Hello from the Netherlands

[neveragain72]

Hello to everyone reading this, I am a 53 year old man, father of 3 daughters and two sons, divorced and I am from the Netherlands.

I like girls very much especially when they are still pre-pubescent. My AoA is mostly between 2 -10 but because I am not exclusive I find older girls and women attractive too. But pre-pubescent girls are the most attractive to me.

I have fully accepted myself as a MAP, but that has not always been the case. In my younger years when I started to explore sexuality I was at peace with the fact that, unlike the few acquaintances I had, I was also attracted to young physically undeveloped girls. But when I got married that changed drastically. The problem was mainly that I could not give myself completely to my wife during sexual acts without thinking of young girls. I started to feel quite guilty about that.

Physically and mentally, sex with my wife did not give me the satisfaction I needed. But despite that, we had sex and children were born. Until then, I dared to look at a beautiful girl on the street. But when my eldest daughter was born, my wife started to keep an eye on me more and more and became suspicious.
She had heard stories about me, one of those stories was that I once went to a nudist campsite with a friend and his family and that I was sent away because I got an erection while watching girls playing in a playground. That story was true, my only excuse is that I think it's a fantastic sight when little girls can play so freely, unhindered and carefree. I also had no intention of doing anything with them or anything. I just sat quietly on a bench enjoying the scene that was unfolding before me. Of course I also understand that if a teenager sits naked on a bench with a rock hard erection while he watches little naked girls playing, it gives a certain impression.

Now she comes from a nudist family and also knew that erections can't always be prevented. Based on that I was able to talk my way out of the story she had heard about me.Fortunately I also managed to convince her that I was not a danger to any child and that I love children very much and that was not a lie. I love children and would never want to hurt them. That is why I also managed to convince my wife to continue the nudist life that she was used to with her parents in our own family.

So when the temperature allowed it we did not bother to get dressed when we were at home. We also went to nudist resorts and beaches together. Now I do not want to claim that I never got an erection again when I visited such places, I knew how to hide it better now. Yes I know very well that nudism has nothing to do with sexuality. But every nudist can tell you that sex feels much better after a visit to such a place. I am still a practicing nudist. These days I only go to nudist beaches for the simple fact that as a man you are usually refused entry to nudist places.

But as I have said I have been blessed to have three daughters and two sons. Now I have also said that I have a preference for pre-pubescent girls and I admit my relationship with them has not always been typical. Let me make one thing clear I have never done anything to them that was against their will.

That just goes to show that when I got caught with files on my computer that shouldn't have been there. My daughters never said a word about our relationship. As far as I know, they always liked it. That has always been my first priority, making my children happy in whatever way possible.

When I was caught with those files on my computer and I think everyone reading this knows what kind of files I mean, I went into therapy almost immediately. Something that was also beneficial during my case in court and my conviction. I don't find my conviction and punishment that interesting. I was wrong and had to pay for it. What I do find important is that I had a team of excellent therapists. Who did not emphasize that I had done something wrong but who gave me back the feeling of self-acceptance.
My wife now ex-wife unfortunately saw it very differently, she is convinced that I am a dangerous pedosexual and wants nothing more to do with me. Also, when it all came out, she forbade the children to contact me. I miss them very much and I hope that I can see them again in the future.

But in no way do I plan to change myself. I am a pedophile and I am proud of myself for admitting it and living with it.

Thank you all for reading this, i am always open for questions or a friendly chat.
Peter.

[Fragment]

I made some small changes to your post. You were arrested for images, so that doesn't break the rules. But you should not even appear to imply illegal activity you have never been convicted for.

Welcome, though. I'm glad you are staying strong and owning your sexuality, even though it has brought you a lot of hurt.

[neveragain72]

Thank you for explaining it and your adjustment. I will keep it in mind. Also thank you for your welcome.

[HumanBeing]

Welcome to Mu Forum Peter! , I like the fact you are proud about being a MAP (sadly not many MAPs are capable of accepting themselves in that way nowadays).

