The following is the synopsis of an upcoming episode of BL Talk, the long running weekly podcast that presents impaneled discussion topics of relevance and importance to BLs and MAPs in general. It can be heard on the Slide Zone radio show every Wednesday at 7 pm EST on KMAP-HQ Radio www.kmap-hq.com.
Synopsis - A Most Important Responsibility
I’m sure many are familiar with the term G.I.G.O “garbage in, garbage out”. It refers to the assimilation, processing and subsequent output of information. How you program a computer is directly related to the quality of it’s output. If you want it to produce a valid answer it needs to be fed correct and relevant information. If what you give it is erroneous and incomplete your output may be far from correct.
It is the same for the human brain. The more varied, complete and factual information one has the more likely the chance of a successful outcome at whatever endeavor. The inculcation of a child with misleading, slanted and incorrect information is a lifetime impediment.
A behavior modification technique is to replace fallacious assumptions with a set of real world beliefs. A modification of what has been called “the belief window”. That is the set of beliefs you hold as valid. What you have on your belief window is what will drive your thoughts and actions. In this context, whatever you think, whatever actions you plan, will be the product of those beliefs. That will be so even if there is insufficient or contrary evidence to support it. To act or interact on that basis is a situation not destined to produce positive results.
If you believe that certain actions or behaviors constitute a moral or philosophical offense (whether it actually affects you or not) your thoughts and actions will be in social, legal or physical opposition to them. Concerning the institution and maintenance of personal as well as civil peace and cohesion this can and does create a variety of problems.
This type of incorrect beliefs are generally the product of indoctrination by way of parental, familial and/or social interactions and education. What your parents put in your head, their own personal views, can last a lifetime. Living with such beliefs create problems and obstacles. Whatever you plan or try may not quite work out.
Incorrect belief systems is a primary reason why our world is in such a mess. We make plans based on what we believe is the way it goes and never understand why it keeps failing. Or, why it continues to need a bandage every few years.This situation leads to children growing towards their majority with erroneous beliefs and without practical knowledge of the real world.
My job is to teach my YF as much as I can to prepare him for adult transition. Whatever topic it is, sensitive subject or not, I am to provide him the best most complete answer I can give. To do any less would be disrespectful to him and to myself as well. Additionally, I would be perpetuating the mess the world is already in.
“Oh his innocence is so refreshing. Let him be a kid as long as possible.” Childhood requires playtime but it isn’t one long period of play. Childhood is to prepare a person to navigate the world. Innocence is not a virtue, it is an impediment. Innocence is the lack of knowledge. Your adorable, innocent child is now a mark for someone more knowledgeable and with less scruples.
Don’t put him off or give him a short answer. Tell him the full truth. If he is able to think, formulate and articulate a question he is ready for the answer. If a six year old asked me where babies came from I would tell him in a way he could understand. As he digests the information, more and more sophisticated questions will be forthcoming. And you are the Hero!