Was anyone here abused as a child?

[Apple_gun]

When I was 14 I got sexually assaulted by my mother and went through mental abuse for almost my entire life. Also my parents fought and some of the fights were absolutely violent. Terrifying to say at least. Has anyone else here went through the same?

[WavesInEternity]

I was severely psychologically abused (not sexually) by my father and uncle between the ages of 7 and 9. It started as "punishment" for my "bad behaviour" at school (which felt like prison to me), but when said "punishment" backfired and made me even more rebellious, it spiraled out of control and quickly became abusive. I ran away from home a couple times.

It's not something I like to talk about.

[Outis]

I was sexually active with a family friend from an early age but I wouldn't class it as abusive thankfully.

[WavesInEternity]

I was sexually active with a family friend from an early age but I wouldn't class it as abusive thankfully.

Did it influence your views on AMSC and MAPs? Only if you're comfortable discussing it, of course.

[Outis]

I was sexually active with a family friend from an early age but I wouldn't class it as abusive thankfully.

Did it influence your views on AMSC and MAPs? Only if you're comfortable discussing it, of course.

I honestly don't know.

In my case it was a family friend who I liked when he visited. It was a long time ago but he was like my best "uncle", not an actual uncle but he was a close enough family friend that he was like an uncle almost.

Then one day when I was out building dens, I would have been around 6 or 7 I guess, he appeared and offered to help so we built this amazing den on some land adjoining our garden and then we climbed in. It was like a little hideout. Anyway we were close and I don't remember all the details of how it started but I know we started to explore things together, my trousers were down and his were and well, we had a sexual exploration together. It was fun for me, different, but I remember enjoying the experience. After that we had a few more experiences like that and I ended up wanting more to the point that I think I started pressing him for more than he was comfortable with, maybe it was cold feet for him, I don't know. It kind of culminated one day when I walked out of our garden and went to his house across town, knocked on his door and he was surprised to little me there smiling up at him. I think that was too much so he told me I couldn't just leave home like that and we had to stop doing those things and then he marched me home. I suppose I became a little stalker to him.

So for me it wasn't abusive, just an adventure that got out of hand.

Apart from that I was pretty ordinary I think, I fancied several teachers, I fancied girls my age and younger, I would masturbate but I wasn't that successful with females growing up.

I think for me the main impact has been a more open mind about other people and sceptism towards how pedophiles are presented because I suppose technically he was a pedophile but he was also a good friend and very caring. I mean I was a quiet lad and was bullied quite a bit and he was someone I could talk to about that stuff, he was my rock in many ways.

But that's left me knowing that kids like me can have positive experiences growing up and it isn't always abuseive. Somtimes it's abusive for sure but I think I'd have struggled more without him.

[Fragment]

I had a dysfunctional childhood but I don’t like labelling my experiences as abusive. I think that assigns more intentionality and blame than I’d like to assign to my family.

Nothing sexual. Physical, verbal, neglect. None to an extreme degree.

Still shaped parts of who I am, though.

[WavesInEternity]

I think for me the main impact has been a more open mind about other people and sceptism towards how pedophiles are presented because I suppose technically he was a pedophile but he was also a good friend and very caring. I mean I was a quiet lad and was bullied quite a bit and he was someone I could talk to about that stuff, he was my rock in many ways.
[...]
But that's left me knowing that kids like me can have positive experiences growing up and it isn't always abuseive. Somtimes it's abusive for sure but I think I'd have struggled more without him.

That was a nice and interesting story. It seems very likely to me that it did have a lasting positive impact on you.

Interpreted according to the HSFN (Hegemonic Sex Fascist Narrative), however, you were horrifyingly molested, are in denial about the severe trauma, and are now turning into an abuser yourself and continuing the "cycle of abuse" while integrating a community of fellow sexual predators to validate your perversion. It all makes perfect sense!

(Reminds me a lot of the unfalsifiable Marxist concept of "false consciousness".)

[Outis]

I think for me the main impact has been a more open mind about other people and sceptism towards how pedophiles are presented because I suppose technically he was a pedophile but he was also a good friend and very caring. I mean I was a quiet lad and was bullied quite a bit and he was someone I could talk to about that stuff, he was my rock in many ways.
[...]
But that's left me knowing that kids like me can have positive experiences growing up and it isn't always abuseive. Somtimes it's abusive for sure but I think I'd have struggled more without him.

