*waves sheepishly* the truth is, ive always been this way

[Lifelongmaplady]

Hi. Im Lucy. Im 43 years old, transgender, and have been running from this most inconvenient truth since i was a young child myself: i find 4-8 year old girls to be the pinnacle of beauty and desirability.

About me: I Grew up in a single parent household, my younger sister and i were left to our own devices, and for years, every chance we got we fooled around.

This lasted until, you guessed it, she was about 8, and started having more interest in her own friendships and hobbies and less interest in dressing me up and playing the “kissing game” whenever no one was around; once she had her own community i was old news. She stopped even being my friend really.

It was my first real heartbreak. I cried and cried. I was lonely in a way i have never fully recovered from. It still hurts truthfully, and im certain those makeout bonding sessions burned my attraction into me forever like a cattle brand.

My mom knew about our little games but pretended not to? She was avoidant in the extreme unless she needed me to do chores or bring her wine, or…. Other things. I was on my own.

I tried boy scouts, but it didnt click - because well, i wasnt actually a boy. I wanted to be in Girl Scouts like my sister… I didnt fully piece together my gender identity for another 20 years, but my attractions are frozen in time: its 1988 forever, and giggling pretty girls in sundresses still make me ache with longing and envy and love and yes, desire.

I hate it. I feel like an absolute alien in this world. A stranger in a land that grows more strange by the day.

My sister doesnt know i feel this way. My mom is gone. Im on my own with two cats and a head full of wistful memories and attractions i cant run away from no matter how hard i have tried. So im trying this instead.

Hi Im Lucy, and im exclusively romantically and sexually attracted to 4-8 year old girls. The love of my life was my little sister, and the day we play acted out getting married and then fooled around was the best day of my life.

Fuck thats grim.

Thanks for having me.

[Lifelongmaplady]

i dream of a world where we’re free to fall in love with the apples of our eye… where you can play minecraft and roblox and wrestle with a cute boy who makes your heart flutter, and i can braid the hair of a pale blond girl while we talk about how dumb boys are, sing along to Taylor Swift and practice kissing while she bounces on my knee.

Some day.


Thank you for your comment and the warm welcome.

[Pegasus]

Hi. Im Lucy. Im 43 years old, transgender, and have been running from this most inconvenient truth since i was a young child myself: i find 4-8 year old girls to be the pinnacle of beauty and desirability.

About me: I Grew up in a single parent household, my younger sister and i were left to our own devices, and for years, every chance we got we fooled around.

This lasted until, you guessed it, she was about 8, and started having more interest in her own friendships and hobbies and less interest in dressing me up and playing the “kissing game” whenever no one was around; once she had her own community i was old news. She stopped even being my friend really.

It was my first real heartbreak. I cried and cried. I was lonely in a way i have never fully recovered from. It still hurts truthfully, and im certain those makeout bonding sessions burned my attraction into me forever like a cattle brand.

My mom knew about our little games but pretended not to? She was avoidant in the extreme unless she needed me to do chores or bring her wine, or…. Other things. I was on my own.

I tried boy scouts, but it didnt click - because well, i wasnt actually a boy. I wanted to be in Girl Scouts like my sister… I didnt fully piece together my gender identity for another 20 years, but my attractions are frozen in time: its 1988 forever, and giggling pretty girls in sundresses still make me ache with longing and envy and love and yes, desire.

I hate it. I feel like an absolute alien in this world. A stranger in a land that grows more strange by the day.

My sister doesnt know i feel this way. My mom is gone. Im on my own with two cats and a head full of wistful memories and attractions i cant run away from no matter how hard i have tried. So im trying this instead.

Hi Im Lucy, and im exclusively romantically and sexually attracted to 4-8 year old girls. The love of my life was my little sister, and the day we play acted out getting married and then fooled around was the best day of my life.

Fuck thats grim.

Thanks for having me.

Hi Lucy, you're not alone here, everyone here has their stories, although we only communicate by text, that doesn't make it impossible to talk about our feelings and desires. I'm a nepi, a GL, but not exclusive, but I'm expanding my perception to girls from 6 to 9 years old, and honestly, they can be so desirable and beautiful. Feel free to vent and get in touch. Peace and love.

[MAP romance God]

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story!

Don't give up! Don't let the statistics and scaremongering against MAPs make you convince yourself that your dreams are impossible!

And, if it makes you feel better, I missed all my kissing games and doctor playing chances as a kid.

I remember liking my neighbor, who was only a year older than me. In hindsight, I can tell she was into me as well and even initiated some naughty games with me sometimes. I remember us daring each other to pull our shorts and underwear down, but with one hand covering the genitals, but at one point she told me she could see a bit of mine and I was so shy and nervous I just left the game ;_;