WIP: Novel with good pedophilic/korephilic representaion

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Julia
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WIP: Novel with good pedophilic/korephilic representaion

Post by Julia »

I'm currently writing a very long novel that will span over multiple volumes, and while I won't reveal too much about the overarching plot just yet, I can share that it centres around a diverse group of individuals who face oppression and discrimination due to their unique identities. In the first act, they embark on a quest to prevent a war. As they journey through various villages, towns, kingdoms, republics, and settlements, they encounter a wide array of social norms and governance structures. Along the way, they challenge and combat oppression, discrimination, prejudice, and stigma to the best of their abilities. One of the goals of the novel is to encourage the reader to think critically and explore their own conditioning.

The two main characters, Lyra and Enola, develop a korephilic relationship during their quest. When they first met, Lyra was 26 and Enola was just 8. Enola had escaped an abusive upper-class household and spent some time living on the streets. Initially, she found refuge with a group of unhoused people, where she met Oli, a member of a race of anthropomorphic ferrets. Oli in particular kept an eye out for Enola, lifting her spirits with his humour and captivating stories.

One fateful night, while they were asleep, a troop of state agents raided their group. Enola managed to escape, but the chaos left her alone and struggling once more. One afternoon, desperate for food, she attempted to steal bread from a market stall. Her actions did not go unnoticed, and she found herself being chased by a state agent. Just as she was fleeing, Lyra, returning home from the market, witnessed the scene unfold. As Enola dashed past her, Lyra called out, urging her to take refuge in an alley. Using her body to shield Enola, she successfully concealed her from the agent, who ran past, oblivious to their presence.

Once the agent's footsteps faded into the distance, Lyra turned to check on Enola and was struck by the girl’s condition. Here are some bits from a draft describing her at that moment:
The girl’s hair, tangled and unkempt, whipped behind her like a dark flag of defiance, while her clothes—tattered and stained—spoke of a life filled with hardship.
Her hair was a fiery orange, wild and unkempt, framing her face like a vibrant halo. Lyra noticed the constellation of freckles dusting her cheeks—small yet prominent, a stark contrast to the grime that clung to her skin. She looked so fragile, as if a strong gust of wind could have swept her away. The knee-length dress she wore was mouse grey, its fabric torn and dirty, and the pattern of white, line-drawn flowers seemed to tell a story of beauty long forgotten.
Lyra’s heart ached as she took in the sight of the girl’s worn-out sandals, the calf straps barely holding them in place. They were scuffed and battered, much like the girl herself. She looked ill and malnourished, her skin slightly grimy, revealing that tears had recently rolled down her cheeks, leaving trails of dampness that glistened in the faint light. Scrapes marred her knees and arms, evidence of her desperate flight, and Lyra felt a surge of protectiveness wash over her.
Overwhelmed by a maternal instinct, Lyra felt an irresistible urge to care for this girl. Upon learning that Enola had no home to return to, she decided to take her in. As they walked home, they began to learn more about each other. Once they arrived, Lyra provided Enola with food, medicine, a bath, and clean clothes. She tended to her wounds and offered her bed, the only one in her home. From that moment on, Enola became a part of Lyra’s life, with Lyra embracing the role of a loving caregiver. A significant portion of the beginning of the story unfolds in this setting.

Lyra runs a medicine shop and also produces and sells illicit substances. Coincidentally, Oli is one of her regular customers, and when he visits the shop, the reunion between Enola and Oli is both awkward and heartwarming. About a year after Lyra and Enola met, their town gets invaded, forcing them to flee. Upon reaching the next town, they encounter a bardess named Hikari, who eventually joins their party. Much later in the story, they cross paths with Oli again, who has also managed to escape, and he joins their group as well.

As time goes by, Lyra and Enola develop deeper feelings for each other, and two years after they first met, they get into a relationship—Lyra being 28 and Enola 10. However, because of their same gender and age difference, which are both against the law in many of the places they visit, their relationship puts them in constant danger for hate crimes, even more discrimination, and trouble with government agencies.

