Am I too old?

A place for the discussion of personal issues related to being an MAP.
Olivia2012
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Am I too old?

Post by Olivia2012 »

This is probably a stupid question lol but I'm 13 as of like last month and it's making me kinda worried. I want MAPs to like me, but less people are interested now that I'm a little older
jeffychubchaser29
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by jeffychubchaser29 »

Olivia2012 wrote: Tue Mar 25, 2025 10:39 pm This is probably a stupid question lol but I'm 13 as of like last month and it's making me kinda worried. I want MAPs to like me, but less people are interested now that I'm a little older
With all due respect I don't think you are mentally ready yet to be in a relationship with an adult, with how you veiw adult/child contact but this is my opinion.
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WavesInEternity
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by WavesInEternity »

13 is still very much in the typical age range preferred by hebephiles (like me), but in any case, chronophilias are really not about age hun. A 20-year-old girl that has a childlike phenotype (high neoteny) and the attitude to go with it can be much more attractive to me than a 14-year-old who tries to look and act like a "mature woman".

People thought my ex-girlfriend in her early 20s was 14/15 by looks alone... until they learned that she was a PhD student. :P

If you don't have the body for it as you get older, you can ask yourself: "what is it about MAPs that's particularly attractive to me"? If it's mostly about the "authority", dominance, and guidance, you can well have a non-MAP (or non-exclusive MAP) who desires such a relational dynamic. There are many in the BDSM scene (I'm one).

In any case, I do mostly agree with jeffychubchaser29. You've got some serious soul-searching to do before you're ready for a genuine relationship. As things stand, you're very likely to get hurt and/or to hurt someone else. You have inside you so much hatred, self-hatred, violent inner conflicts, moral uncertainty, and a glaring existential void which makes you crave attention and outside validation. You ought to be much closer to eudaemonia before you can hope to have a mutually satisfactory intimate bond with someone. Depending on others to approximate happiness generally has disastrous results.

The saddest part is that much of your inner conflicts seem to result from everything about society that we're trying to change.
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Olivia2012
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by Olivia2012 »

WavesInEternity wrote: Tue Mar 25, 2025 11:36 pm 13 is still very much in the typical age range preferred by hebephiles (like me), but in any case, chronophilias are really not about age hun. A 20-year-old girl that has a childlike phenotype (high neoteny) and the attitude to go with it can be much more attractive to me than a 14-year-old who tries to look and act like a "mature woman".

People thought my ex-girlfriend in her early 20s was 14/15 by looks alone... until they learned that she was a PhD student. :P

If you don't have the body for it as you get older, you can ask yourself: "what is it about MAPs that's particularly attractive to me"? If it's mostly about the "authority", dominance, and guidance, you can well have a non-MAP (or non-exclusive MAP) who desires such a relational dynamic. There are many in the BDSM scene (I'm one).

In any case, I do mostly agree with jeffychubchaser29. You've got some serious soul-searching to do before you're ready for a genuine relationship. As things stand, you're very likely to get hurt and/or to hurt someone else. You have inside you so much hatred, self-hatred, violent inner conflicts, moral uncertainty, and a glaring existential void which makes you crave attention and outside validation. You ought to be much closer to eudaemonia before you can hope to have a mutually satisfactory intimate bond with someone. Depending on others to approximate happiness generally has disastrous results.

The saddest part is that much of your inner conflicts seem to result from everything about society that we're trying to change.
How would I end up hurting anyone else?
Fragment
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by Fragment »

Olivia2012 wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 1:31 am How would I end up hurting anyone else?
If you did get into a relationship with an older person, based on your comments here it's very likely that your mood would change and you might end up getting them arrested and destroying their lives.
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Olivia2012
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by Olivia2012 »

Fragment wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 2:04 am
Olivia2012 wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 1:31 am How would I end up hurting anyone else?
If you did get into a relationship with an older person, based on your comments here it's very likely that your mood would change and you might end up getting them arrested and destroying their lives.
Usually if I'm upset with them I just block them but whatever. I've never gotten anyone else involved in a way that could get them in trouble because I just don't feel like it, also I'd get in trouble too so there'd be no point
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WavesInEternity
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by WavesInEternity »

Fragment wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 2:04 am If you did get into a relationship with an older person, based on your comments here it's very likely that your mood would change and you might end up getting them arrested and destroying their lives.
And even if you don't go that far... if a man ends up really falling for you, really caring for you, and for whatever reason you tell him you think he should die, that can hurt. Even strong, dominant men have feelings, and if one chooses to open his heart to you, this implies that he'll make himself vulnerable to you. The practice of love entails making one's mind utterly permeable to the thoughts and feelings of another being. It's a communion of hearts and souls beyond the ordinary boundaries of the ego.

