Self intro

[KryptikMisfit]

Hey guys,

Wanted to introduce myself since I plan on being around a while to learn more about the community and try to keep up on the research. I'd like to make some new friends as well.

Anywho, a bit about me. I'm a 33 year old man from the USA. I'm a MAP for sure, but I'm not exclusive. My AOA is 10+, and I'm straight. I'm open to talk to pretty much anyone, and if anyone has any questions, I'll answer to the best of my ability.

It's been a hell of a journey to get to where I'm at now with this side of me. I've come to accept that it's a part of me, and it doesn't make me a bad person. I've done quite a bit of research and reading to learn as much as I could about this, and it's helped me a lot. The hardest time that I've dealt with was when my entire friend group learned about me being a MAP, and all but one of them, including people I've known for 10+ years, turned against me or just decided that they didn't want to associate with me anymore. That was about 2.5 years ago, and I'm still recovering from it. For the most part, I'm in a better place now, but the loneliness can get overwhelming sometimes.

Well, I'll leave it at that for now. I'm excited to meet new people that I can be open about this with.

[Jim Burton]

Welcome.

I wonder... how did you manage to out yourself like that?

[WavesInEternity]

Welcome, glad to see you here, fellow male gynephilic non-exclusive MAP in his 30s.

I've got the same question as Jim here. How did that happen?

In my case, all my friends already knew I was into lolicon (I mean, I had SFW-but-subtly-pervy posters and mouse pads like this, and figurines that were even more risqué)... so when I decided to disclose that I was actually into real little girls, too, none of them were the least bit surprised nor had any issues with it. I was lucky to have such open-minded friends. My family was another matter... a few family members I cared about no longer talk to me.

Another question: how non-exclusive are you? I'm only barely so, as I'm more than 99% attracted to minors and less than 1% to adults. Many people who don't know I'm a MAP think I'm just by far the pickiest straight guy they've ever met.

[KryptikMisfit]

Welcome.

I wonder... how did you manage to out yourself like that?

Long story short, I was not in a good mental state about being a MAP, so I found an obviously fake profile that I started interacting with. That led to me being arrested (no convictions or records of it because the charges were dropped for reasons unknown), and the people who ran the profile posted the video online. Someone who watched that video decided to find my facebook and reach out to one of my friends with a link to the video. That friend started a group chat and shared it with everyone, and the rest has already been told.

Since then, I've protected myself a lot more and found my way into a much better mental state.

[Aspire6]

Welcome to Mu, Kryptik! Hope to see you around chatting!

[BLueRibbon]

Welcome.

I wonder... how did you manage to out yourself like that?

Long story short, I was not in a good mental state about being a MAP, so I found an obviously fake profile that I started interacting with. That led to me being arrested (no convictions or records of it because the charges were dropped for reasons unknown), and the people who ran the profile posted the video online. Someone who watched that video decided to find my facebook and reach out to one of my friends with a link to the video. That friend started a group chat and shared it with everyone, and the rest has already been told.

Since then, I've protected myself a lot more and found my way into a much better mental state.

Sorry to hear about your experience. Fuck those bullies! I hope one day a group of fake 'targets' will get together and rough up those vigilantes a bit (not recommending it).

[WavesInEternity]

Long story short, I was not in a good mental state about being a MAP, so I found an obviously fake profile that I started interacting with. That led to me being arrested (no convictions or records of it because the charges were dropped for reasons unknown), and the people who ran the profile posted the video online. Someone who watched that video decided to find my facebook and reach out to one of my friends with a link to the video. That friend started a group chat and shared it with everyone, and the rest has already been told.

Since then, I've protected myself a lot more and found my way into a much better mental state.

I see. That's really the worst-case type of scenario to be "outed" as a MAP, as it paints you as a so-called "predator". By contrast, I could very convincingly tell my friends that I had those desires but would never act upon them (I was actually strictly anti-c at the time, although my stance is more moderate now).

It can be hard not to take risks online as a MAP... when I was younger, the sexual frustration did make me do some things that I'd consider unreasonable today. Some of the worst things about those vigilantes is that: 1) they never pretend to be actual children, always adolescents; 2) the adolescents generally act in a fashion that's clearly willing. It's [... - mod] and corresponds to normal male sexual behaviour even by clinical standards! (Judging by your stated age of attraction, you're mostly a hebephile, not strictly a paedophile, and hebephilia isn't recognized as a mental illness at all, despite controversial calls to include it in the DSM.)

[KryptikMisfit]

Sorry to hear about your experience. Fuck those bullies! I hope one day a group of fake 'targets' will get together and rough up those vigilantes a bit (not recommending it).

I appreciate your concern, thank you. ^_^ I was extremely lucky. I only spent a day in jail, and that's the most that I got. I don't even know why the charges were dropped; they never told me. All they said was the charges were dropped and pending investigation. After I left the jail, I've never heard from them since.

As for the dickheads that "tricked" me (there was no trick because I knew that it wasn't real), they had a good laugh afterward and tried to contact me again a little while back, but I immediately blocked them and haven't heard from them since. They'll likely get some kind of comeuppance eventually. People like that always do.

I see. That's really the worst-case type of scenario to be "outed" as a MAP, as it paints you as a so-called "predator". By contrast, I could very convincingly tell my friends that I had those desires but would never act upon them (I was actually strictly anti-c at the time, although my stance is more moderate now).

