Question for female pedophiles

[mrlolicon93]

How did you find out you were attracted to kids?

Are you exclusive or non-exclusive and straight bi or gay?

Also, why do you think minor attraction is mostly a male thing and female maps don't get much attention?

[Fragment]

Just to refine what you’re asking- do you mean female to mean sex and therefore “ciswomen and transmen”, or gender and therefore “cis and trans women”?

[mrlolicon93]

Just to refine what you’re asking- do you mean female to mean sex and therefore “ciswomen and transmen”, or gender and therefore “cis and trans women”?

This thread is for “ciswomen/biological female maps.

[eveeve]

Hi!
Ciswoman MAP here!

Sorry if my response doesn’t really seem that straight forward or just all over the place, I’ve never been in a space where I’ve been able to be open about this subject and really open up about myself.

I found out I was attracted to kids around 16/17. I was a full time babysitter when I was a teenager and would be around a lot of kids in general since my mother was also a school nurse and I’d be there a lot and helping out and even joining that field of work. I’ve always felt a strong connection towards kids especially ones i’ve spent long hours with, always felt like there was something more I felt but didn’t know what it was. I remember one girl really changed it for me when I noticed i started to feel a certain way about how she looked and acted. It wasn’t just a I deeply care about you feeling anymore it was something more like sexually and romantically. I obviously felt weird about myself thinking thoughts that weren’t so pure about the children I saw daily and thought I was weird and disgusting, the way the world wants to make me think. It really sucked too because I am bisexual (which kinda ties into the next question) and i’ve struggled a lot with being discriminated against for being bi so in the back of my mind I was like there’s no way I can ever be open about this or things like people will not like me even more or people will hate me. I obviously have never came out as a MAP to people I know in person, only ever people online but even then never really went into full detail. I could be getting a little off topic so sorry about that lol. Anyways, as I started being more around kids, I had more desires and I kept getting more and more. I even remember the first time I “got myself off” to something related to younger and felt totally weird about it at first but it def was something I haven’t felt before. It did start getting really difficult being around children all the time when the back of mind was thinking “unholy” thoughts lol but i truly deeply care about children and their well-being and safety.

As for why I think why minor attraction is mostly a male thing I’m not entirely sure, could be a primal thing (if that makes sense) because if you really look at it males have been dating and having sex with children since history started being recorded. I think as a female it’s slightly harder for us to come out about this topic since we are seen as “mothers who love and protect children” and the world sees minor attraction as harmful. We are out here but we are def more silent about things. Like this is the most open i’ve been about my attraction ever so it is a bit new to me still.

So yeah basically in conclusion, I started having those attractions really strong in my late teens, it hasn’t gotten less or anything, I still have a very strong attraction to minors to the point where people my age or even close don’t do it for me at all. I would say I couldn’t hook up or date anyone over 15 and even then that’s a little old for my personal taste, its not my fault its just who i’m attracted to. Without revealing too much I still work with kids in a way and love them all to death! I would never harm them or put them in danger. I’m very supportive of the MAP community and have other things I’d like to share. Also I’m very happy to answer any questions anyone has! I’m a really open person!

[PorcelainLark]

Also I’m very happy to answer any questions anyone has! I’m a really open person!

Could I ask about a few questions relating to the body shape of children you find attractive? I have certain theories about this. I'll write the questions here, and feel free not to answer if you'd prefer not to. I'll put the purposes of the more awkward questions in at the bottom, I'd use spoilers but they don't seem to be working.

How do you feel about hebephilia versus pedophilia and nepophilia? Do early adolescents tend to appeal to you for the kinds of traits they have, or is it more when they retain traits from early stages (i.e. looking younger than they are)?

How do you feel about femininity and masculinity in terms of the appearance of youths? For example, do you find girls with waist-to-hip ratios closer to hourglass figures more attractive; likewise, do you prefer boys with broader shoulders? Do you tend to find taller minors more attractive or less attractive? Most importantly, for part of my theory, do you tend to prefer girls to boys*1?

These final two questions may sound perverted. I apologize for asking, but do any of your fantasies relate to breast feeding**2? Do you think your sex drive is higher than average compared to other women***3?