Here is a little summary of their relationship
Enola & Lyra

Enola and Lyra first met on a cold autumn evening. Enola was being chased by a state agent after she had stolen some food. Lyra helped her escape by hiding her until the state agent was gone. Afterwards, Lyra took Enola home with her out of of harm's way. Enola was in bad condition; she was somewhat ill, malnourished, wounded, grimy, her clothes were ripped and dirty, and her hair a mess.

When Enola first meets Lyra, she is in a state of desperation and fear. The cold autumn day mirrors her internal turmoil, and her physical condition reflects her struggles for survival. Lyra, on the other hand, is immediately struck by Enola's vulnerability. Her instinct to help is driven by her own experiences of loss and discrimination, making her empathetic to Enola's plight. This initial encounter sets the stage for a bond built on mutual understanding and compassion.

Lyra's decision to hide Enola from the state agent is a pivotal moment that establishes a foundation of trust. Enola, who has learned to be wary of others due to her past, finds herself drawn to Lyra's kindness and bravery. This act of protection not only saves Enola but also ignites a sense of hope within her. For Lyra, helping Enola provides a sense of purpose that she has been lacking since her father's death, marking the beginning of a transformative relationship.

As Lyra takes Enola under her wing, their relationship evolves into a caregiver dynamic. Lyra's nurturing instincts come to the forefront as she tends to Enola's physical and emotional needs. She provides not only food, shelter, and medical attention but also emotional support, helping Enola heal from her past traumas. This nurturing role allows Lyra to channel her grief into something positive, fostering a sense of responsibility and connection.

Enola's presence in Lyra's life acts as a catalyst for her own healing. As she cares for Enola, Lyra begins to confront her own struggles with PTSD and substance use. The bond they share becomes a source of strength for both characters, allowing them to navigate their respective traumas together. Enola's resilience inspires Lyra to find her own strength, while Lyra's support helps Enola feel safe and valued for the first time.

As they spend more time together, Enola and Lyra develop a deep emotional intimacy. They share their fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities, creating a safe space for each other. Enola, who has always felt like an outsider, finds solace in Lyra's acceptance and understanding. Lyra, in turn, discovers a sense of joy and purpose in their relationship, which helps her cope with her grief.

The transition from a caregiver relationship to romantic feelings is gradual and organic. Enola's admiration for Lyra's strength and kindness deepens into love, while Lyra's protective instincts evolve into a romantic bond. This shift is marked by tender moments, shared laughter, and quiet conversations that reveal their growing affection for one another. However, this budding romance is complicated by the societal norms and prejudices they face, adding layers of tension to their relationship.

The relationship between Lyra and Enola is both considered immoral and against the republic's law because of the difference in social background (despite Enola having abandoned her status), same-sex, and Enola being a minor. The first one is only frowned upon rather than illegal, but the other two are against the law.

As their relationship deepens, Enola and Lyra must confront the harsh realities of the world around them. Their love is deemed immoral by the republic's laws, and they face discrimination not only for their same-sex relationship but also for their differing social backgrounds and their age difference. This external conflict forces them to navigate their feelings in a society that seeks to tear them apart.

When they first meet, Lyra is 26 and Enola 8. One year later, they embark on their mission, initially out of necessity without a real goal other than safety, though the quest soon reveals itself as they meet their first companion. Their relationship begins to evolve roughly a year later.

The challenges they face ultimately strengthen their bond. They become each other's allies in the fight against oppression, learning to stand up for their love and for the marginalised people around them. Their relationship serves as a beacon of hope and resilience, inspiring their companions to question societal norms and embrace solidarity.

Enola and Lyra's relationship becomes a turning point for the entire group. Their love challenges the other characters to confront their own prejudices and biases, fostering a sense of unity among the marginalised identities represented in the party. As they navigate the complexities of their relationship, the group learns the importance of acceptance, understanding, and the fight against authoritarianism.

