○ It's hard to know if I can ever feel joy again like I used to. Maybe once in a while I will laugh at a good joke or smile upon reuniting with an old acquaintance, but these don't make me feel real joy. I used to think many things would, but upon seeing "joy" transpire in other people's lives, it makes me uncertain. I think I want to be happy, but the more I ponder about it, the more I come to realize I really don't know what I want at this point. I just imagine myself with her, playing and laughing as we did, sitting close to one another and just talking, oblivious to the world and the universe around us. It felt so good to not worry about what would come; even the hell I was enduring felt entirely irrelevant. I was happy to just have her be there in my life, but then she was gone, and it wasn't long before I learned just how painful the absence of joy can be.
● "No one cares, you know," it mutters.
○ I care... I did anyways. Doesn't that mean anything?
● "No, it doesn't because you got me now."
○ Go to hell.
● "But we're already in hell, now aren't we?"
○ ... yes, I suppose we are, but at least I know there is good out there; even if it was only temporary. Many never really get a chance to experience it.
● "Memories lie."
○ You lie, now fuck off.