The Boy/Girl Thread!

[WavesInEternity]

I can attest to the girls side of it. If you show them respect and are at least interested in what they're doing as well as listen to them, they will quickly become interested in showing or telling you the next thing they did over and over again. It's the best! It takes time, but you can build that friendship and be a good role-model for them as they grow up.

Keeping boundaries is good too, I like to pretend there's a parent watching at all times even if I'm alone with a little girl. I know I wouldn't do anything anyway, but I just like redundancy there.

I can attest to that too. In my experience, the two most important—and interdependent—aspects of getting a little girl to like you are 1) give them attention,
show them you're interested in them, listen... if you open your ears and your heart to them, they feel it and they usually reciprocate; 2) enter their world, don't try to push your own onto them... try to understand their inner universe, to connect with their imagination and their emotions.

That reminds me of the many times I read a story to little girls I liked. More than once, I ended up reading a book to an adorable little girl, or two, or even three, in a bed, me in the middle with the girls next to me, cuddling me spontaneously. Those were awesome times.

I'm really good at connecting with little girls (children in general, actually) and respecting their boundaries, but terrible at respecting non-progressive parents' boundaries. I sometimes let little girls be too cuddly with me, because they very much tend to be and goodness I love it so much. Most problematically, probably because of my autism, I don't really have a filter when it comes to discussing all sorts of "off-limits" topics that little girls surprisingly love to hear about, whether that's politics, my near-death experiences, drugs, or sex.

[PorcelainLark]

You do at least need to have some kind of personality.

That's me out, then.

Just be that one adult who stands out a bit, and responds well to attempts at building a friendship.

I don't know, I think I'd still prefer not standing out over having friends.

If you show them respect and are at least interested in what they're doing as well as listen to them, they will quickly become interested in showing or telling you the next thing they did over and over again.

There was a neighbor's granddaughter who used to seem to like me, but I kind of get the feeling people warn their kids to avoid me because I give off weird vibes.

Keeping boundaries is good too, I like to pretend there's a parent watching at all times even if I'm alone with a little girl. I know I wouldn't do anything anyway, but I just like redundancy there.

I tend to assume kids potentially tell their parents about anything, so it doesn't matter if a parent is physically present, they can still easily know what's going on. Not that I'd do anything either, it's not worth it.

I can attest to that too. In my experience, the two most important—and interdependent—aspects of getting a little girl to like you are 1) give them attention, show them you're interested in them, listen... if you open your ears and your heart to them, they feel it and they usually reciprocate; 2) enter their world, don't try to push your own onto them... try to understand their inner universe, to connect with their imagination and their emotions.

I don't think there's anything else I'd prefer to be doing! If I could give my undivided attention to a girl, I would gladly give it.

That reminds me of the many times I read a story to little girls I liked. More than once, I ended up reading a book to an adorable little girl, or two, or even three, in a bed, me in the middle with the girls next to me, cuddling me spontaneously. Those were awesome times.

Sounds really nice, though personally I could never let that happen. Although it reflects badly on me, my fear outweighs concern for the feelings of girls. It's probably for the best that I avoid them, rather than ending up hurting them from rejecting them because of being scared.

I sometimes let little girls be too cuddly with me, because they very much tend to be and goodness I love it so much. Most problematically, probably because of my autism, I don't really have a filter when it comes to discussing all sorts of "off-limits" topics that little girls surprisingly love to hear about, whether that's politics, my near-death experiences, drugs, or sex.

Sounds blissful, not to have to self-censor. It hurts my heart how much I have to compartmentalize things.

[WavesInEternity]

PorcelainLark, that last post of yours really shows how totally different our personalities are (as suggested by that Big Five test).

I'm the kind of guy who stands out in a large crowd and will frequently take all the space in a room if I'm allowed to speak. I'm instantly recognizable from afar and revel in my uniqueness and outright eccentricity. I never self-censor unless it's absolutely necessary, and even then it's with great effort. I don't compartmentalize at all: everyone knows me as the same person.

Children love how unfiltered and eccentric I am. Parents generally hate it. ("Tell me more about that time you nearly killed yourself when you were 11" isn't something they like to hear their girl say to the strange man.)

[Fragment]

I wish I was still able to contribute to this thread. Likely never again.