*1 My theory is that female pedophilia is related to homosexuality, since the traits that are typically associated with appealing to heterosexual women (and some homosexual men) are body hair, height, deep voices, and broad shoulders. All these traits are almost the polar opposite of the appearance of children, so it raises the question what a non-exclusive heterosexual female MAPs attraction would be primarily directed towards. With homosexual women there is still a difference, but it isn't a polarized as heterosexual women, if they turn out to be a MAP.

**2 My theory is that male pedophilia is a third kind of androgyny in biological males (along with being homosexual or being transgender). It relates to study concerning maternal behavior in male rats and their sexual behavior. I can't remember the exact details, but my take away was that maternal behavior in males manifested itself like pedophilia; for a woman there are more biological causes and social acceptance for bodily contact with a child. Giving birth and breastfeeding mean there is close physical contact to the erogenous zones of the female body. I think if you combine maternal instincts with a male sex drive, you get something which isn't as tender.

***3 My theory is that the reason you see less female pedophiles is because women tend to have a lower sex drive, or at least one that tends to manifest itself in different ways.

[eveeve]

I’d be happy to answer any questions! I don’t mind awkward questions at all. (also sorry if my answers seem all of the place, like i said this is still very new to me to be this open about my attraction)

For me personally i’m more of a pedophile compared to a hepephile, usually when I see an attractive child i tend to more attracted towards childlike features. Don’t get me wrong at all there have been plenty of early teens i have found extremely attractive but most of them have childlike features they have retained from early stages. So yeah to answer your first question yes early adolescent children are way more appealing to me because of their physically traits, I do have said in the past the more childlike features the better for my attraction. For my thoughts on Nepiophilia, there have been times where i’ve thought to myself a young child around that age was attractive and even got some sort of arousal from it but personally i prefer the child to have a little more facial features and figure to them. And this isn’t a jab at nepiophiles at all it’s just not my cup of tea but I can see the appeal of it!

For the next question on femininity and masculinity, for girls I tend to lean more to the side of childlike, petite and slim (apologies for sounding pervy) appearances. Basically I like when girls have more childlike features with a little bit of figure to them, that’s the best way I can put it. For me
personally I think the age of 7-9 is the perfect age for girls, even my AoA for girls is 5-14, they still have a childlike face, slim childlike body(again sorry for sounding pervy), short, but they start to get a nice early teen body which I really like in girls. Also this isn’t a physical attraction I have but I do find the way girls act around those ages to be very attractive, I am also very attracted to child behavior as well. For boys, it is a little different, i do prefer boys around ages 7 and up and i do like when they start getting a little muscle mass but still have those childlike qualities about them in their appearance. I still like when they aren’t that tall and shoulders aren’t that broad as normal teenagers are. I do tend to find older looker minors less attractive mostly because like I said I do find childlike qualities very attractive. And for the last part I do find that I am more attracted to girls than boys, I’ve been bi since as long as I can remember and even when I was younger I always found myself more attracted to girls than boys. Even though I do like both still!

For the last 2 questions, I don’t think my fantasies are that related to breastfeeding, but I will say without going too much into detail, breastfeeding is a very intimate thing between mother and child, and that most def has an impact on female pedophilia. I wouldn’t be surprised if most female pedophilia comes from that, for me that wasn’t the case because I did feel the attraction towards children in my late teens.

I absolutely think my sex drive is higher than most woman, (without sounding like too much of a perv again and hopefully I’m able to say this), I do tend to find myself masturbating a few times daily, which is was more than other woman my age. I still think I have the same if not a little higher of a sex drive than when i was a teenager. When I was around 12/13 I would religiously be in my room exploring my teenage parts lol. Most of my friends my age I have don’t seem to relate to my high sex drive. So that def could be a factor for it as well.

I don’t mind perverted or awkward sounding questions at all! It actually feels very nice to get these things off my chest and be open for once. If you have any more i’d be more than happy to answer them all! Let me know if I missed anything or misinterpret a question!

[WavesInEternity]

Could I ask about a few questions relating to the body shape of children you find attractive? I have certain theories about this.

Your theories are really interesting, especially the first two but also the third. If you can find proper academic references, I think you should write a guest blog about them. I could co-author it if it helps.