As I said in a previous post "I personally think that being ourselves despite being part of a opressed group like MAPs and AAMs only make us more human than the average (because its no easy to be a good person when most people think we are "monsters")"

I hope you enjoy your time here

[neveragain72]

Welcome to Mu Forum Peter! , I like the fact you are proud about being a MAP (sadly not many MAPs are capable of accepting themselves in that way nowadays).

As I said in a previous post "I personally think that being ourselves despite being part of a opressed group like MAPs and AAMs only make us more human than the average (because its no easy to be a good person when most people think we are "monsters")"

I hope you enjoy your time here

First of all thank you for your kind words.

You are absolutely right about the fact that it can be hard to remain a good person and accept yourself, while others people talk about you not knowing that you have these feelings for little children in my case girls too. When they say how pedophiles need to be put down in the most horrible way and you are just standing there Listening and not saying anything because you are afraid of being recognized as a pedophile.

It happened to me multiple times in the past.. But sinds i have fully accepted myself i can defend the pedophile community more than before when I kept quiet and was afraid of being noticed myself. I still don't make myself known as a pedophile, but I do go against the barbaric statements that people apparently find quite normal when there is another pedophile in the news for whatever reason. Then I often ask if they know what happened? if they were there? But also sometimes if they themselves are struggling with similar feelings and that is why they react so harshly? Usually that ends in even more insults, but now aimed at me. I don't care about that anymore. I don't want to have anything to do with people who make such statements.

I don't have a problem with someone who disagrees with my views on pedophilia. But as long as you keep talking to each other in a decent and respectful way, I'm the last person who would run away from such a conversation. Then I always think that fortunately there are still people who have the peace and intellectual capacity to defend their own opinion in a respectful way, but also have the will to listen to someone else. After that, you don't have to agree with each other. But you have been able to defend your own feelings and thoughts. Yes, I have erotic feelings for little girls, but I am proud that I know how to deal with them without harming anyone. Does that make me a monster? I don't think so.

[Valerian]

It is quite surprising to learn that any male erection in the Nudists camp are banned. However, I am curious to know whether same rules applied inside their family, at homes. How can any such nudist family able to engage in their day-to-day activities interactions especially when there are teenage daughters and sons’ sisters and brothers living together? Will the family exile the sons for failing this litmus test? By the way, what about the women? How can anyone know, or are they exempted from it? Can I ask one more sensitive question, is Masturbation before entering the camp or in hiding inside enable them to manage it?
Are there any scientific, psychological, or clinical studies that have examined how nudist family deal with their day-to-day way of life including sexuality inside their family?

[neveragain72]

It is quite surprising to learn that any male erection in the Nudists camp are banned. However, I am curious to know whether same rules applied inside their family, at homes. How can any such nudist family able to engage in their day-to-day activities interactions especially when there are teenage daughters and sons’ sisters and brothers living together? Will the family exile the sons for failing this litmus test? By the way, what about the women? How can anyone know, or are they exempted from it? Can I ask one more sensitive question, is Masturbation before entering the camp or in hiding inside enable them to manage it?
Are there any scientific, psychological, or clinical studies that have examined how nudist family deal with their day-to-day way of life including sexuality inside their family?

Good questions, most nudist resorts don't want a man to openly display his erection' Which I personally find ridiculous because as a man there is usually nothing you can do about it.

When I look at my own family, we have always been quite nonchalant about it. I have two sons and three daughters. Even at a very young age, boys sometimes get an erection. We have always been very normal about it. It is something natural and we just let it happen. Although my wife did not always like it when I got an erection in the presence of the children. Then she would have preferred me to hide it. But when she was not at home or nearby, I just let it happen and did not hide anything.

As a family we have also been to nudist beaches and resorts quite often. Now I have to admit that I always masturbated quickly just before time and sometimes during such a visit. Especially when there were many girls from my AoA present

Of course never openly, but if you pay close attention you will see that there were more men who quickly had to do something about their excitement under their towel

[Valerian]

neveragain72;I had generally believed that nudist families were among the most progressive, sexually liberal, and open minded in the matter’s humans’ natural sexual behaviors as some times they like to call themselves as naturalist. However, after reading your posts, I realized this assumption may have been misguided. Nudist in this case, appears to be irrational, even more hypocritical and pretentious than the general population when it comes to honesty about their sexuality. Perhaps it’s possible that the issue lies in individual choices—perhaps you married someone whose conservative views were at odds with the core values typically associated with nudist cultures. This raises the question of how individuals with such conflicting beliefs can coexist within a social framework that claims to uphold progressive liberal ideals.
Or perhaps, they try to justify their sexual hypocrisy to co-op with to the prevailing laws and stigmatization against MAP as a whole.