It can be hard not to take risks online as a MAP... when I was younger, the sexual frustration did make me do some things that I'd consider unreasonable today. Some of the worst things about those vigilantes is that: 1) they never pretend to be actual children, always adolescents; 2) the adolescents generally act in a fashion that's clearly willing. It corresponds to normal male sexual behaviour even by clinical standards! (Judging by your stated age of attraction, you're mostly a hebephile, not strictly a paedophile, and hebephilia isn't recognized as a mental illness at all, despite controversial calls to include it in the DSM.)

I honestly doubt that I would've been able to come out to any of my friends without them having that reaction. It may not have been as bad, but it definitely would've still been bad. Either way, thanks to the one friend who didn't abandon me, I learned that the friend group rapidly fell apart between then and now. In the end, I think I'm better off not having to deal with all the drama that came after.

I'm not afraid of taking risks. It's all about what kind of risks they are and how much time I've given myself to weigh the options. Those guys were excessively obvious about not being a real girl. The majority of the time they were just talking about playing with barbies and couldn't hold a real conversation. That caused me to get bored of them, and I was just about to move on when they decided to make their move. To this day, I can't tell you exactly why I decided to go along with it while knowing it was a trap.

You would be correct in saying that I'm more hebephilic. In all honesty, I have a sexual attraction to girls as young as 7, but I don't like the thought of acting on a purely sexual basis. I prefer meaningful relationships. The problem with the differences in age ranges is that they've all been arbitrarily grouped together under the label of pedophilia, and the layman doesn't usually care to learn the difference.

[WavesInEternity]

I honestly doubt that I would've been able to come out to any of my friends without them having that reaction. It may not have been as bad, but it definitely would've still been bad. Either way, thanks to the one friend who didn't abandon me, I learned that the friend group rapidly fell apart between then and now. In the end, I think I'm better off not having to deal with all the drama that came after.

I see. I guess they wouldn't have been friends with you in the first place if you had the sort of posters, mouse pads, figurines, etc. I had in my room/apartment (see my first post in this thread). You're most likely already doing so now, but I strongly recommend gradually surveying the terrain, so to speak, when making friends. I have many ways to subtly imply my preferences without explicitly stating them, and I'd never become intimate (either as a friend or as a lover) with someone who reacts negatively to lolicon.

I'm not afraid of taking risks. It's all about what kind of risks they are and how much time I've given myself to weigh the options. Those guys were excessively obvious about not being a real girl. The majority of the time they were just talking about playing with barbies and couldn't hold a real conversation. That caused me to get bored of them, and I was just about to move on when they decided to make their move. To this day, I can't tell you exactly why I decided to go along with it while knowing it was a trap.

Self-destructive actions are often hard to explain...

You would be correct in saying that I'm more hebephilic. In all honesty, I have a sexual attraction to girls as young as 7, but I don't like the thought of acting on a purely sexual basis. I prefer meaningful relationships. The problem with the differences in age ranges is that they've all been arbitrarily grouped together under the label of pedophilia, and the layman doesn't usually care to learn the difference.

I do generally find that older young girls (13+) have more interesting personalities, but there are some below that age that I can truly fall in love with, when they're exceptionally smart and mature for their age. I've had some girls below 10—one 7-year-old distant cousin in particular—that I really did connect with on a more personal level, although I couldn't quite have the kind of deep philosophical discussions I love with them. I tend to find girls most visually attractive between roughly 8 and 12, but to have a better balance of personality and looks between 10 and 14, so the latter is what I'd describe as my "ideal age range".

[KryptikMisfit]

Another question: how non-exclusive are you? I'm only barely so, as I'm more than 99% attracted to minors and less than 1% to adults. Many people who don't know I'm a MAP think I'm just by far the pickiest straight guy they've ever met.

Sorry, i just realized that I totally missed this part of your first post. My bad. I'm definitely exclusively attracted to girls who are younger than me, with a few exceptions depending on physical attraction, but if I had to put a percentage on it, I'd probly say it's about 85% for girls under 15, 13% for girls between 15 and 25, and 2% for girls 26 and up. Tho, one somewhat painful attraction i currently have is for my boss who's 29. It's only painful because there's absolutely zero chance of anything happening with it, so I'm intentionally keeping it to myself.

I'm much slower with making friends now, that's for sure. Even to the point that I haven't made any new ones over the last couple years. It also doesn't help that i rarely have the time, money, or desire to go out.

I do generally find that older young girls (13+) have more interesting personalities, but there are some below that age that I can truly fall in love with, when they're exceptionally smart and mature for their age. I've had some girls below 10—one 7-year-old distant cousin in particular—that I really did connect with on a more personal level, although I couldn't quite have the kind of deep philosophical discussions I love with them. I tend to find girls most visually attractive between roughly 8 and 12, but to have a better balance of personality and looks between 10 and 14, so the latter is what I'd describe as my "ideal age range".

I totally agree with you here. I've met a few girls between 7 and 10 that I could have formed a strong bond with. plus they were really cute to boot! I currently have a cousin, she's my cousins daughter, who I'm really close with, and she's 8. She'll be 9 this year. I first met her when she was 5, and she quickly decided that I was her favorite cousin. Well last summer, we were at a family gathering, and just before it was over, while I was playing with her and carrying her around in a princess hold (like carrying the bride across the threshold), she looked at me and said "I wouldn't mind if you took me home with you," and my heart melted while my excitement skyrocketed. So she got to come stay the night with me.