The dynamics within the group shift as they rally around Enola and Lyra, creating a supportive environment that encourages open dialogue about love, identity, and societal norms. The characters' individual journeys become intertwined, leading to collective growth and a deeper understanding of the themes of the story.
I have put considerable effort into developing detailed character summaries which I will add for additional context. While I am still in the early stages of brainstorming ideas, world-building, and character development, I have written two drafts of scenes where Lyra and Enola reveal their deeper feelings to other party members—specifically to Hikari and Oli. These drafts may undergo significant changes as I still need to write the story leading up to those moments, but I have crafted them with narrative depth, including the characters' thoughts and feelings, as well as descriptive language and sensory details to create vivid imagery.

Lyra's character summary
Enola's character summary
Hikari's character summary
Oli's character summary

I welcome any feedback that could help me improve my work. Below are the two drafts of the coming-out scenes—first with Hikari, and then with Oli. I am also in the process of developing more characters for the party, each with their own unique reactions to these revelations. One character, in particular, will betray them when they confide in him.
Coming out to Hikari

​The three friends were gathered around a small campfire in a secluded clearing, the stars twinkling like diamonds scattered across a velvet sky. The air was cool, carrying the earthy scent of damp leaves and the faint crackle of the fire, which danced and flickered, casting warm shadows on their faces. Lyra sat cross-legged, her heart racing as she glanced at Enola, who was nervously fidgeting with a piece of grass, her fingers trembling slightly. Hikari leaned back against a sturdy tree, her lute resting beside her, sensing the tension in the air.
Her heart pounding, Lyra took a deep breath.
“Hikari, there’s something we need to talk about. It’s… it’s important.”
Intrigued, Hikari sat up, her eyes sparkling in the firelight.
“Oh? You both look serious. What’s on your minds?”
Enola glanced at Lyra, then back at Hikari.
“It’s about us…” she said, her voice barely above a whisper, “about me and Lyra.”
Her voice trembled slightly, a mix of fear and hope.
“We’ve been feeling something… different.”
Hikari smiled encouragingly, her warmth enveloping them like a soft blanket.
“Different how? You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Nervously, Lyra ran a hand through her hair, her thoughts racing.
“It’s just… over the past year, I’ve realised that my feelings for Enola have grown deeper.” She paused, her heart racing. “I care for her so much, and it’s more than just… being a protector or a caregiver. I love her.”
As the words left her lips, a rush of vulnerability washed over Lyra. The fire crackled, and for a moment, she felt exposed, as if the flames were revealing her inmost self. She glanced at Enola, whose eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and her heart swelled with a mix of fear and exhilaration.
“I love her too, Hikari.” Enola said blushing, her eyes wide open, her voice trembling. After taking a deep breath, she continued with a steadier voice, “I’ve been scared to admit it, but it’s true. She’s been my anchor, my safe place. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
Lyra watched as Enola’s cheeks flushed, the firelight illuminating her delicate features. The warmth of the flames mirrored the warmth blossoming in Lyra’s chest, a feeling she had longed for but feared to embrace.
“Oh, wow!” Hikari exclaimed as she leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “That’s beautiful!”
Gesturing passionately, she continued, “I always thought you two were adorable together. I could always see the way you look at each other. It’s like you’re in your own little world.”
Lyra felt a wave of relief wash over her, the tension in her shoulder easing as Hikari’s enthusiasm enveloped them. The night air felt lighter, filled with the promise of acceptance and understanding.
“You really think so?” asked Lyra, relieved but still anxious, her voice trembling. “I mean, it’s complicated. The world we live in… it doesn’t accept us. Our age difference, gender, social background... there are so many reasons why this could be seen as wrong.
“But love isn’t wrong, Lyra!” Hikari cheerfully affirmed, her voice unwavering. “You both deserve to be happy,” she went on, gesturing passionately, her eyes fierce, “no matter what anyone else thinks. Your love is real, and it’s beautiful. I’ll always support you.”
