I've wanted to kill myself since age 8 only a couple years when I was taken out of school before these desires happenedI

A place for the discussion of personal issues related to being an MAP.
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SCM123ABC
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2025 3:03 am

I've wanted to kill myself since age 8 only a couple years when I was taken out of school before these desires happenedI

Post by SCM123ABC »

I was happy but I should've known I was useless and garbage and abomination.
I'm 19, a Christian, and from California (though I'm hoping to move to Georgia by next decade)

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Mysoped into BDSM since age 6
Not Forever
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2025 8:36 pm

Re: I've wanted to kill myself since age 8 only a couple years when I was taken out of school before these desires happe

Post by Not Forever »

I'm sorry to hear that. If it helps even a little, I’ve also had suicidal thoughts from a young age. They weren’t related to the topics of this forum, and I never felt like an abomination, but the sense of uselessness and self-contempt has always been a constant for me. I’ve had a few sporadic attempts, some in the early years of high school, and a more serious one last year.
SCM123ABC
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2025 3:03 am

Re: I've wanted to kill myself since age 8 only a couple years when I was taken out of school before these desires happe

Post by SCM123ABC »

Not Forever wrote: Fri Aug 22, 2025 4:34 am I'm sorry to hear that. If it helps even a little, I’ve also had suicidal thoughts from a young age. They weren’t related to the topics of this forum, and I never felt like an abomination, but the sense of uselessness and self-contempt has always been a constant for me. I’ve had a few sporadic attempts, some in the early years of high school, and a more serious one last year.
Thank you
I'm 19, a Christian, and from California (though I'm hoping to move to Georgia by next decade)

Non offending pedophile/MAP (attracted to little girls age 6-10)

Mysoped into BDSM since age 6
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White sea Snow Elf
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Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2025 1:26 pm

Re: I've wanted to kill myself since age 8 only a couple years when I was taken out of school before these desires happe

Post by White sea Snow Elf »

I don't know how to comfort you, because I know that when you decide to commit suicide, it is probably not very helpful to persuade you to hold on to life... But I still want to say that we really don't know whether good or bad things will happen tomorrow, but it is obvious that as MAPs, we can actually understand what our worst outcome will be. But no matter what, we still haven't seen what the best outcome is. So, I hope that each of us should at least look at what the picture and joy will be like if we have a good ending.
hetero,male
AoA:5-16
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