When did you know?

[Enbyfictionwriter]

Apologies if this is already a thread, but I can’t recall one.

When did you first know you were a map? Or is it more that you can see the clues looking back, even into childhood? For me I was right around puberty and getting more intense feelings of happiness and love with younger kids - of course at the time I didn’t make too much of it, and looking back I can see this was my identity starting to emerge.

Another question - how did this impact your mental health, and how is it now? I think this is a very important discussion to have. Mine got very bad once I “woke up” to the truth at 17. It didn’t really improve until I got into therapy and got on meds, 10+ years later.

[PurpleHouse]

About age 14-15. I was still young enough to be in my eventual AoA range but but back then I preferred younger end of the hebephile range, and the upper end of my AoA grew over time. I felt I was ordinary heterosexual but with this "extra" thing going on and for many years assumed I could one day settle in a normal relationship and outgrow the "extra" part of my sexuality.

In subtle ways perhaps I had clues before that but that's when it really showed.

Harder as I got older and realised my "straight" side wasn't growing up with me and I saw more and more hate and less logical thinking out there. So much to suppress. Most people know LGBT people suffer from living in a society that disapproves of them. It is the same for the MAP.

[FairBlueLove]

I recently posted about that here, but it was not a dedicated thread.

[ReArm!]

Pretty recently, I was 15 or even 16 I don't remember exactly, but it was because I realized I liked young-looking boys, like femboys or shotas, and then it was like, Oh shit I'd definetly fuck a 12 or 13 year old if I could.