Lyra’s heart filled with joy at Hikari’s words, a warmth spreading through her like the fire’s glow. She felt a sense of belonging, a connection that transcended the fears that had once held her back.
Enola smiled shyly.
“You really mean that?” she asked in a soft voice. “Even with everything that could happen if people found out?”
Hikari nodded vigorously, her expression earnest.
“Absolutely! I’d defend you both to anyone who dares to say otherwise. Love is love, and it’s worth fighting for.”
She paused, her expression softening.
“Besides, you two make each other stronger. That’s what matters.”
Lyra’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, the firelight reflecting the depth of her gratitude. She felt a rush of emotion, a mixture of relief and joy, as she realised that they were not alone in this fight.
“Thank you, Hikari.” said Lyra, tears welling in her eyes, her voice thick with emotion. “Your support means everything to us. I was so afraid of what you might think.”
“You don’t have to be afraid with me.” Hikari replied grinning, her joy infectious. She picked up her lute, her fingers dancing over the strings.
“In fact, I think I’ll write a song about this! A celebration of your love! Maybe I’ll even make it a duet, so you can sing it together.” she said playfully.
As Hikari strummed a few playful chords, the sound filled the clearing, mingling with the crackling of the fire. Lyra felt a surge of warmth and affection for her friend, the music wrapping around them like a comforting embrace. The night felt alive with possibility, and she couldn’t help but smile at the thought of sharing their love through song.
Enola giggled, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
“That sounds amazing!” she exclaimed, “I’d love to sing with Lyra.”
Lyra’s heart fluttered at the idea, a mix of shyness and exhilaration coursing through her. She glanced at Enola, whose face was lit with joy, and she felt a deep sense of connection—a bond that had grown stronger through their shared struggles and triumphs. She smiled softly.
“I’d love that too.” she said, her voice gentle. “It feels like… like we’re finally free to be ourselves.”
The fire crackled, sending a few sparks into the night sky, and Lyra watched them rise, feeling as if her own fears and doubts were being released into the universe. She took a deep breath, the cool night air filling her lungs, and she felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted.
“Let’s make some music and celebrate this beautiful moment.” Hikari said with a wink. “Love is a melody, after all!”
As Hikari began to play a lively tune, Lyra and Enola exchanged glances, their hearts beating in sync. The rhythm of the music seemed to echo the rhythm of their lives—filled with challenges, but also with hope and love. Lyra felt a surge of courage, and she reached for Enola’s hand, intertwining their fingers.
The warmth of Enola’s touch sent a shiver of delight through Lyra, and she couldn’t help but smile at the girl who had become so much more than a companion. In this moment, surrounded by the flickering firelight and the sound of Hikari’s music, Lyra felt a sense of belonging that she had longed for her entire life.
“No matter what happens,” said Enola, her voice soft yet filled with determination, “I want to face it with you, Lyra. You’re my home.”
Lyra’s heart soared at Enola’s words, and she squeezed her hand tightly, feeling the strength of their bond. The world outside may be harsh and unforgiving, but here, in this moment, they had each other—and that was enough.
“And you’re my heart, Enola.” replied Lyra, her voice steady, filled with conviction. “Together, we can face anything.”
As Hikari’s song filled the air, the three friends laughed and sang, their voices blending harmoniously.

In the shadows where the wildflowers bloom,
Two hearts found a light, dispelling the gloom.
Against the whispers of a world so unkind,
They dared to love, leaving fear far behind.

Oh, hearts unbound, let the music play,
In a world of colours, they’ll find their way.
With every note, let the truth resound,
Love has no gender, no chains can be found.

Through the storms and the trials, they stand side by side,
With courage like fire, their spirits collide.
In the face of the night, they’ll dance in the rain,
For love is a treasure that conquers the pain.

Oh, hearts unbound, let the music play,
In a world of colours, they’ll find their way.
With every note, let the truth resound,
Love has no age, no chains can be found.

