Hi everyone!

[ForgetMeNot]

Hi, I've been around fellow MAPs on different platforms before, but have never been on a directly MAP focused forum so far - I found my way here after having a chat with Jim over on Bluesky. So, if you're reading this, Jim… Hi, I'm here now! This place seems pretty nice, from what I can tell so far. I've had opportunities to view the whole "contact" debate from several different angles over the past few years, and I'm tired of the amount of people that are trying to push for puritanism and stigmatization, but also simultaneously happy to remark that I've been noticing a positive development around my own parts of the community so far - people letting go of their urge to denounce anyone who doesn't label the way they want them to, being more open to discussion and actually seeking to try and understand where people are actually coming from… It makes me happy, not gonna lie.

What else is there to say about me… I like music and art, always open to recommendations of good music to listen to. If there's anything else you're curious about, feel free to ask and if it's not too personal maybe I'll give an answer.

Oh, and… how do custom icons work on here? Do I have to reach a certain rank in order to be able to set one? (I haven't been on any forums in a while, so sorry in advance in case I'm ever asking something there's an overly obvious answer to in plain sight.)

[Jim Burton]

Hi, ForgetMeNot. I just enabled avatars for you, and you should be able to post without approval.

This is a new forum and relatively quiet - maybe similar to B4U-ACT in terms of activity levels, but a few fold less activity than VoA or Virped.

As I see it, 2016-2020 (when I was not there to witness it), there was an implicit expectation (gleaned from Virped) that MAP-awareness efforts were to distance and deprioritize any debate of consent stance, or laws related to this. MAPs were solely for harm-reduction and counter-stigma.

That is certainly how I felt entering the community in 2021. Now I learn the "heads" of anti-c Twitter had already been struggling with two pro-c individuals named Chizu and Drugar in 2020, so I must have been very offensive to them. But that time (2020/21) was when they started to become open to the idea of having open pro-c's in the community.

I'm not sure if this trend is continuing, and it appears to be somewhat expedient. I'm guessing it relates to how many radqueers there are, and will continue somewhat if some place like Bluesky becomes a stable home for us, and the echo chambers of Fediverse continue to fade into obscurity.

[ForgetMeNot]

Hi Jim, thank you for giving me avatar and posting permissions, that's very nice of you.

From what I can tell, that trend does seem to be continuing - I'm in touch with a few anti-contacts here and there and the general mentality seems to be shifting towards wanting to understand others, rather than assuming ill will. Not saying that everyone is entirely free of internalized stigma yet, to be fair. There are still a lot of people calling action of any kind "offense" rather than acknowledging that, just as much as attraction does not inherently equal action, so does legality not inherently equal morality. (I did read the rules before registering, I'm hoping that my wording is safe enough to be posted on here, though feel free to let me know if I'm ever taking it too far.)
People like those individuals over on Bluesky who were calling MU out over what appears to have been nothing but baseless accusations still exist here and there and are hoping to get their way, but they're growing more desperate from what I can tell; their influence is fading as the rest of the community is starting to pay attention to the things that actually matter. I'm trying to do my part to remind them to think for themselves every now and then, it seems to be appreciated by a lot of them as well.

Also, apologies if these ever turn into too much of a ramble, I just got a lot on my mind a lot of the time.

I feel like possibly talking a little more explicitly about some of my thoughts some time, though that'll be wiser to do in DMs rather than in any kind of public post.

In any case, I think I'll have a look around on here for now, gonna read some conversations and everything. Thanks again for inviting me here!

[Jim Burton]

Any help is very much appreciated. The best we can do is get them to read the source material, rather than the views of one community member or the other.

Basically, we are keeping the tone of this forum SFW, so people can get angry at us for existing, but don't have any more excuses for scandalizing us or shutting us down.

[NotTrueToMyself]

Welcome ForgetMeNot!