Why do I see mostly female girl lovers who choose to be out?

[girllover]

Is society more accepting of or simply ignores a relationship between a woman and a girl than when it is between a man and a girl?
Why do I see mostly female girl lovers who choose to be out?
Out as being a MAP and open about their attractions.
Are they trying be more visible so that other female girl lovers can reach out to them?
Do they want the mainstream culture to easily accept MAPs like it did accept other minorities on some level?
What exactly motivates them to take such a bold step?
Can anyone, any female girl lover, please explain?

[Justincredible]

Could you give an example of someone who is out? .. I don't really know of anyone who is.. certainly not anyone with a significant public presence.

With that said.. I believe there are just as many female Maps as there is male. .. I feel I've encountered them from time to time.. and yes, they do not experience anywhere near the same type of alarm and scrutiny.

Women are just viewed entirely different when it comes to girls.. they are seen as motherly, friendly and non-threatening. It's totally acceptable for them to engage, interact, conversate and even touch a little girl!

But when it comes to men... showing any interest in a child that isn't yours is perceived as highly unusual at best.. creepy and predatory at worst.

And it's extremely frustrating..
I just had a situation at work the other day where I really had to bite my tongue..

My two female co-workers started talking about "this guy at the park who's always playing with the kids" ..

Apparently he has a daughter who's around 4 .. but sometimes he shows up by himself and plays basketball with the boys. .. and they said they saw the guy buying the kids drinks at one point from the vendor.

(I know the guy they are talking about.. he's also a customer at my workplace.. and he's just a nice friendly guy, who's around 40.. for all I know he very well may be a MAP.. but nothing about him seems alarming in any way)

They were saying how it's "creepy" .."odd" .. "weird" ..

One of the ladies started saying something like .. "yeah, why would a grown man want to play with kids? .. I don't even like playing with my own kids, let alone someone else's"

.. I really, reallllly had to bite my tongue.. because I so badly wanted to say

"how dare you judge this man for innocently playing basketball with these kids!?? .. for one thing you wouldn't be talking like this if it was a woman!! And for two.. some people actually enjoy playing and interacting with children.. unlike parents like you, who are too lazy to be bothered and spend time with their own!!!!"

Grrrrr .. I was so mad and offended!! ..

I really wasn't in the mood to debate them at that time.. and I knew if I didn't choose my words carefully, it could open a whole can of worms and argument that I just didn't want to deal with. So I just left it alone and didn't say much.

Well anyways, I'm sorry about this rant.. .. in terms of your original point, could you give some examples of some female maps that are out to the public?

[FairBlueLove]

One of the ladies started saying something like .. "yeah, why would a grown man want to play with kids? .. I don't even like playing with my own kids, let alone someone else's"

.. I really, reallllly had to bite my tongue.. because I so badly wanted to say

"how dare you judge this man for innocently playing basketball with these kids!?? .. for one thing you wouldn't be talking like this if it was a woman!! And for two.. some people actually enjoy playing and interacting with children.. unlike parents like you, who are too lazy to be bothered and spend time with their own!!!!"

Grrrrr .. I was so mad and offended!! ..

I really wasn't in the mood to debate them at that time.. and I knew if I didn't choose my words carefully, it could open a whole can of worms and argument that I just didn't want to deal with. So I just left it alone and didn't say much.

I would have felt like you. Maybe it is in situations like these that we can make the difference, telling these nasty ladies exactly the words you formulated. I understand your motivations not to engage, and I would have probably done the same*, but goddammit if we don't react in these practical situations, when then?

* I do that passionately with members of my family whenever I hear similar comments, but that's much easier than with strangers.

[Julia]

That's a good question. While I can only speak for myself, I have some insights that might help explain the phenomenon.

Firstly, although I identify as "korephile," I am not exclusively attracted to girls. I'd estimate my attraction to be around 95% towards girls. In fact, my first crush was a boy. Among the four minor-attracted women I've known personally, three identified as exclusively lesbian, and one as bisexual. None of them were openly out, but if the majority of minor-attracted women are generally GLs, this could help explain why we predominantly see female GLs being openly out, as opposed to female BLs.

One consideration I had when deciding to come out was that defying the stereotype entirely might encourage people to reflect rather than react. I recently saw a topic here about how many of us don't fit the pedophile stereotype. I intended to respond to that, but I'll share my thoughts here instead. A lot of people appear to find me attractive. With a bit of makeup, I can easily pass for a teenager again. I frequently receive advances from people of all ages and genders. While it's unfortunate that our society is this way, being considered attractive can mitigate some backlash. From personal experience, I can attest to this socially, and I imagine it would be similar legally, except perhaps if the judge is a straight woman—that could actually make it worse.

