Why do MAPs have to be judgy about other's AoA?

[Fragment]

people who have made a terrible mistake

I have two problems with this phrasing.

The first is in calling it a mistake. I think it is important that people take accountability for their decisions. A mistake is a slip of the mind. An accident. My case might be said to be a little more of a mistake due to my bipolar disorder distorting my emotions and thought process. But even so, I think it's important that we don't minimize our responsibility by calling choices "mistakes".

The second problem I have is calling it terrible. It might have terrible consequences (for all involved) due to sociogenic secondary harm, but the acts themselves are rarely terrible. Unless you are talking about actual terrible things like Danny Heinrich's abduction, molestation and murder of Jacob Wetterling. But those cases are so rare that they shape the very laws we're talking about (in extremely disproportionate, malformed ways).

I much prefer the term "bad choice" to "terrible mistake". It both shows a willingness to take accountability, without buying into the hysteria that an adolescent boy receiving a hand job is having his soul eternally murdered.


I'd also like to add another comment I shared earlier on VoA:

Part of the Pro-Reform platform and way of thinking is that it’s necessary for society to see MAPs who have offended in a different light if they are ever to see MAPs who haven’t offended differently.

If NOMAPs are seen as constantly struggling to stop themselves from doing something horrifically soul crushing, they’ll always be seen as a threat.

Putting adult-minor sexual contact (AMSC) in context, pointing out that it might be inappropriate, but it need not be the big traumatic experience that society makes, it is part of destigmatization.

But I'm drifting off-topic.

[Aspire6]

I much prefer the term "bad choice" to "terrible mistake". It both shows a willingness to take accountability, without buying into the hysteria that an adolescent boy receiving a hand job is having his soul eternally murdered.

That's a much better way to describe it, I'm still fairly new to these kinds of communities so I'm slowly learning the more accepted terminologies. Apologies for that!

I'd also like to add another comment I shared earlier on VoA:

Part of the Pro-Reform platform and way of thinking is that it’s necessary for society to see MAPs who have offended in a different light if they are ever to see MAPs who haven’t offended differently.

If NOMAPs are seen as constantly struggling to stop themselves from doing something horrifically soul crushing, they’ll always be seen as a threat.

Putting adult-minor sexual contact (AMSC) in context, pointing out that it might be inappropriate, but it need not be the big traumatic experience that society makes, it is part of destigmatization.

As for this, I agree entirely in this message. I don't really have anything more to add to it, but it's just worded right and sits well with me. Thank you for this.

[Bookshelf]

Is an offense while is considered illegal not because is wrong. Love is not abuse.

When I say offense, I usually mean something convicted in a court of law.

I think care needs to be taken to not conflate illegal with harmful.

[Lightie Twinkle]

Never said love is abuse, there are a few young girls I know myself in real life who I love a lot! There's a deep desire to keep them protected and happy all at costs, that is. I just love them a lot, like very very much!

It should never be considered abuse to be attracted to/love a child, or children in general. There is no harm done and thus no abuse.

I agree with you.

[PinkPawn]

One good thing about BC is any animosity they may have towards you is baked into the cake. Mu posts get a load of angry responses, for example, but we know that BC and PCMA are the kind of places you learn what people really think, and attract those with strong opinions/drive out moderate and disinterested individuals. So we post there.

I'm sorry, not trying to hijack the thread, but what are BC and PCMA?

[Jim Burton]

Boychat.org

https://wiki.yesmap.net/wiki/Help:Joining_PCMA_chat