So let the stars witness this beautiful fight,
As they rise like the dawn, bringing hope to the night.
With laughter and tears, they’ll paint their own song,
In a symphony of love, where they both belong.

Oh, hearts unbound, let the music play,
In a world of colours, they’ll find their way.
With every note, let the truth resound,
Love knows no borders, no chains can be found.

So here’s to the lovers, the brave and the free,
In a world that may judge, they’ll just let it be.
With hearts intertwined, they’ll forever stand tall,
For love is the answer, the greatest gift of all.



The night wrapped around them like a protective cloak, and for the first time in a long while, Lyra felt a sense of peace. They were not just fighting against oppression; they were fighting for their right to love, to be free, and to embrace the beauty of their connection.
In the flickering light of the fire, surrounded by the laughter of friends and the warmth of love, Lyra knew that they would face whatever came next together—united, strong, and unafraid.
Coming out to Oli

The evening air was cool and fragrant with the scent of blooming wildflowers as Lyra and Enola sat together on a soft patch of grass, the gentle sounds of the pond nearby creating a soothing backdrop. The campfire crackled softly in the distance, casting flickering shadows that danced around them. Lyra turned to Enola, her heart racing with a blend of anticipation and anxiety.
“Do you think we should tell Oli?” Lyra asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She brushed a stray hair behind her ear, her gaze fixed on the flames. “I mean, we told Hikari, and she was so supportive. But Oli… he’s different.”
Enola’s eyes sparkled with a mix of hope and uncertainty. “I know. Hikari’s reaction was amazing! She was so enthusiastic, and it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. But Oli… he’s so unpredictable. What if he doesn’t understand?”
Lyra reached for Enola’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “I think he will. He cares about us, even if he hides it behind his jokes. He’s always looked out for you, especially when you were on the streets. He might surprise us.”
Enola took a deep breath, her heart fluttering at the thought. “You’re right. He’s always been there for me. But what if he reacts badly? What if he thinks we’re being reckless?”
“Then we’ll face it together,” Lyra replied, her voice steady and reassuring. “We’ve faced so much already. This is just another step in our journey. And if we don’t tell him, we’ll always be hiding a part of ourselves. I don’t want to live like that anymore.”
Enola nodded, her resolve strengthening. “I don’t want to hide either. I want to be proud of who we are. I want to share our love with the world, even if it’s just our little world for now.”
Lyra smiled, feeling a rush of affection. “Exactly. And if we can be brave enough to love each other in a world that tries to tear us apart, then we can be brave enough to tell Oli. He deserves to know the truth.”
Enola’s eyes shimmered with unwept tears, a mix of fear and excitement swirling within her. “What if he doesn’t support us? What if he thinks we’re foolish?”
“Then we’ll remind him that love is never foolish,” Lyra said softly, squeezing Enola’s hand. “It’s the bravest thing we can do. And if he cares about us, he’ll come around. Just like Hikari did.”
Taking a deep breath, Enola felt a surge of courage. “Okay. Let’s do it. Let’s tell him. Together.”
Lyra beamed, her heart racing with a mix of exhilaration and nervousness. “Together,” she echoed, feeling the warmth of their connection enveloping them like a protective shield.
As they sat there, hand in hand, the world around them faded away. The uncertainty of the future loomed, but in that moment, they felt invincible. They were ready to face whatever came next, united in their love and their determination to be true to themselves.
“Let’s find him,” Lyra said, her voice filled with newfound confidence. “We’ll do it now, before the night gets too late.”
Enola nodded, her heart pounding with anticipation. “Right now. Together.”
With their hands still clasped tightly, they rose to their feet, ready to take the next step in their journey. The path ahead was uncertain, but they knew that as long as they had each other, they could face anything—even the challenges that lay ahead with Oli.
As they walked toward the campfire, the flickering light illuminated their faces, reflecting the courage and love that burned brightly within them. They were ready to share their truth, ready to embrace the future, and ready to show the world that love, in all its forms, was worth fighting for.
The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a warm golden hue over the rocky grassland. The air was thick with the rich, smoky aroma of burning wood, a scent that wrapped around them like a warm embrace, and the distant sound of water lapping against the shore of the pond. Lyra sat down cross-legged on a patch of soft grass, her fingers absently weaving through the strands of her hair as she watched the ripples dance across the water's surface. Enola, seated beside her, picked at the frayed edges of her cloak, her heart racing with a mix of excitement and trepidation.
Oli lounged a few feet away, propped against a weathered rock, his expression a blend of amusement and curiosity. The flickering campfire cast playful shadows across his face, highlighting the mischievous glint in his eyes. “So, what’s the big secret you two have been whispering about like a couple of schoolgirls?” he teased, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Lyra exchanged a glance with Enola, her heart pounding. This was it—the moment they had been both dreading and yearning for. “Oli,” she began, her voice steady despite the fluttering in her chest, “there’s something we need to tell you.”
“Do tell,” he replied, leaning forward, his interest piqued. “Is it about the herbs? Because I’m all ears if you’ve found a way to make that mind-altering concoction even more potent.”
“Not quite,” Enola interjected, her voice soft but firm. “It’s about us. About me and Lyra.”
Oli’s brow furrowed, the playful glint in his eyes dimming slightly. “You two? Together?” He chuckled, but the laughter didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s a bit… unconventional, don’t you think? I mean, the whole world is already against us, and now you want to add fuel to the fire?”
