty crazy activism i realize, but mostly it was the lesbians who unwittingly asked for what i was carrying.
By eve, i met NAMBLA people who were meeting at the phone-spoken site in the midst of all the gay going-ons; very crowded, but somehow wasn't able to find them the day of the march; too bad, because i suspect the "prole" part of the group would have been happy to have me there confronting that fat lady that showed up when the film crew for the "Chickenhawk" documentary began filming!
i found a place to stay over on the 2nd night (?) with a guy i met at Du Pont Circle earlier; a man who i eventually fully came out to and who gave me a kiss on the lips when we parted 2 days later. i had gone into d.c. unsure of where i could stay but knowing various spaces had been set up for the parade "homeless."
morning of the march
The morning of the march i set up my costume just after exiting the crowded subway as legions of fellow homophiles cheerily moved by, many hinting curiosity. When i got into the [main] grounds, Jesse Jackson was speaking and i had half a notion to go rile things up there a little (i liked Jesse but i'm sure he could use a little heckling), as bullhorns have the capacity to do. Had i ....met a fellow (dark-skinned) nonsilent activist who had marched with me before and said he had come down to join me, perhaps i would've. Instead, i wafted through the herds and sought the front.
Near it, i found Dan Tsang, well-known author of boylove book "The Age Taboo" and he said he took a couple of photos of my costume. Later, it turned out that he had apparently not even taken the pictures, as when i called him repeatedly he stalled and finally said in a dismissive tone that they hadn't turned out...this from a person who i don't think is a novice photographer.
By this time i had already been using my "yell cards" (which helped me read slogans, etc.) through the bullhorn as The "Ghost of Dude-Lovers' Past" haunting the respectability forces of the assimilation-seeking gay community.
i read short [peices] from Jeff Beane's article in CHANGING MEN magazine #23, and significant speak carefully picked from various publications such as John Holt's Escape From Childhood and Anarchy, A Journal of Desire Armed magazine.
Plus the words pocketed from various Bulletin letters and [phrases, thoughts] here and there.
Words from Yell Cards
Here are some of them:
When i saw a kid contingent i said [stuff] like this:
As far as adversity, i met little. i think it had to do with the tactics of surprise that i used--in line with Saul Alinsky's ideas. Few were prepared for the "lone warrior" to step up [alone] and fuck with their mindsets.
There were two exceptions:
1.) The original color art i had with me was torn from [the back of] my backpack and stolen by a lesbian opponent. She obviously hadn't spent any time focusing (or thinking) on it, but as she pranced back to her herd she looked at it and saw that the "dreaded genitals" were funny smiling faces!!!
Anyway, even if the art-fart was torn up in frustration it had done its job--someone had found it significant enough to steal it!
2.) The second incident was when another woman opponent met me alone (with the safety of the bewildered herd behind) and proceeded to attack me verbally after asking if i was a NAMBLA operative (ahh, the need to blur my individuality before striking with Righteousness). i truthfully said no (i haven't yet paid my dues this year and wonder if i should). Well, she still had to retreat with the "dignity" of spiting me in hysterics (else her peer pressure might question her loyalty or something)...
"It's as if I described a pleasant sex experience with a woman and that meant I supported forced sex with all women."--Jason McQuinn of 'Anarchy' magazine.
[/size]
The woman seemed to be on the verge of physical violence thought one older man (who i didn't know) and he trained his speak on telling her that it was not necessary. She reacted that she had the right to speak too; if she had attacked me physically i would have made use of the bullhorn to make sure a lot of people heard what was going down...if that might make a difference when my death made news.
i too find it crazy to even think about facing such irrationality --as people wanting to kill or hurt those they don't agree with-- but i was prepared psychologically as the march in San Fiasco [San Francisco] helped shed any last naivety. Basically, i felt that this was a strong way to "Bash Back" --as the Queer Nation saying goes-- at all the insane lies and misinformation prevalent in our society.
"What right do you have to universalize your own painful experience on all the rest of the world?" --yelling out Jason McQuinn's reply to a letter writer in Anarchy Magazine.
All the rest of the year we cherishers of young human beings must sit through society's orgasmic violence done upon the entire spectrum of older/younger intimacy--so i think once or twice a year --at least-- we gutsy, "EGOTISTICAL" lone warriors can have a GOOD TIME making the sheep gay community uncomfortable!
