Hi from hopeful MAP

[Hopeful]

Just wanted to introduce myself and say thanks for being a voice of support for MAPs.

I've struggle with accepting my attraction (which does go as young as nepi) for some time now, often just wishing it would go away. But it hasn't, and I'm starting to accept that it won't. I guess I'd consider myself pro-c. Maybe just because my attractions don't make any sense to me if they fundamentally can never be acted on. A bit like the "hate the sin, love the sinner" argument that gets used with gays. If desire to be intimate with children is fundamentally wrong and hateful, how can I not be wrong and hated myself?

I debated taking the screen name Hopeful or Wishful. Sometimes I feel like real progress in MAP acceptance seems like wishful thinking. But I want to remain hopeful that the world *can* become accepting of MAPs, and I can poke my head out of another closet.

Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling.

Hopefully I'll check in somewhat regularly.

[Fragment]

I'm glad you're still hopeful. We need a lot of hope. But we also need an even larger amount of hard work. I agree with you when you say " my attractions don't make any sense to me if they fundamentally can never be acted on".

I know some anti-c people are able to be self-loving, but I think anti-c would cause me to be self-hating.

[Phossu]

Welcome, Hopeful. Glad to have you here. I too am hopeful for real progress on MAP acceptance, I think it is possible. I also think that significant strides may be made in the coming decades, but maybe I'm just being naive. I hope that by participating in the community I can contribute in some way to a growing movement. We need to be seen and better understood before anyone can accept us.

I'm not really a fan of contact labels (there has been recent discussion here on this topic), but I do think of myself as "vaguely anti-c" or "contact skeptical". I don't think that my attractions are fundamentally wrong or hateful, I just think there is a higher risk with adult-minor relationships as opposed to peer aged relationships. I don't see this as black or white, I am willing to say that there are adult-minor relationships that can be perfectly healthy and good. I just want to prevent harm, so I am taking a position of extreme caution here.

Looking forward to hearing more of your perspective!

[Joanne7315]

Hi Hopeful, and hopeful we should be. I have come out of the other side of the darkness vortex and full accept myself as a Nepi (amongst others). I think it is about loving yourself and the rest of the world be damned. That is easier said than done but these forums really are so helpful on the road to self realisation. Happy to chat anytime.

[Hopeful]

I know acceptance has been a long road for me. It's almost a cliche, but I didn't choose to be a Nepi, or even a MAP. Seriously, how can anyone think someone would choose to be one of the most hated people in society. Murder someone? Yeah, that's bad but it's nothing compared to just the thoughcrime of wanting to love a young child.

I'm not super religious, more just spiritual, but if I'm made in God's image (as I'm told), what does it say if I'm an evil monster? I have to believe I was made as I am for some good purpose. Otherwise nothing really makes sense.

I can't help but think a lot of the attitudes toward MAPs, at least in U.S. society, stem from early puritanism about sexuality in general. I might start a thread about that sometime...

Thanks for all the support. Just good to know we're not alone.

[ZeroXJoker]

Welcome aboard Hopeful. Accepting what we are isn't always easy or straight forward. I didn't understand I was a non-exclusive MAP until my mid 20's but I think my journey started around 15-17. Only about five years ago did I finally accept me being bisexual (I'm a BL and GL as my attractions). None of us chose our attractions just as someone doesn't choose to be LGBT+ its what we are born with. Now why were born this way I don't know. I'm an atheist so I don't believe in any type of supreme being so I don't have an answer why we are become a MAP or why some people are born gay.