never knew something like this existed

[Zmap]

Hello! nice to meet you ya'll! a bit about me, 39M known my attraction since I was 12 years old. Ended up offending at 13 and went through therapy and so i understand their teachings and how to avoid offending again. Been clean since then. I have been unable to discuss my attractions in even half detail with anyone other than posting on quora answering half assed questions and a single person and that never in any detail. Never been able to discuss with my own kind nor did I even know it was an option! I'm really excited to find this place and be able to talk openly (within rules of course) and truly be myself and i look forward to seeing other thoughts.

[BLueRibbon]

Welcome!

[RoosterDance]

Ended up offending at 13 and went through therapy and so i understand their teachings and how to avoid offending again.

Welcome! And I'm curious, what sort of things did they tell you in this therapy?

[Zmap]

Ended up offending at 13 and went through therapy and so i understand their teachings and how to avoid offending again.

Welcome! And I'm curious, what sort of things did they tell you in this therapy?

The usual "you are a dangerous person" stuff, that i am not to be trusted, that my thoughts were horrible, that my actions were terrible. Ya know the usual "pedo is bad" stuff. They loved to try to tell me the traumatic offense of sex with minors (as I was 13!) to explain that i was destroying a life. Telling me about teenage pregnancy and how a lot of it is from adults which isn't really supported by research. They mainly focused upon ways to resist and control the urge. A classic was using a rubberband to slap on the wrist. Another was thinking of the parents and how hard it would be to get away with acting (this still works) another was focusing on removing myself from a situation where i could offend. Everything was about how much of a monster I was and how i had to stop everything before i ended up in prison and someone ended up traumatized. All the while i knew I would never want to traumatize a minor, never give them pain, never want to go past where they were clearly uncomfortable if i were to ever act.

[RoosterDance]

Hm. I suppose all that is about what I expected, though it still chafes me to hear it all.
About how long did it last?

[Zmap]

I actually got the age it started wrong, 15 not 13. Offended at 13 admitted at 15. A few years. Do to that offense I was putting into foster homes for sexually aggressive youth as they called it. Spent 15-18 bouncing around those homes and getting forced into this therapy every step of the way. Treated like a danger and being forced to reveal everything sexual including how many times I masturbated that week in front a circle of other boys my age and to what. That really didn't help me trusting anyone. A pretty funny one I couldn't help but laugh at was a female therapist in her 60's-70's spending a little time of every appointment putting sensual adult porn on her tv and having me watch it in a attempt to show me proper sexual relationships and consent. To change my attractions. Little did they know I like both and it was just regular porn lol. Similar strategies to conversion therapy for our queer friends.

Early 2000's pedo "support" wasn't very well researched and no one asked us kids what would help us.

[Yog-Sothoth32]

This just shows how warped they were. Hoping therapy has changed by now. Showing someone “adult normal” porn instead of letting them know that their particular imprint is normal, even if unacceptable by society is the proper course. Conversion therapy for gays and pedos is like trying to tell a leopard that in time they’ll have stripes like a tiger. Idiots.