This is not about "image" and "respectability," FUCK THAT. This is about our peoples' lives being destroyed on all fronts. It's about dudes being systematically divided away from adults in the most important area of all--the humanness we all share and need--intimacy, trust, affection. It's about control of the masses, i believe.
[/b]
(...)
We need, i believe, to use EVERY available resource for not just our survival, but our psychological thriving and legal exercising of all the gifts given us to love!!
Back to the march:
Those brushes with adversity stayed within the confines of the start-off grounds, and from there i mostly got people who asked me to "move along"...[hell,] i should've stayed longer, eh? They'd as soon watch idly as our people beg for mercy--'Fuck' them, "because it feels good."
main march
i first marched with the National Lawyers Guild (or similar lawyers group) without permission, almost all the way through the march; if i was gonna get wasted by hysteria i figured among they would be the best place to get it...
Then i headed back against the current (i had desired to do that from the beginning but thought i might get arrested and give the cops a good reason to kick my ass) all the while using my "yell-cards" to their maximum potential and making the gay sheep uncomfortable.
And then i was zipping in and out; once speaking to a "youth" contingent as they passed. Later, i fucked with the San Fiasco [mainstream gay San Francisco] contingent to avenge the sheep violence many had overwhelmed fellow NAMBLA marchers and i in '92 with. Also, earlier the day before the march, at Dupont Circle, i had bullheadedly shot some comments concerning that spectacle upon some San Fiasco lesbians and one had responded --despite another's dismissive remarks that i wouldn't listen anyway-- that i shouldn't believe that **all** San Fiasco lesbians were in on that!!
At the anti-homo demo of the fundamentalists, i chose to speak WITH the homo[phile] community in countering them--perhaps a show of what was possible if/when they finally realize that we are in actuality much alike in heart... And it was fun to be so manuverable; the gay sheep herds were visibly bewildered and even (if [only] privately) thankful that i turned my bullhorn to our common opponents.
i can say that some didn't dismiss me as a complete nut since one of the parade marshalls felt they could approach me to help direct people when the march was diverted (the official reason being that the end was filling up too much; it was diverted, i later heard, at least three times, owing to a possible reason why i never found the NAMBLA contingent!).
If i was in fact seen as a complete nut would they have even approached me?
At the end [of the march] one of the main Boston Queer Nation activists (who had earlier seemed skeptical of me/boylove) came up and kissed me; WHAT A GUY! Plus, a few gutsy loners --including one from my hometown, where i had "outed" myself at the local gay group-- had come up to me during the march to shake my hand and cheer me on...!!
It was a day of magic and spirituality for me. And i wondered, my belief in a higher power (tho independent of all religious identities) got me thinking that maybe such "magic" is possible when one one is on the path that is most honest to their heart...
It was a total adventure all the way from preparation to finish, and i'm hyped for MORE!!! But my idea is towards nonviolent imaginative nonsilence. Who has the audacity to stand up for who we say we love? Who has the courage to be who they are and leave no stone unturned in the efforts of possibility mongering for this cause in which we all are a part? We've got to prove ourselves, not just consume and let our shared fears get the best of us!!
Think about it. i feel that it is better to be who i am and speak up (somehow) than to let the "cops in my head" block me from even trying! If you cannot march openly, learn to become a NONSILENT ACTIVIST in SOME way that meets your DESIRES!!
[align=center]
i will stand i will seek justice
i will speak i will strike substance
i will be i will live
i will cry but i shall give
i will seek understanding
i will be who i am
i will not be easily damned.
[/align]
Some more phrases and slogans used during the March:
In Country
Morning of the March
Words from the Yell Cards (yelled thru bullhorn)
The Main March
Fasten your seat belts and brace yourself, [because] my "EGO" has not been tamed or lassoed. i had the severe audacity to prance in and out of the "flames" (as the lone warrior Riff Raff, writer of the now defunct "FAGAZINE" calls the hysteria of the day) in d.c. wearing a ten-foot-sized improvized ghost costume in which was concealed an "I AM" [zine]-financed bullhorn [--a.k.a. electronic loudspeaker].
The idea had come from a photo in a library book and i copied it using found objects lashed together with string and attached to a pole and my backpack.