Lyra felt a pang of disappointment at his reaction, but she pressed on. “Oli, we know it’s not what people expect. But what we feel for each other is real. It’s not just some whim. It’s love.”
“Love?” Oli echoed, his tone shifting from jest to incredulity. “You think love is going to protect you from the judgment of the world? From the laws that say you can’t be together? You’re putting yourselves in danger.”
A silent ache shimmered in Enola’s gaze, and she clenched her fists in her lap. “We’re already in danger, Oli. Every day we face it. But this—what we have—it gives us strength. It’s worth fighting for.”
Oli’s expression softened, but the conflict within him was palpable. He ran a hand through his tousled hair, glancing away as if searching for the right words. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. The world is cruel, and it doesn’t care about love. It cares about power and control.”
Hikari, who had been quietly observing from a distance, stepped forward, her presence radiating warmth and conviction. “But that’s exactly why we need to stand together. Love is a rebellion in itself. It challenges the very foundations of oppression.”
Oli looked at Hikari, his brow furrowing deeper. “And what if it backfires? What if they come after you? You think they’ll just let this slide?”
“They already come after us,” Hikari replied, her voice unwavering. “Every day we walk these roads, we risk our lives. But we can’t let fear dictate our choices. We have to fight for what’s right, for what we believe in.”
Lyra felt a surge of hope at Hikari’s words, but Oli’s scepticism lingered in the air like a storm cloud. “You’re asking me to support something that could get you both killed,” he said, his voice low and serious.
“Or it could inspire others,” Enola added, her voice trembling but resolute. “We’re not just fighting for ourselves. We’re fighting for everyone who feels like they don’t belong. For everyone who’s been told they can’t love whom they choose.”
Oli’s gaze shifted between the two, the weight of their words settling heavily on his shoulders. He could see the fire in their eyes, the determination that had brought them all together on this journey. “You really believe that, don’t you?” he asked, his voice softer now.
“More than anything,” Lyra replied, her heart brimming with conviction. “We can’t let the world dictate our worth. We have to carve our own path.”
Oli sighed, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “You’re both so damn stubborn,” he said, a hint of a smile breaking through. “But I suppose that’s what makes you both so remarkable.”
Hikari grinned, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “And if anyone can change minds, it’s the two of you. Love has a way of breaking down walls, even the thickest ones built by prejudice and fear.”
Oli leaned back against the rock, his expression contemplative. “You know, I’ve seen a lot of things in my life—some good, some terrible. But I’ve never seen love like yours. It’s… different. It’s not just a fleeting fancy; it’s a force.” He paused, his gaze drifting to the flickering flames of the campfire. “But it’s also a risk. I don’t want to see you both hurt because of it.”
Lyra felt a rush of gratitude for Oli’s honesty, even if it was laced with concern. “We understand the risks, Oli. We’ve faced them every day since we met. But we can’t hide who we are. Not anymore. Not when we have each other.”
Enola reached for Lyra’s hand, intertwining their fingers, a silent promise of solidarity. The warmth of their connection radiated between them, a beacon of hope in the encroaching darkness of the world outside their small camp.
Oli watched them, his heart heavy with conflicting emotions. “You know, I’ve spent most of my life running from things—running from my past, from authority, from the consequences of my choices. But you two… you’re standing firm. You’re not running. You’re fighting.”
“Because we have to,” Enola said, her voice steady. “We can’t let fear win. Not for us, and not for anyone else who feels trapped by the world’s expectations.”
Oli chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You’re both going to be the death of me, you know that? But I suppose if I’m going to be dragged into this madness, I might as well be on the right side of it.”
Lyra’s heart soared at his words, and she squeezed Enola’s hand tighter. “So you’ll support us?”
Oli sighed dramatically, a playful grin creeping onto his face. “I’ll support you, but only if you promise to keep me entertained with your love story. I need some good material for my next performance, after all.”
Hikari laughed, her voice brightening the atmosphere. “See? Even the jester can be wise when it counts! You’re in good company, Lyra, Enola. We’re all in this together.”
Lyra felt a wave of relief wash over her, the tension that had coiled tightly in her chest beginning to unravel. “Thank you, Oli. It means more than you know.”
“Just don’t expect me to start calling you ‘my ladies’ or anything,” he quipped, raising an eyebrow. “I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Enola replied, her laughter mingling with the gentle sounds of the night. The stars began to twinkle overhead, a blanket of light against the deepening blue sky, and for a moment, the weight of the world felt a little lighter.
As the fire crackled and the night deepened, the four of them settled into a comfortable rhythm, sharing stories and laughter. The bond between them grew stronger, forged in the fires of acceptance and understanding.
Lyra glanced at Enola, her heart dancing with love and determination. They were not just fighting for themselves; they were fighting for a future where love could flourish without fear. And with each passing moment, they felt more ready to face whatever challenges lied ahead.
As the stars twinkled above, a sense of unity enveloped them, a promise that together, they could challenge the darkness and carve out a space for their love to thrive. The world might be cruel, but in this moment, surrounded by friends who accepted them, they felt invincible.
Please give me feedback! I need feedback to improve my story.

