Sensitive People at Work

[Brain O'Conner]

Honestly, I don't really know what to think.
My point of view is that of someone who is not a MAP, and who might have a somewhat negative reaction to seeing a video like that (But even if the people involved had been adults, I think I have a personal aversion to that kind of clothing and way of presenting oneself). Still, I would never dream of “bringing up my concerns” to others—both because I know how word of mouth works (We’re social animals; if we’re the first to speak, we should assume others will too), and also because it’s obvious that if we ourselves have a concern, reporting it to others could cause problems—potentially very serious ones.

But at the same time, I then think about the person who made it into an actual problem—the one who went to the “authorities”, effectively turning it into an issue.

I'm really sorry that you have to constantly be on alert, that people aren't capable of just shrugging things off, of having a bit of healthy indifference and apathy. (Yeah, I know those are considered negative traits. But in my opinion, the world could use a bit of apathy. There are too many self-appointed do-gooders around.)

So, what you're saying is that you as a MAP don't like women or girls wearing clothing like that? You more of a modest? Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I disagree. I don't have a problem of them wearing clothing like that. Now, I know as a man that may sound different, but still. Like I said before with another member, it doesn't matter if someone has sexual feelings and has "lustful" thoughts of the girls/women, there's nothing wrong either way, but to each their own, I guess. I was just curious as of why you feel that way. You feel like it's objectifying or some vague thing like that or what?

[Not Forever]

So, what you're saying is that you as a MAP don't like women or girls wearing clothing like that? You more of a modest? Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I disagree. I don't have a problem of them wearing clothing like that. Now, I know as a man that may sound different, but still. Like I said before with another member, it doesn't matter if someone has sexual feelings and has "lustful" thoughts of the girls/women, there's nothing wrong either way, but to each their own, I guess. I was just curious as of why you feel that way. You feel like it's objectifying or some vague thing like that or what?

I'm not a MAP, or at least I don't consider myself one, but at the same time, what bothers me doesn't come from not being a MAP—it's more about personal taste. I just don't like that kind of aesthetic or environment. I've always found it... meh. But again, it's just personal preference. Whether it's the clothing or the high heels, it kind of represents everything I don't like.

It's not really about modesty; it's just something that's always bothered me. Paradoxically, I'd actually prefer if they didn’t wear any shoes at all rather than wear heels.

But as was implied, the fact that it bothers me is kind of irrelevant. I was just using it to point out that I would probably feel the same discomfort as that other person in a situation like that—but just because someone feels discomfort doesn’t mean they should go around talking about it and turning it into a public issue.

As for the topic of objectification, I'm not really a fan of that kind of interpretation. Maybe it's something that comes from how I grew up—ever since I was a kid, I never liked that fishnet stockings kind of aesthetic, or that kind of “erotic” look. Or beachwear, for that matter. For some reason, it's just really not to my taste. I’d find someone more “attractive” if they were wearing a biker outfit. (Not joking—I think I have a fetish for uniforms. Just… not nurse uniforms, for some strange reason.)

To go into more detail, to try to explain what I feel when I see something like that... I don't know, it just feels dirty to me. A suffocating sensation, like sweat, like something fake—maybe I subconsciously associate it with a negative stereotype of prostitution. With stuffy, humid rooms that smell like cigarettes. A kind of damp heat that makes you uncomfortable, like bad breath.

Um, I get that this might not really mean anything, but I'm trying to explain a feeling, so I guess it's normal for it to be this vague or confused. Just to be clear, though—this isn't a judgment or anything like that. It's more about the whole vibe of that environment, that kind of exposure, the clothing, and so on...

[Brain O'Conner]

So, what you're saying is that you as a MAP don't like women or girls wearing clothing like that? You more of a modest? Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I disagree. I don't have a problem of them wearing clothing like that. Now, I know as a man that may sound different, but still. Like I said before with another member, it doesn't matter if someone has sexual feelings and has "lustful" thoughts of the girls/women, there's nothing wrong either way, but to each their own, I guess. I was just curious as of why you feel that way. You feel like it's objectifying or some vague thing like that or what?

I'm not a MAP, or at least I don't consider myself one, but at the same time, what bothers me doesn't come from not being a MAP—it's more about personal taste. I just don't like that kind of aesthetic or environment. I've always found it... meh. But again, it's just personal preference. Whether it's the clothing or the high heels, it kind of represents everything I don't like.

It's not really about modesty; it's just something that's always bothered me. Paradoxically, I'd actually prefer if they didn’t wear any shoes at all rather than wear heels.

But as was implied, the fact that it bothers me is kind of irrelevant. I was just using it to point out that I would probably feel the same discomfort as that other person in a situation like that—but just because someone feels discomfort doesn’t mean they should go around talking about it and turning it into a public issue.

As for the topic of objectification, I'm not really a fan of that kind of interpretation. Maybe it's something that comes from how I grew up—ever since I was a kid, I never liked that fishnet stockings kind of aesthetic, or that kind of “erotic” look. Or beachwear, for that matter. For some reason, it's just really not to my taste. I’d find someone more “attractive” if they were wearing a biker outfit. (Not joking—I think I have a fetish for uniforms. Just… not nurse uniforms, for some strange reason.)

To go into more detail, to try to explain what I feel when I see something like that... I don't know, it just feels dirty to me. A suffocating sensation, like sweat, like something fake—maybe I subconsciously associate it with a negative stereotype of prostitution. With stuffy, humid rooms that smell like cigarettes. A kind of damp heat that makes you uncomfortable, like bad breath.