Who acted as my unseen support? Well, certainly NAMBLA had originated it with my being "born again". Though after the euphoria extinguished itself, it was fueled by the high passions of many NAMBLA Bulletin letter writers and fellow "comrades-at-hearts" [like folks at Anarchy magazine, etc.]. [All] the discussions, the correspondence [including] as a one-time NAMBLA assistant corresponding secretary, had inspired me to BREAK FROM the overwhelming paranoia i too hold, and face the possibility of being beaten up and perhaps murdered [or assassinated?] for standing up for who i am.
i came by bus alone, having the good spirit to sit with two special people. The first was Kyle, a young DUDE who's smile style moved me deeply. And who was also notably suffering through parental-induced trial after head-cuffing pain trial. The young dude looked over to me for help and all i could say was: "we all had to go through what you're going through."
i showed my desire to care by the only means at my disposal--my art. And we drew together! His uncle (whom also treated Kyle with disrespect) was for once not prepared when i deliberately (but politely) moved to put more attention in creativity with Kyle. As a kind of 'thank you', Kyle gave me his toy motorcycle and driver, [which] was the "vehicle" that had first drawn us together; it had a copper wheel and i found that strange, and questioned him. But the toy was like a treasure to me, a memory present for a man who knows only a few instances of such genuine caring--especially at a time when there was obviously equal need. (The few instances of such experience come from my "chosen" lifestyle of staying largely away from kids in order to survive this world)
i wore that toy around my neck during my nonsilent action, in his memory!!
The other special person turned out to be a gay man who had appeared on many gaystream [media] after he had taken the city of Cincinatti to court when cops had beaten him up for jaywalking and having AIDS which they found out only after beating him up the first time. He had invited me to stay with him the night we got into d.c. and i did!!
"In country"
i checked out the "Radical Faeries" at their oval-grounds meeting place, by chance seeing them in their full contingent. I had previously met one of them at the infamous "Ann Arbor Hash Bash" back in '89, and then at my first Rainbow Gathering in 1990, when i walked into their camp fully naked!
Quite a creative bunch, and kind, they even agreed to use my bullhorn for an ensuing unconventional pre-rally meeting of playfully-flaunting queer-faeries. Later in the day, a day before the march i had handed out fliers at the lesbian gathering at DuPont Circle. That was a pretty crazy activism i realize, but mostly it was the lesbians who unwittingly asked for what i was carrying.
By eve, i met NAMBLA people who were meeting at the phone-spoken site in the midst of all the gay going-ons; very crowded, but somehow wasn't able to find them the day of the march; too bad, because i suspect the "prole" part of the group would have been happy to have me there confronting that fat lady that showed up when the film crew for the "Chickenhawk" documentary began filming!
i found a place to stay over on the 2nd night (?) with a guy i met at Du Pont Circle earlier; a man who i eventually fully came out to and who gave me a kiss on the lips when we parted 2 days later. i had gone into d.c. unsure of where i could stay but knowing various spaces had been set up for the parade "homeless."
morning of the march
The morning of the march i set up my costume just after exiting the crowded subway as legions of fellow homophiles cheerily moved by, many hinting curiosity. When i got into the [main] grounds, Jesse Jackson was speaking and i had half a notion to go rile things up there a little (i liked Jesse but i'm sure he could use a little heckling), as bullhorns have the capacity to do. Had i ....met a fellow (dark-skinned) nonsilent activist who had marched with me before and said he had come down to join me, perhaps i would've. Instead, i wafted through the herds and sought the front.
Near it, i found Dan Tsang, well-known author of boylove book "The Age Taboo" and he said he took a couple of photos of my costume. Later, it turned out that he had apparently not even taken the pictures, as when i called him repeatedly he stalled and finally said in a dismissive tone that they hadn't turned out...this from a person who i don't think is a novice photographer.
By this time i had already been using my "yell cards" (which helped me read slogans, etc.) through the bullhorn as The "Ghost of Dude-Lovers' Past" haunting the respectability forces of the assimilation-seeking gay community.
i read short [peices] from Jeff Beane's article in CHANGING MEN magazine #23, and significant speak carefully picked from various publications such as John Holt's Escape From Childhood and Anarchy, A Journal of Desire Armed magazine.
Plus the words pocketed from various Bulletin letters and [phrases, thoughts] here and there.