Edit: fixed some typos
Emotional support Alice ❤️‍🩹
IG: @mothappreciationclub
.:: Korephile ::.
Black Mirror
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Re: WIP: Novel with good pedophilic/korephilic representaion

Post by Black Mirror »

I may not be a good critic, but I appreciate what you are making here. World building is a challenge within itself, let alone weaving a cohesive story to express controversial topics. I have faith, though, your story will be well, but I would only advise against perfection—and what I mean is difficult to describe, but foils are a good way to convey a story's message, whether through characters or environments. I often ask, "why do people oppose this, and why do I favor it?" Maybe that answer won't be entirely clear, but it doesn't have to be. You'll know what you need to do in time. Good luck.
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Julia
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Re: WIP: Novel with good pedophilic/korephilic representaion

Post by Julia »

Thank you very much for your thoughtful feedback! I truly appreciate your insights.
Your point about avoiding perfection resonates with me. Perfectionism is one of my worst enemies. I am, unfortunately, a perfectionist through and through, but I want the story to feel authentic rather than overly polished. I also find the idea of using foils to convey deeper messages intriguing, and I’ll definitely consider how I can incorporate that into my characters and settings.
Your encouragement gives me confidence as I continue to develop the story.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts!
Emotional support Alice ❤️‍🩹
IG: @mothappreciationclub
.:: Korephile ::.
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