[Pegasus]

Hello to everyone reading this, I am a 53 year old man, father of 3 daughters and two sons, divorced and I am from the Netherlands.

I like girls very much especially when they are still pre-pubescent. My AoA is mostly between 2 -10 but because I am not exclusive I find older girls and women attractive too. But pre-pubescent girls are the most attractive to me.

I have fully accepted myself as a MAP, but that has not always been the case. In my younger years when I started to explore sexuality I was at peace with the fact that, unlike the few acquaintances I had, I was also attracted to young physically undeveloped girls. But when I got married that changed drastically. The problem was mainly that I could not give myself completely to my wife during sexual acts without thinking of young girls. I started to feel quite guilty about that.

Physically and mentally, sex with my wife did not give me the satisfaction I needed. But despite that, we had sex and children were born. Until then, I dared to look at a beautiful girl on the street. But when my eldest daughter was born, my wife started to keep an eye on me more and more and became suspicious.
She had heard stories about me, one of those stories was that I once went to a nudist campsite with a friend and his family and that I was sent away because I got an erection while watching girls playing in a playground. That story was true, my only excuse is that I think it's a fantastic sight when little girls can play so freely, unhindered and carefree. I also had no intention of doing anything with them or anything. I just sat quietly on a bench enjoying the scene that was unfolding before me. Of course I also understand that if a teenager sits naked on a bench with a rock hard erection while he watches little naked girls playing, it gives a certain impression.

Now she comes from a nudist family and also knew that erections can't always be prevented. Based on that I was able to talk my way out of the story she had heard about me.Fortunately I also managed to convince her that I was not a danger to any child and that I love children very much and that was not a lie. I love children and would never want to hurt them. That is why I also managed to convince my wife to continue the nudist life that she was used to with her parents in our own family.

So when the temperature allowed it we did not bother to get dressed when we were at home. We also went to nudist resorts and beaches together. Now I do not want to claim that I never got an erection again when I visited such places, I knew how to hide it better now. Yes I know very well that nudism has nothing to do with sexuality. But every nudist can tell you that sex feels much better after a visit to such a place. I am still a practicing nudist. These days I only go to nudist beaches for the simple fact that as a man you are usually refused entry to nudist places.

But as I have said I have been blessed to have three daughters and two sons. Now I have also said that I have a preference for pre-pubescent girls and I admit my relationship with them has not always been typical. Let me make one thing clear I have never done anything to them that was against their will.

That just goes to show that when I got caught with files on my computer that shouldn't have been there. My daughters never said a word about our relationship. As far as I know, they always liked it. That has always been my first priority, making my children happy in whatever way possible.

When I was caught with those files on my computer and I think everyone reading this knows what kind of files I mean, I went into therapy almost immediately. Something that was also beneficial during my case in court and my conviction. I don't find my conviction and punishment that interesting. I was wrong and had to pay for it. What I do find important is that I had a team of excellent therapists. Who did not emphasize that I had done something wrong but who gave me back the feeling of self-acceptance.
My wife now ex-wife unfortunately saw it very differently, she is convinced that I am a dangerous pedosexual and wants nothing more to do with me. Also, when it all came out, she forbade the children to contact me. I miss them very much and I hope that I can see them again in the future.

But in no way do I plan to change myself. I am a pedophile and I am proud of myself for admitting it and living with it.

Thank you all for reading this, i am always open for questions or a friendly chat.
Peter.

Hello, welcome. Compared to the Netherlands in the 1970s, which was producing films and then closed down in the early 1980s, what can we say about the Netherlands today? What are your guidelines on this subject and what do Dutch families think about such matters, including, of course, us map?

[neveragain72]

Hello to everyone reading this, I am a 53 year old man, father of 3 daughters and two sons, divorced and I am from the Netherlands.