Words from Yell Cards
Here are some of them:
- "What kids need we all need--what we all need kids need!"
- "Freedom can be measured by the number of choices open to an individual; but kids don't yet HAVE the freedom to say both no AND yes!"
- "'Let the kid be a kid' means freeing them to the full spectrum of their desire!"
When i saw a kid contingent i said [stuff] like this:
- "No one is more truly helpless, more completely a victim, than they who can neither choose nor change, nor escape their protectors."
As far as adversity, i met little. i think it had to do with the tactics of surprise that i used--in line with Saul Alinsky's ideas. Few were prepared for the "lone warrior" to step up [alone] and fuck with their mindsets.
There were two exceptions:
1.) The original color art i had with me was torn from [the back of] my backpack and stolen by a lesbian opponent. She obviously hadn't spent any time focusing (or thinking) on it, but as she pranced back to her herd she looked at it and saw that the "dreaded genitals" were funny smiling faces!!!
Anyway, even if the art-fart was torn up in frustration it had done its job--someone had found it significant enough to steal it!
2.) The second incident was when another woman opponent met me alone (with the safety of the bewildered herd behind) and proceeded to attack me verbally after asking if i was a NAMBLA operative (ahh, the need to blur my individuality before striking with Righteousness). i truthfully said no (i haven't yet paid my dues this year and wonder if i should). Well, she still had to retreat with the "dignity" of spiting me in hysterics (else her peer pressure might question her loyalty or something)...
"It's as if I described a pleasant sex experience with a woman and that meant I supported forced sex with all women."--Jason McQuinn of 'Anarchy' magazine.
[/size]
The woman seemed to be on the verge of physical violence thought one older man (who i didn't know) and he trained his speak on telling her that it was not necessary. She reacted that she had the right to speak too; if she had attacked me physically i would have made use of the bullhorn to make sure a lot of people heard what was going down...if that might make a difference when my death made news.
i too find it crazy to even think about facing such irrationality --as people wanting to kill or hurt those they don't agree with-- but i was prepared psychologically as the march in San Fiasco [San Francisco] helped shed any last naivety. Basically, i felt that this was a strong way to "Bash Back" --as the Queer Nation saying goes-- at all the insane lies and misinformation prevalent in our society.
"What right do you have to universalize your own painful experience on all the rest of the world?" --yelling out Jason McQuinn's reply to a letter writer in Anarchy Magazine.
All the rest of the year we cherishers of young human beings must sit through society's orgasmic violence done upon the entire spectrum of older/younger intimacy--so i think once or twice a year --at least-- we gutsy, "EGOTISTICAL" lone warriors can have a GOOD TIME making the sheep gay community uncomfortable!
This is not about "image" and "respectability," FUCK THAT. This is about our peoples' lives being destroyed on all fronts. It's about dudes being systematically divided away from adults in the most important area of all--the humanness we all share and need--intimacy, trust, affection. It's about control of the masses, i believe.
[/b]
(...)
We need, i believe, to use EVERY available resource for not just our survival, but our psychological thriving and legal exercising of all the gifts given us to love!!
Back to the march:
Those brushes with adversity stayed within the confines of the start-off grounds, and from there i mostly got people who asked me to "move along"...[hell,] i should've stayed longer, eh? They'd as soon watch idly as our people beg for mercy--'Fuck' them, "because it feels good."
main march
i first marched with the National Lawyers Guild (or similar lawyers group) without permission, almost all the way through the march; if i was gonna get wasted by hysteria i figured among they would be the best place to get it...
Then i headed back against the current (i had desired to do that from the beginning but thought i might get arrested and give the cops a good reason to kick my ass) all the while using my "yell-cards" to their maximum potential and making the gay sheep uncomfortable.
And then i was zipping in and out; once speaking to a "youth" contingent as they passed. Later, i fucked with the San Fiasco [mainstream gay San Francisco] contingent to avenge the sheep violence many had overwhelmed fellow NAMBLA marchers and i in '92 with. Also, earlier the day before the march, at Dupont Circle, i had bullheadedly shot some comments concerning that spectacle upon some San Fiasco lesbians and one had responded --despite another's dismissive remarks that i wouldn't listen anyway-- that i shouldn't believe that **all** San Fiasco lesbians were in on that!!