That was a nice and interesting story. It seems very likely to me that it did have a lasting positive impact on you.

Interpreted according to the HSFN (Hegemonic Sex Fascist Narrative), however, you were horrifyingly molested, are in denial about the severe trauma, and are now turning into an abuser yourself and continuing the "cycle of abuse" while integrating a community of fellow sexual predators to validate your perversion. It all makes perfect sense!

(Reminds me a lot of the unfalsifiable Marxist concept of "false consciousness".)

I know, that's why I'm so sceptical about the whole case against pedophiles.

To me it's an undeniable fact that I had a positive sexual relationship with an adult as a child. I just did, in many ways I was the one pressing him into sexual contact and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. More than that, it helped me in other areas of my life at the time, it helped my confidence and helped me to deal with real problems, not imaginary problems like me being molested. Bullying, fights with my siblings, struggling sometimes with school, having a man in my life who listened, gave good advice, cared and who I could have moments of joy with without worrying about that other stuff, I shudder to imagine growing up without him in my life.

The byproduct of all that I believe is that I'm a more caring, compassionate and open minded adult. Whether it's gay people, trans people, refugees, whoever, I'm slow to judge and distrust any narrative I hear about them because I know how false the narrative is about pedophiles. If society can spin an obviously false narrative about pedophiles and have it widely swallowed as reality, then how can I believe any narrative I hear about any other group?

My wifes family is very religious and traditional and they had to deal with the nightmare of discovering one of their kids was gay. They tried prayer, councilling and seeing specialists who claimed to be able to convert and heal him. None of that worked but it was in my opinion traumatic in its own way for him. They actually asked me to talk to him because they recognised that I'm a bit of an outsider to their strict religious traditions and their son might talk to me. So I did and I reassured him that it was fine and that they are the way they are because they love him and worry for him but actually he's a good guy and I'm always available to talk if he needs someone to talk to. I encouraged the family to accept him as he is and it took many years but they are now very supportive of him and have come to terms with it. A similar thing happened with a daughter of theirs who got into trouble watching porn which freaked everyone out and yet again I was asked to speak to her because they had no idea how to talk about anything so sensitive. I talked to her about why she shouldn't do that, that's it's normal to be curious and porn can be pleasurable and addictive but it makes her family worry and it's distracting when she should focus on studies and friendships etc. Again if she needed to talk then she knows where I am.

I would say the biggest impact on my life from being a map is just I'm more empathetic to others and much slower to judge. Also knowing my own experiences has made it not something to fear or see as a traumatic thing. It didn't make me go out and molest anyone. Did it make me a map? I don't know but I don't think it did. You see, my dad had a hidden porn collection which I found while growing up and it was a real mix including some legal porn that had young looking actresses and school girl type themes. Maybe my father was a pedophile, I don't know, I'm not going to ask, so maybe there's a genetic element or maybe that porn influenced me or maybe it was the positive experiences that drew me towards it, I don't know. In the end I am though and I'm happy with that, if I had the opportunity to change it so I didn't have those experiences and I could be a non-pedophile today as a result I would choose to still have those experiences and remain a pedophile today with the character benefits that come with it.

[Pegasus]

What really is the definition of abuse? If an adult touches a child forcefully, I think that's abuse, but if that adult touches without forcing, does the child accept this touch? Is it still abuse? I only have a flash in my memory, of one situation, I don't know if there were others, but I didn't see it as abuse (an older cousin, I don't remember how old he was, but no more than 5, 6) but I touched him, I felt the sensation in my hand and I liked it, but he didn't abuse me. And taking it a step further, what if that hadn't happened, would I like children today? Did this situation make me the way I am today? What if it hadn't happened? Today I'm very sexualized, I love sex, I love pornography. Sometimes it's sad.

[Lennon72]

I don't feel as if I was abused. But I had a female babysitter who wanted me to do things to her. I was not interested. She would keep on persisting and I would keep refusing. She never did force me and I do not recall anything happening. I was grossed out by it but never traumatized. That is closest I ever came to being abused.