I'm a single man in my 40s. Never married, never had kids. I don't know if its a subconscious choice out of fear because of my attraction to little girls. But always felt like a "lone wolf" and i enjoy being alone, i never feel lonely though. I have friends of course, but they have kids and i don't see them to often other than the occasional guys weekend trips.
I'm very attracted to little girls, lets say, 8-14 broadly, but 9-11-12 more specifically. There is something about the time when girls are just at the cusp of puberty, starting to bud just a little.
My attraction to young girls started in my teens, i noticed i was attracted to smaller, slim more immature looking girls than the average 13-14 year olds in my school. The ones that was late bloomers and was almost flat and was only grown into he first stages of puberty like tiny budding breasts and still had that childish face.
When i was 15 i had [a non-sexual experience] with my 9 year old cousin. She had a crush on me and i could tell. She was seeking my attention all the time we where visiting. She always wanted to play physically like tickling matches and me to pick her up and toss her around. She also always sat in my lap. Not to make this an erotic story since it's against the rules. So lets just say she enjoyed playing "horse riding" straddling one of my legs. And it was one of the most erotic things i have ever experienced feeling her heat on my bare thigh, her whimpers and breath in my ear while "riding the horse" and hugging me.
Anyway, that's probably when i started to realize my attraction for real. There was a time when i was scared and not knowing myself, thinking i was a monster and scared of what i might do. But now that I'm older i have accepted fully what i am, and i know for a fact i would never do anything with a young girl. The way that i see it is like, straight or gay people don't run around raping people, why would pedo/hebephiles? I can enjoy the view and i'm satisfied with that.
I wouldn't hurt as much as a hair on a little girl. They are precious angels and princesses that i would die to protect. Absolutely adorable little beings that should be treated with respect and love.
I might be in the minority of people with my attraction, but my fantasies about little girls are almost never about having sex with them. But more of having a mentor role and teach them about the pleasure they can have with their bodies. And i fantasies about them masturbating. Girl masturbation is stigmatized in these ages while everyone just shrugs their shoulder about boys jacking off all the time. So it's like it's the most forbidden and secretive thing in the world to get to witness girls exploring and experiencing their first self loving.
Thank you and it feels good being here among non judgemental friends