As you are now, no sane man would choose to entwine his soul with yours.
Olivia2012 wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 2:52 am Usually if I'm upset with them I just block them but whatever. I've never gotten anyone else involved in a way that could get them in trouble because I just don't feel like it, also I'd get in trouble too so there'd be no point
The way you're speaking of your relationships with "those men", it seems that you're just using them, and they're just using you. It would appear to me that love isn't really involved.
"There is a kink in my damned brain that prevents me from thinking as other people think." - Charles S. Peirce
Straight cis male —— Ideal AoA: 10-14 —— Broader AoA: 7-17 + rare adult autopedophiles with a child's heart & a petite body
Olivia2012
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by Olivia2012 »

WavesInEternity wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 3:15 am
Fragment wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 2:04 am If you did get into a relationship with an older person, based on your comments here it's very likely that your mood would change and you might end up getting them arrested and destroying their lives.
And even if you don't go that far... if a man ends up really falling for you, really caring for you, and for whatever reason you tell him you think he should die, that can hurt. Even strong, dominant men have feelings, and if one chooses to open his heart to you, this implies that he'll make himself vulnerable to you. The practice of love entails making one's mind utterly permeable to the thoughts and feelings of another being. It's a communion of hearts and souls beyond the ordinary boundaries of the ego.

As you are now, no sane man would choose to entwine his soul with yours.
Olivia2012 wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 2:52 am Usually if I'm upset with them I just block them but whatever. I've never gotten anyone else involved in a way that could get them in trouble because I just don't feel like it, also I'd get in trouble too so there'd be no point
The way you're speaking of your relationships with "those men", it seems that you're just using them, and they're just using you. It would appear to me that love isn't really involved.
Can you stop assuming stuff about my entire life based off of a few posts??? I don't speak irl the way I do online, so don't even start abt me insulting them or anything like that. This might seem like a wild idea to you, but I have the ability to not say every single thought I have out loud, and I never really insult them in that kind of way unless they hurt me first. And have you ever considered that MAYBE, love isn't involved yet because I haven't found one that actually loves me??? Or did that just not cross your mind
Bookshelf
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by Bookshelf »

I'm not going to get into whatever debate's going on here, but I'll just say this.

The cool thing about human sexuality is that there's an interest in just about everything somewhere. Whatever insecurities you have around anything, whether that's your age or something else, there's going to be people that exist that are in to that specific thing. That means that really there's no such thing as too old.

That goes for anything. There's no such thing as too tall, too short, too fat, too weird, too skinny etc. There will always exist a group of people who are in to it.
EOF
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Re: Am I too old?

Post by EOF »

Olivia2012 wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 9:57 am Can you stop assuming stuff about my entire life based off of a few posts??? I don't speak irl the way I do online, so don't even start abt me insulting them or anything like that. This might seem like a wild idea to you, but I have the ability to not say every single thought I have out loud, and I never really insult them in that kind of way unless they hurt me first. And have you ever considered that MAYBE, love isn't involved yet because I haven't found one that actually loves me??? Or did that just not cross your mind
Olivia2012 wrote: Sat Mar 22, 2025 2:28 am Are you serious? Yes, I do full heartedly believe an off handed remark warranted his death. Rape has no excuses. I believe in the death penalty personally and if I had been the judge of it him and your grandpa would've died much sooner in the most gruesome way possible. And, as for the comments regarding what abt maps who HAVE committed crimes, they should die too. You know you can't mention statutory rape because it isn't comparable in a conversation like this, but as for crimes against children, that is never redeemable. Maps shouldn't have sex with children and that isn't even a crazy take. Even with consent, a lot of statutory rape only happens as a result of grooming that made the minor think it was okay to say yes, not often genuine consent. As for ambiguous consent? That's just as bad as rape. If you don't have a complete, solid yes, it should be considered a no and going against that is rape. Your morals are disgusting, and you are disgusting.
Indeed, no sane MAP should involve himself with you, unless it's for petty flirting.
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