On “Grooming”

[Fragment]

When I “groom” a minor, my biggest goal is that they become a more thoughtful, open-minded and knowledgeable person than they would’ve been without meeting me.


Seeing them become a better person is the biggest turn on of all.

[WavesInEternity]

When I “groom” a minor, my biggest goal is that they become a more thoughtful, open-minded and knowledgeable person than they would’ve been without meeting me.


Seeing them become a better person is the biggest turn on of all.

Although, ultimately, the same is true for me with respect to that last sentence...

...in my opinion, you're leaving out an important part. I don't want to merely "educate" the young people I "groom", I want them to have fun in the process of bettering themselves. I want to avoid having them feel anything like what I felt at school. I want them to learn to enjoy life wisely and responsibly. But heaven forbid I show a young person new ways to have fun. That's anathema to the requirements of established hierarchies. Kids must learn to obey authority and suffer in silence. My "grooming" is terribly controversial because it rejects those assumptions.

[Fragment]

I didn't leave it out, I merely said that for me, my biggest goal is seeing growth. Fun is definitely another goal that motivates me, but it's not my biggest.

Even for things that are fun, I like seeing growth. Having a kid scared of roller coasters ride one with me and overcome his fear, for example. (That's gone well a few times, but one time it backfired horribly.)

I think it may be something more of a BL/ pederast instinct, although not absent in GLs. The "gay uncle" theory seems like it should actually be a "BL uncle" theory.

[PorcelainLark]

Teaching can be a very rewarding and satisfying activity when it goes well. Although, I've had much more experience with adults and teenagers than people in my preferred AoA.

I've often imagined a kind of heterosexual pederasty, where you combined feminism with the ancient Greek perspective! A man could mentor a girl, and woman mentor a boy. Incidentally, that's what lead me to learning about Martha Nussbaum.

The advantage of pederasty versus child marriage, is that there's a clear purpose why the MAP would have a new relationship when the child gets older. In contrast, unless you constantly divorce, or practice polygamy/polyandry, the MAP is stuck in a relationship with someone that has left their AoA, if they marry.

[WavesInEternity]

I didn't leave it out, I merely said that for me, my biggest goal is seeing growth. Fun is definitely another goal that motivates me, but it's not my biggest.

Even for things that are fun, I like seeing growth. Having a kid scared of roller coasters ride one with me and overcome his fear, for example. (That's gone well a few times, but one time it backfired horribly.)

I think it may be something more of a BL/ pederast instinct, although not absent in GLs. The "gay uncle" theory seems like it should actually be a "BL uncle" theory.

That does seem to be a more specifically BL focus. The mentorship part is definitely not absent for GLs such as myself, and I'd even say I'm personally more fond of it than most of my fellow GLs, but we tend to feel that play and romance are just as important, if not more so depending on the relationship.

However, I'd point out that in my own case, if you re-read what I wrote above, I don't see having fun as detached from seeing the youth's personal growth. It's not a separate goal. It's part of the definition, although that's surely because I'm a hedonist at heart. I'd never want to have a "pure mentorship" relationship with a girl that finds it boring or tedious. That would feel like "schooling" her. Ugh.

The advantage of pederasty versus child marriage, is that there's a clear purpose why the MAP would have a new relationship when the child gets older. In contrast, unless you constantly divorce, or practice polygamy/polyandry, the MAP is stuck in a relationship with someone that has left their AoA, if they marry.

Full agreement. It's for good reason that there's high comorbidity between the institutions of child marriage (generally the same as arranged/forced marriage in practice) and that of polygamy.

I actually warn all my potential romantic partners (even adults) that my erotic interest will inevitably be time-bound. Those who loved me back have always reacted by trying to prolong their attractiveness, up to and including cosmetic surgery, which is really what most heterosexual women do anyway. My girlfriends just do so more explicitly and with better-defined goals.