I like girls very much especially when they are still pre-pubescent. My AoA is mostly between 2 -10 but because I am not exclusive I find older girls and women attractive too. But pre-pubescent girls are the most attractive to me.

I have fully accepted myself as a MAP, but that has not always been the case. In my younger years when I started to explore sexuality I was at peace with the fact that, unlike the few acquaintances I had, I was also attracted to young physically undeveloped girls. But when I got married that changed drastically. The problem was mainly that I could not give myself completely to my wife during sexual acts without thinking of young girls. I started to feel quite guilty about that.

Physically and mentally, sex with my wife did not give me the satisfaction I needed. But despite that, we had sex and children were born. Until then, I dared to look at a beautiful girl on the street. But when my eldest daughter was born, my wife started to keep an eye on me more and more and became suspicious.
She had heard stories about me, one of those stories was that I once went to a nudist campsite with a friend and his family and that I was sent away because I got an erection while watching girls playing in a playground. That story was true, my only excuse is that I think it's a fantastic sight when little girls can play so freely, unhindered and carefree. I also had no intention of doing anything with them or anything. I just sat quietly on a bench enjoying the scene that was unfolding before me. Of course I also understand that if a teenager sits naked on a bench with a rock hard erection while he watches little naked girls playing, it gives a certain impression.

Now she comes from a nudist family and also knew that erections can't always be prevented. Based on that I was able to talk my way out of the story she had heard about me.Fortunately I also managed to convince her that I was not a danger to any child and that I love children very much and that was not a lie. I love children and would never want to hurt them. That is why I also managed to convince my wife to continue the nudist life that she was used to with her parents in our own family.

So when the temperature allowed it we did not bother to get dressed when we were at home. We also went to nudist resorts and beaches together. Now I do not want to claim that I never got an erection again when I visited such places, I knew how to hide it better now. Yes I know very well that nudism has nothing to do with sexuality. But every nudist can tell you that sex feels much better after a visit to such a place. I am still a practicing nudist. These days I only go to nudist beaches for the simple fact that as a man you are usually refused entry to nudist places.

But as I have said I have been blessed to have three daughters and two sons. Now I have also said that I have a preference for pre-pubescent girls and I admit my relationship with them has not always been typical. Let me make one thing clear I have never done anything to them that was against their will.

That just goes to show that when I got caught with files on my computer that shouldn't have been there. My daughters never said a word about our relationship. As far as I know, they always liked it. That has always been my first priority, making my children happy in whatever way possible.

When I was caught with those files on my computer and I think everyone reading this knows what kind of files I mean, I went into therapy almost immediately. Something that was also beneficial during my case in court and my conviction. I don't find my conviction and punishment that interesting. I was wrong and had to pay for it. What I do find important is that I had a team of excellent therapists. Who did not emphasize that I had done something wrong but who gave me back the feeling of self-acceptance.
My wife now ex-wife unfortunately saw it very differently, she is convinced that I am a dangerous pedosexual and wants nothing more to do with me. Also, when it all came out, she forbade the children to contact me. I miss them very much and I hope that I can see them again in the future.

But in no way do I plan to change myself. I am a pedophile and I am proud of myself for admitting it and living with it.

Thank you all for reading this, i am always open for questions or a friendly chat.
Peter.

Hello, welcome. Compared to the Netherlands in the 1970s, which was producing films and then closed down in the early 1980s, what can we say about the Netherlands today? What are your guidelines on this subject and what do Dutch families think about such matters, including, of course, us map?

Well yes when i was born MAP's were more accepted than now. My mother used to say that it didn't bother her for as long they did nothing against her kids their will. Now a days the Netherlands isn't so map friendly either. Most people don't see the difference between a sex-offender and a MAP. But lucky for me there are still a view who do. Otherwise i wouldn't have received the therapy i so desperately needed eight years ago.

None of my friends know i am a MAP. The friends i have also have children in my AoA. But i can handle that pretty well now a days. I don't think i would tell them anytime soon. Afraid of loosing their friendship. So yeah the Netherlands isn't so map friendly anymore as they used to be.