Um, I get that this might not really mean anything, but I'm trying to explain a feeling, so I guess it's normal for it to be this vague or confused. Just to be clear, though—this isn't a judgment or anything like that. It's more about the whole vibe of that environment, that kind of exposure, the clothing, and so on...

I think I can understand where you're coming from. It seems from a young age, you seem to have a negative association with such clothing maybe due to negatives things happening to you or someone else sexually or with that clothing, or just simply don't like the sex work industry such as prostitution due to the objectifying and therefore un-dignifying nature of such work selling your body. The way you described such clothing as dirty as sweat or someone fake seems to make more sense once you associate it with people selling their body that may be viewed as objectifying and thus, loss of self-dignity. It feels fake to you because you may see it as passive and showing off. Anyways, I could be wrong though. That is what get out of the whole thing of what you said. Also, I don't find it strange that you have an erotic association with biker uniforms and nurse outfits. I can understand that because not only a lot of people have such erotic taste in clothing, a lot of other people of erotic taste in the librarian outfit style or the modest traditional style because of their associations, especially the modest one being associated with traditional family roles where the man is the head of the household and the woman is the stay at home mom being taken care of, dependent on the husband. Anyways, since you're not a MAP and at least don't consider yourself one, what do you consider yourself as? Just curious.

[Not Forever]

I think I can understand where you're coming from. It seems from a young age, you seem to have a negative association with such clothing maybe due to negatives things happening to you or someone else sexually or with that clothing, or just simply don't like the sex work industry such as prostitution due to the objectifying and therefore un-dignifying nature of such work selling your body. The way you described such clothing as dirty as sweat or someone fake seems to make more sense once you associate it with people selling their body that may be viewed as objectifying and thus, loss of self-dignity. It feels fake to you because you may see it as passive and showing off. Anyways, I could be wrong though. That is what get out of the whole thing of what you said. Also, I don't find it strange that you have an erotic association with biker uniforms and nurse outfits. I can understand that because not only a lot of people have such erotic taste in clothing, a lot of other people of erotic taste in the librarian outfit style or the modest traditional style because of their associations, especially the modest one being associated with traditional family roles where the man is the head of the household and the woman is the stay at home mom being taken care of, dependent on the husband. Anyways, since you're not a MAP and at least don't consider yourself one, what do you consider yourself as? Just curious.

I honestly don't know if it's really connected to a negative view of prostitution. I mention "stereotype" because I'm somewhat familiar with the BDSM scene, which might have similar dynamics, but they don't bother me. (Though strangely, even there, all the "erotic clothing" typical of the BDSM world still bothers me.)

In itself, as a stance, for example, I have no issues with the legalization of prostitution or things related to OnlyFans — I don't have a negative image of it when talking about it.

Anyway, I don't consider myself a MAP because I don't feel an interest in real people; what interests me is the imagery found in drawings and literature. I read fairy tales, and I might find the protagonist erotically interesting, but if I associate that with the image of a real flesh-and-blood person, the fantasy disappears. I tend to “fall in love” more with a context or an imagined world.

And by lack of interest in real people, I mean regardless of age — even the idea of an actual sexual relationship doesn't appeal to me.

[FlowerLurker]

So, about a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a co-worker about something, and I decided to show him something on youtube on my phone. Now, we shared each other videos before and one of them was about 9/11, which was a topic that we both were interested in. Now, the video that I showed him a couple weeks back was a child modeling video. I explained to him the youtube channel and all and said how they did various of age groups and genders and said I watch this stuff because it's cool to see talent and cool outfits. He had some things to say about the girls in that they look too skinny and I explained to him that they don't look skinny and look quite tall and that they were nine years old, and later showed him the preteen section of the video and I guess in retrospect, he felt uncomfortable of what I was showing him, but he never said a thing about it. I didn't make any weird comments and all, but in retrospect, he told another person at work without me knowing but did it in good faith because he felt a bit concerned. Now, this person that he told this to, told another person and I guess this other person went to the manager. Now, yesterday, I was told to go into the office about some scheduling with my work and stuff. So, I went to the office, and me and the manager discussed the schedule, as well as not having phones out while at work. Now this is where it gets juicy. He also explained to me how he had some concerns from other workers who told him about some videos. Now I asked what kind of videos that the concern was about (knowing in the back of my mind of what it actually was) and how I showed all kinds of videos to people, and then he responded with a "couple" of videos. Now I only mentioned to him how I showed the co-worker 9/11 videos and then we explained how even though people would agree to watching something you want to show them, they may still feel uncomfortable and that was pretty much it. I wasn't in trouble or anything. Now as for today, I asked that same co-worker if I did anything that made him feel uncomfortable. He responded to me with a no, and I pressed further and asked about certain videos that may have made him feel that way. He eventually responded yes and saying it was that child modeling video and how he only told one person. Now he told me that he didn't know it was going to escalate the way it did and felt mad at himself. I said it was okay and that there was no need to get mad and that I was just curious, but he still feels mad at himself for that. But anyways, that is what I wanted to share. People can become so sensitive to things that are not even sexual at all. Here's the actual video I showed him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwhlFFg_b7o&t=213s. There's nothing bad about it at all. It's quite stylish I would say. One of them is wearing a sailor outfit which I find cute.

first rule of the MAP-club: never talk about the MAP-club
but stipid jokes aside, the story is quite a big example of people being randomly pedophobic because someone else said so. sometimes people are too "sheeple" and its just sad. i wish we started heading in the opposite direction, meh.