At the anti-homo demo of the fundamentalists, i chose to speak WITH the homo[phile] community in countering them--perhaps a show of what was possible if/when they finally realize that we are in actuality much alike in heart... And it was fun to be so manuverable; the gay sheep herds were visibly bewildered and even (if [only] privately) thankful that i turned my bullhorn to our common opponents.
i can say that some didn't dismiss me as a complete nut since one of the parade marshalls felt they could approach me to help direct people when the march was diverted (the official reason being that the end was filling up too much; it was diverted, i later heard, at least three times, owing to a possible reason why i never found the NAMBLA contingent!).
If i was in fact seen as a complete nut would they have even approached me?
At the end [of the march] one of the main Boston Queer Nation activists (who had earlier seemed skeptical of me/boylove) came up and kissed me; WHAT A GUY! Plus, a few gutsy loners --including one from my hometown, where i had "outed" myself at the local gay group-- had come up to me during the march to shake my hand and cheer me on...!!
It was a day of magic and spirituality for me. And i wondered, my belief in a higher power (tho independent of all religious identities) got me thinking that maybe such "magic" is possible when one one is on the path that is most honest to their heart...
It was a total adventure all the way from preparation to finish, and i'm hyped for MORE!!! But my idea is towards nonviolent imaginative nonsilence. Who has the audacity to stand up for who we say we love? Who has the courage to be who they are and leave no stone unturned in the efforts of possibility mongering for this cause in which we all are a part? We've got to prove ourselves, not just consume and let our shared fears get the best of us!!
Think about it. i feel that it is better to be who i am and speak up (somehow) than to let the "cops in my head" block me from even trying! If you cannot march openly, learn to become a NONSILENT ACTIVIST in SOME way that meets your DESIRES!!
[align=center]
i will stand i will seek justice
i will speak i will strike substance
i will be i will live
i will cry but i shall give
i will seek understanding
i will be who i am
i will not be easily damned.
[/align]
Some more phrases and slogans used during the March:
- "experts are not allowed to persue the side of the turth i know of!"
- "I stant to contradict society's forced wisdom and its modern superstition of kid-lovers!"
- "Intense prolonged fear broke you down and prouduced a state of greatly intensified suggestibility--incapacitating you with hysteria--and in this state you have been able to accept authority's pronouncements without question."
- "can you validate kids' full humanity?"
- "i speak up for dialogue LOUD and not cowed."
- "when would-be tyrants treat you to adrenalin-releasing propaganda about the wickedness of your "enemies"--particularly those weak enough to be persecuted--you can follow with enthusiasm the nature of prejudice and fascism. But I caught on! I scrutinize all dogma! Would you dare?"
- "ghosts must haunt when homo[philes] opposing discrimination talk about 'reclaiming' their history and denying untrendy truths."
- "I am the soul-spirit of WALT WHITMAN's full being coming back to hauuunnnt the respectability-seeking homos that would keep from the earth my full self."
- "I am (list of names who were BLs), etc."
"AS FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS, KIDS HAVE ENORMOUS POTENTIAL IN HEALING SOCIETY YET SO MANY ADULTS WISH TO RESTRICT THEM FROM SUCH A POSSIBILITY" - "Everytime you denounce dudelove, 10,000 beautiful dudes ejaculate in their best friends' mouth!" (inspired by the BL poet, Antler!!)
For when groups attack: - "Let's take a critical look at this hysteria here---hmmmm, quite incapacitated by their moralism it seems to me!"
- "As more people understand how frustration and anger can lead to scapegoating and prejudice they'll be less apt to blame entire groups for their problems."
- "To the best of your knowledge you know THE TRUTH about all child abuse. To the best of my6 knowledge i've found a side of the truth you've overlooked. Why is your truth more equal than mine?"
- "i'm standing up to say that it is POSSIBLE to find all races, genders, shapes and ages fully humanly interesting and beautiful!"
- "I think you are merely marionettes on the dancing strings of the oligarchy of assorted experts. Please make your judgements on individuals not entire groups!"
- "kid/adult sexuality, a bond between two people. It's about intimacy, it's a part of the human spirit of love!"
- "hysteria merchandizers appeal only to your weaknesses, never to your potential strength!" "Man/boy love is equal to man/man and boy/boy love!"
- "I stand to contradict society's forced wisdom and its modern superstition of kid lovers!"