The predictions of your theories seem spot-on regarding eveeve. On the male side, well, I've often been called androgynous, and my preferences also match a lot of what eveeve says, although I'm exclusively heterosexual.

As for the third aspect of your theory, I don't think it's correct to say that females normally have a "lower" sex drive, but it's definitely different. The typical male sex drive is more about "wanting/taking", while for females it's more about "being wanted/taken". For males, it's more visual and explicit ("god she's so cute! I love x and y about her body"); for females, it's more relational and implicit ("hm, I think there's a lot that's attractive about that guy friend"). I've experienced both types, and can attest to them being very different processes that nonetheless both produce the same result—sexual arousal—in the end.

If you have any more i’d be more than happy to answer them all!

eveeve, would you describe your sex drive as more "masculine" or more "feminine" according to what I've written above?

[eveeve]

Well now that you have mentioned those points, I do think i may have a more masculine sex drive. because when i do see children I’m attracted to it’s more want/take like you said. But I do have to say I have had female friends in the past who are heterosexual and prefer of age guys who have a high sex drives and do have “masculine sex drives” as wanting to take and want. But yeah for me personally when I see children I am attracted to most def want them lol

[PorcelainLark]

I’d be happy to answer any questions! I don’t mind awkward questions at all. (also sorry if my answers seem all of the place, like i said this is still very new to me to be this open about my attraction)

I'm glad, still, because I sometimes do surveys, I like to make sure the people I'm talking to are comfortable as a matter of course. If you're happy, I'm happy!

For me personally i’m more of a pedophile compared to a hepephile, usually when I see an attractive child i tend to more attracted towards childlike features. Don’t get me wrong at all there have been plenty of early teens i have found extremely attractive but most of them have childlike features they have retained from early stages. So yeah to answer your first question yes early adolescent children are way more appealing to me because of their physically traits, I do have said in the past the more childlike features the better for my attraction.

This gave me an idea. Maybe, proportionally speaking, female MAPs tend to be more pedophilic/nepiophilic than male MAPs, and likewise less hebephilic than male MAPs?

For my thoughts on Nepiophilia, there have been times where i’ve thought to myself a young child around that age was attractive and even got some sort of arousal from it but personally i prefer the child to have a little more facial features and figure to them. And this isn’t a jab at nepiophiles at all it’s just not my cup of tea but I can see the appeal of it!

I've wondered about this before, if MAPs are attracted to neoteny why wouldn't there be more nepiophiles?

For the next question on femininity and masculinity, for girls I tend to lean more to the side of childlike, petite and slim (apologies for sounding pervy) appearances.

No worries about sounding pervy. As long as you aren't being too explicit, I don't think you're breaking any rules.

Basically I like when girls have more childlike features with a little bit of figure to them, that’s the best way I can put it. For me
personally I think the age of 7-9 is the perfect age for girls, even my AoA for girls is 5-14, they still have a childlike face, slim childlike body(again sorry for sounding pervy), short, but they start to get a nice early teen body which I really like in girls.

My ideal age of attraction is exactly 7-9 too! It's difficult to define why that particular shape is appealing. A while ago I was trying to work out how you could define that appearance without reference to the stages of development before and after that point. It's puzzling...

For boys, it is a little different, i do prefer boys around ages 7 and up and i do like when they start getting a little muscle mass but still have those childlike qualities about them in their appearance. I still like when they aren’t that tall and shoulders aren’t that broad as normal teenagers are. I do tend to find older looker minors less attractive mostly because like I said I do find childlike qualities very attractive. And for the last part I do find that I am more attracted to girls than boys, I’ve been bi since as long as I can remember and even when I was younger I always found myself more attracted to girls than boys. Even though I do like both still!

This is interesting stuff, thank you for sharing. I'd really like to find out if this is common across most women who are MAPs.

For the last 2 questions, I don’t think my fantasies are that related to breastfeeding, but I will say without going too much into detail, breastfeeding is a very intimate thing between mother and child, and that most def has an impact on female pedophilia. I wouldn’t be surprised if most female pedophilia comes from that, for me that wasn’t the case because I did feel the attraction towards children in my late teens.

