Aam

[Olivia2012]

I don't know what to do. I'm pretty sure somethings wrong with me and I want to fix it but I can't. I have a really bad problem where I talk to MAPS (sexually) and hate it, but when I don't talk to them I feel even worse. I depend on attention from them, and it's getting to the point that I prefer they be terrible people than people who genuinely 'care' for me. I hate venting abt stuff like this because it's kinda my fault and I don't really have the right to complain about how they act towards me when I'm the one letting them but I can't stop.

[WavesInEternity]

First: don't blame yourself.

Needing attention is normal. Needing affection is normal. Wanting sex and intimacy is normal. If you have a preference for adults as romantic/sexual partners, but obviously can't have adults as partners due to your age, it's normal for that to cause sexual frustration and distress. MAPs experience the same thing, but the other way around.

In the same way as MAPs are pushed by the current system to behave in desperate predatory ways, you might be engaging in self-destructive behaviour for the very same reason. Blanket prohibition of AMSC is a self-fulfilling prophecy that causes a greater prevalence of sexual abuse of young people and fosters unhealthy relationships between adults and minors. Those MAPs that are willing to offend by behaving sexually with you are more likely than the norm to be narcissistic or delusional men who care relatively little about your well-being, considering the iatrogenic/secondary harm AMSC can entail in our society. Of course, some might also just be so sexually frustrated that they don't care about anything else anymore. (I know I was often close to the breaking point myself, although I'd have unalived myself before risking causing harm to a young girl.)

I can't give you sexual intimacy in any shape or form, but I can give you attention and platonic love on this forum, if you think that might help. Many MAPs find that platonic friendships with young people are very helpful.

[Jim Burton]

In the general (not always) adults who regularly get horny talking to AAMs, by definition don't care much about themselves/their safety (with all due respect, you could be a fed) nor are they capable of forging real-life relationships. They have time on their hands for this kind of thing and don't care about the risks. So the more sexually loaded your conversations, the more likely you are going to be talking to "low quality" individuals, to be quite honest.

If that's what draws you to these adults, and can't be stopped, all I say is don't do anything that gives them bargaining power over you, or give fake information if you have to.

[WavesInEternity]

In the general (not always) adults who regularly get horny talking to AAMs, by definition don't care much about themselves/their safety (with all due respect, you could be a fed) nor are they capable of forging real-life relationships. They have time on their hands for this kind of thing and don't care about the risks. So the more sexually loaded your conversations, the more likely you are going to be talking to "low quality" individuals, to be quite honest.

If that's what draws you to these adults, and can't be stopped, all I say is don't do anything that gives them bargaining power over you, or give fake information if you have to.

I agree with everything Jim said. I regret that I didn't think about that last part: yes, you should really be careful. Some MAPs who are narcissistic and/or desperate enough to start interacting sexually with you could very well also resort to outright blackmail.

Once again... it's really sad, but the current social and legal context makes it so that whatever AMSC that does happen is very unlikely to be healthy. It's a vicious circle.

[WavesInEternity]

I have a question for you, Olivia: when you say those men are terrible people who don't care about you, what do you mean exactly? What kind of behaviour do they have towards you that makes you feel that way?

Also, this is the sort of thing we really don't want to see happen to you: https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-rep ... maginable/

Be careful out there.