Another factor to consider is that experiencing multiple layers of discrimination and oppression can fuel a desire to fight against injustice. Being openly out and taking a stand is a significant act of defiance against oppression. The more one's very existence conflicts with societal norms, the more natural it becomes to rebel. For us MAPs, simply being happy can be seen as an act of rebellion, given the societal pressure to be miserable. Each additional layer of marginalisation intensifies this sentiment. Despite the fear and danger involved, there is also something profoundly satisfying and liberating in opnely telling the truth and standing against injustice.

Moreover, there is significant overlap between lesbians and feminism—not the regressive, neo-liberal kind, but genuine, intersectional feminism. Intersectionality examines the intersections of different marginalised identities and promotes inclusivity and solidarity, highlighting the commonalities between the struggles of different civil rights movements and our shared oppressors. It embodies the spirit of the IWW slogan "an injury to one is an injury to all." Solidarity often requires self-sacrifice, especially when one possesses certain privileges, such as facing less backlash compared to others.

[Julia]

Is society more accepting of or simply ignores a relationship between a woman and a girl than when it is between a man and a girl?

I'd like to provide a more specific response to your first question. Is society more accepting of..? Yes. Does society simply ignore..? No, unfortunately not. Unfortunately in the sense that it does unfortunately not accept any type of MAP relationship; not in the sense that it's in any way good that one is more accepted than another. While one is less accepted than the other, the other is still unaccepted enough to guarantee tons of harassment, death threats, suicide bait, and likely physical assault and murder.

[girllover]

Could you give an example of someone who is out? .. I don't really know of anyone who is.. certainly not anyone with a significant public presence.

Well there's Julia who replied to this topic and then there's obviously Katie Cruz who runs the blog amapin.love
I'm just starting out with MAP activism and not connected with the MAP activists circle so I don't know many.
But yeah most of these girls/women are doing MAP activism.
I dream of a day when any MAP would feel free to come out.
They don't necessarily have to be doing MAP advocacy work.

I would have felt like you. Maybe it is in situations like these that we can make the difference, telling these nasty ladies exactly the words you formulated. I understand your motivations not to engage, and I would have probably done the same*, but goddammit if we don't react in these practical situations, when then?

* I do that passionately with members of my family whenever I hear similar comments, but that's much easier than with strangers.

I had been in situations like the guy Justincredible described.
FairBlueLove I wish I could engage in conversations like you do with your family members. But since I'm already partially outed and my family members don't actually understand pedophilia and tend to go with the societal narrative I prefer to stay silent.
Perhaps, one day things would change and the society would not look at attraction towards minors the way it does now.

Among the four minor-attracted women I've known personally, three identified as exclusively lesbian, and one as bisexual. None of them were openly out, but if the majority of minor-attracted women are generally GLs, this could help explain why we predominantly see female GLs being openly out, as opposed to female BLs.

Yes. Your observation is correct. There are more female GLs than female BLs. Besides, I think there's more stigma attached to a female loving little boys than one loving little girls.
May be that makes it difficult for them to come out?

One consideration I had when deciding to come out was that defying the stereotype entirely might encourage people to reflect rather than react. I recently saw a topic here about how many of us don't fit the pedophile stereotype. I intended to respond to that, but I'll share my thoughts here instead. A lot of people appear to find me attractive. With a bit of makeup, I can easily pass for a teenager again. I frequently receive advances from people of all ages and genders. While it's unfortunate that our society is this way, being considered attractive can mitigate some backlash.

Exactly. I had a similar experience when I was young. People would often mistake me for a teenager. I could have come out back then if the MAP movement existed like it does now online.
But I was too scared and didn't know anyone who was a pedophile. I think the more young people come out the easier it becomes for everyone to be out.

For us MAPs, simply being happy can be seen as an act of rebellion, given the societal pressure to be miserable. Each additional layer of marginalisation intensifies this sentiment. Despite the fear and danger involved, there is also something profoundly satisfying and liberating in opnely telling the truth and standing against injustice.

Yep.

[Fragment]

People are less likely to violently assault a woman.

This may not hold as well for transwomen, but in 2025? I think it does a little.

[G@yWad69]

Because according to antis, only stinky socially inept older unattractive middle aged white men are allowed to be pedos. All women are pedo hating girlboss femminists so if a female is a pedo it doesnt really count /s

[girllover]

Because according to antis, only stinky socially inept older unattractive middle aged white men are allowed to be pedos. All women are pedo hating girlboss femminists so if a female is a pedo it doesnt really count /s

There are obviously more male girllovers than female girllovers.
Why can't we be more visibly active in activism?
I see male BLs are quite active when it comes to activism.
It's not like just because many of us(male girllovers) don't feel the need to be out or be political active that the MAP movement can progress all by itself with the support of other MAPS.
I believe male girllovers could be one of the most common MAPs.