BLR has seen me interact with boys. He's referred jokingly to the "sociopathic" ease at which I build rapport with them. Even though "grooming" has never been my intent, I can well understand why I might be accused of it. I'm loved and adored, just by being myself. A "myself" I can only ever really be around boys. Around adults the mask goes on, and while I can play the game well enough (I guess they'd call that "grooming adults") I never feel myself.

[BLueRibbon]

Porcelain, is there any way you can project a fake personality to make yourself more attractive to children? I am not naturally an outgoing person, but I'm extremely intense and I can somehow project that into 'fake outgoing'. Surely there's something you could do?

[BLueRibbon]

The boys wanted to play again today, but I wasn't able to run around with them due to a minor health issue. Instead, I promised them I would meet them this weekend, something in which many of them expressed interest.

I did sit and talk with them while they were resting, doing some other work while they were running around, and then two of them disappeared only to come back with a snack I'd told them I liked, and saying "thank you for playing with us". They are so damn sweet.

[Aspire6]

Hopefully there's a friendly BL living nearby!

(so it mentions you)

Unsure if there is one, I'm out to nobody in my life and don't know of anyone who is a MAP near me. I'm sure there's gotta be one or two others at least given statistics, but they are likely also in hiding. I'll watch the boys a little and comment some of the funny things they do!

Wanted to note some fun boy-things I saw today as I said I'd watch them a little more. Some of the young boys near me were role-playing as Pokemon trainers and that was really fun to watch. Kids imaginations are quite something! They were having a lot of fun and kept making up rules as they went because one of the younger boys kept doing whatever they wanted to win the "game".

[PorcelainLark]

Porcelain, is there any way you can project a fake personality to make yourself more attractive to children? I am not naturally an outgoing person, but I'm extremely intense and I can somehow project that into 'fake outgoing'. Surely there's something you could do?

I was joking, I have a personality. Really, I think it's the paranoia that's the main issue. I rarely even look in the direction of girls. For example, today, there was a girl and her mother nearby where I was sitting; I looked away when they came closer to my field of vision.

Despite thinking it's prejudiced to think a MAP should avoid interacting with a child because they're at risk of abusing them, and despite my pro-contact sympathies, I prefer to keep my distance from children. In the first place to try to avoid being outed or making people suspect I'm a MAP, but in the second place so that it's less trouble if I am eventually outed since if I never spend time alone with children, parents in the community I live won't have as much reason to panic.

If societal attitudes changed, I'd have no moral issue with spending time around girls, I'd just prefer to be able to be honest about why. In the mean time, maybe I'll try building a chatbot for a companion.

[BLueRibbon]

Hopefully there's a friendly BL living nearby!
Wanted to note some fun boy-things I saw today as I said I'd watch them a little more. Some of the young boys near me were role-playing as Pokemon trainers and that was really fun to watch. Kids imaginations are quite something! They were having a lot of fun and kept making up rules as they went because one of the younger boys kept doing whatever they wanted to win the "game".

Sounds cute! You should try to get involved in their game.

Porcelain, is there any way you can project a fake personality to make yourself more attractive to children? I am not naturally an outgoing person, but I'm extremely intense and I can somehow project that into 'fake outgoing'. Surely there's something you could do?

I was joking, I have a personality. Really, I think it's the paranoia that's the main issue. I rarely even look in the direction of girls. For example, today, there was a girl and her mother nearby where I was sitting; I looked away when they came closer to my field of vision.

Despite thinking it's prejudiced to think a MAP should avoid interacting with a child because they're at risk of abusing them, and despite my pro-contact sympathies, I prefer to keep my distance from children. In the first place to try to avoid being outed or making people suspect I'm a MAP, but in the second place so that it's less trouble if I am eventually outed since if I never spend time alone with children, parents in the community I live won't have as much reason to panic.

If societal attitudes changed, I'd have no moral issue with spending time around girls, I'd just prefer to be able to be honest about why. In the mean time, maybe I'll try building a chatbot for a companion.

This is so depressing, a true condemnation of the crushing hysteria of the western world! You are capable of interacting with children without assaulting them or being assaulted by a crazed mob. Do not internalize their bullshit!

[PorcelainLark]

This is so depressing, a true condemnation of the crushing hysteria of the western world! You are capable of interacting with children without assaulting them or being assaulted by a crazed mob. Do not internalize their bullshit!

Given this story, I'm not so sure.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/c ... 73439.html

I'd just rather not have to deal with any pressure. As much as I'd enjoy having some young friends, I don't think I could relax.

“Just because you're paranoid
Don't mean they're not after you.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6XBlkvTmv8