There was this really interesting article on Newgon about parenthood and pedophilia that contributed to my speculation about this.
https://wiki.yesmap.net/wiki/Debate_Gui ... pedophilia
Of course, it's not a foregone conclusion, but it's interesting to think about.

I absolutely think my sex drive is higher than most woman, (without sounding like too much of a perv again and hopefully I’m able to say this), I do tend to find myself masturbating a few times daily, which is was more than other woman my age. I still think I have the same if not a little higher of a sex drive than when i was a teenager. When I was around 12/13 I would religiously be in my room exploring my teenage parts lol. Most of my friends my age I have don’t seem to relate to my high sex drive. So that def could be a factor for it as well.

Maybe this accounts for the rarity of female MAPs: it requires some homosexual tendencies (which tends to be the minority of the total population) along with an abnormally high libido. Having said that, I did know someone who was an AFAB asexual MAP, so it's much too soon to draw conclusions.

I don’t mind perverted or awkward sounding questions at all! It actually feels very nice to get these things off my chest and be open for once. If you have any more i’d be more than happy to answer them all! Let me know if I missed anything or misinterpret a question!

I'm glad, I'll make a mental note. Female MAPs are an understudied population, and I expect it's little uncomfortable or irritating for some people to be asked a lot of questions. It's a good opportunity, though. I don't think you missed or misinterpreted anything. Thanks for the help!

Your theories are really interesting, especially the first two but also the third. If you can find proper academic references, I think you should write a guest blog about them. I could co-author it if it helps.

Thanks! I'll see, I'm kind of more at home with spitballing ideas than creating finished products. Not to say it'll never happen, just that the combination of having a clear sense of how you want things to be with a low capacity to stay organized, means it's a bit tricky.

The predictions of your theories seem spot-on regarding eveeve. On the male side, well, I've often been called androgynous, and my preferences also match a lot of what eveeve says, although I'm exclusively heterosexual.

I had this idea you might be able to pick up subliminally on whether a person is a MAP (kind of like gaydar), at least when it comes to men based on if they are feminine but not gay or trans. This is getting into conspiracy territory but, for example, consider Roman Polanski (let's assume for a moment that he was a MAP and not an opportunistic offender); there's something distinctly feminine about him, to my perspective.

As for the third aspect of your theory, I don't think it's correct to say that females normally have a "lower" sex drive, but it's definitely different. The typical male sex drive is more about "wanting/taking", while for females it's more about "being wanted/taken". For males, it's more visual and explicit ("god she's so cute! I love x and y about her body"); for females, it's more relational and implicit ("hm, I think there's a lot that's attractive about that guy friend"). I've experienced both types, and can attest to them being very different processes that nonetheless both produce the same result—sexual arousal—in the end.

To be honest, the third is the one I'm least committed to. It's the most recent and least fleshed out.

[WavesInEternity]

Thanks! I'll see, I'm kind of more at home with spitballing ideas than creating finished products. Not to say it'll never happen, just that the combination of having a clear sense of how you want things to be with a low capacity to stay organized, means it's a bit tricky.

I already know you enough to be aware of that. It's partly why I offered to co-author, since I'm quite good at structuring my thoughts and producing well-organized writing. The fact that we have extremely different personalities could potentially make us complementary. I've often worked in tandem with others on essays with the general division of work being "they brainstorm, I organize".

I had this idea you might be able to pick up subliminally on whether a person is a MAP (kind of like gaydar), at least when it comes to men based on if they are feminine but not gay or trans. This is getting into conspiracy territory but, for example, consider Roman Polanski (let's assume for a moment that he was a MAP and not an opportunistic offender); there's something distinctly feminine about him, to my perspective.

That sounds a bit far-fetched! Something that complicates matters further is that while I've been described as "androgynous" because of my aesthetics (I love cute and pretty things) and my extreme sensitivity (especially sensory, but also emotional), I have high-functioning autism, and autism has been theorized to be a matter of an "extreme male brain" according to the empathising-systemising theory. While the theory is controversial, considering that the first three words I uttered were all about mechanisms and had nothing at all to do with people—no "mommy" or "daddy" here... those came much later—it's clear that I'm innately more on the "systemising" side.