Call for Guest Blogs - Share your voice

[Julia]

I'm pretty sure Justincredible is still around. I think I recall someone, maybe them, maybe someone else, saying they though you might have ghosted them for coming across as transphobic.

No, that was someone named Hockeystick or something who, upon seeing the word 'transgender,' immediately felt compelled to assert that trans people don't exist. This stance is transphobic because it invalidates the lived experiences and identities of transgender individuals. Such denial contributes to a culture of discrimination and marginalisation, leading to severe consequences, including exacerbated mental health issues—challenges that many trans people face due to social rejection—as well as increased violence, harassment, and social isolation from family and community. Additionally, it creates barriers to accessing necessary healthcare and can result in economic disadvantages through discrimination in employment and housing.

Given that this person felt the need to express their transphobic views at the mere mention of the word, it indicates a strong and fixed belief in that perspective. Therefore, I saw no point in engaging further and prefer not to associate with individuals who hold such harmful views. I wished them good luck and blocked them on Instagram. Subsequently, they overcompensated for their emotional distress by making a post portraying themselves as the 'good guy' who was wronged, seeking validation from others

Justincredible is cool. He wouldn't say or do anything like that.

Sounds like it'll be interesting. I've been thinking of writing some fiction too, though I'd like to have the freedom to write erotic elements, so I probably wouldn't post it here.

I'd love to read what you'd come up with. I have only written one erltic scene myself. It's kinda difficult for me being asexual I've written dome great coming out scenes, though. Also, in the
beginning of the story, the older main character takes the role of a caregiver to the girl who is eight at the time. The girl ran away from her abusive home and lived on the streets for a while until the other main character adopts her. The relationship evolves into a romantic one two years later while they're on quest. But even before that, there are many cute and wholesome moments between the two. Obviously, the older one is loosely based on me lol.

Do you have any plot ideas for your story?

[PorcelainLark]

No, that was someone named Hockeystick or something who, upon seeing the word 'transgender,' immediately felt compelled to assert that trans people don't exist. This stance is transphobic because it invalidates the lived experiences and identities of transgender individuals. Such denial contributes to a culture of discrimination and marginalisation, leading to severe consequences, including exacerbated mental health issues—challenges that many trans people face due to social rejection—as well as increased violence, harassment, and social isolation from family and community. Additionally, it creates barriers to accessing necessary healthcare and can result in economic disadvantages through discrimination in employment and housing.

Given that this person felt the need to express their transphobic views at the mere mention of the word, it indicates a strong and fixed belief in that perspective. Therefore, I saw no point in engaging further and prefer not to associate with individuals who hold such harmful views. I wished them good luck and blocked them on Instagram. Subsequently, they overcompensated for their emotional distress by making a post portraying themselves as the 'good guy' who was wronged, seeking validation from others

Justincredible is cool. He wouldn't say or do anything like that.

Fair enough. I couldn't recall the specifics of what they said (or who said it), other than something that it sounded "TERFy." In spite of how they portrayed what happened, it still seemed inappropriate. Though, I thought it might have been more out of naivete; not that I think there would be anything wrong in avoiding people that are naively insensitive. I should probably stop writing now, before I hit all of the condescending boomer cliches...

I'd love to read what you'd come up with.

Thank you.

I have only written one erltic scene myself. It's kinda difficult for me being asexual

I had a friend who was an asexual, he was fascinated by the history of pornography.

I've written dome great coming out scenes, though. Also, in the beginning of the story, the older main character takes the role of a caregiver to the girl who is eight at the time. The girl ran away from her abusive home and lived on the streets for a while until the other main character adopts her. The relationship evolves into a romantic one two years later while they're on quest. But even before that, there are many cute and wholesome moments between the two. Obviously, the older one is loosely based on me lol.

One of my ideas was a bit like that. A bachelor becomes the guardian of the daughter of an unfit mother, in a village (it was an idea for a fanfiction, to be honest).

Do you have any plot ideas for your story?

I had this idea for a story about a MAP colony, in what I suppose people call the slipstream genre. One thing I'm really interested in, is trying to set pedophilia apart from hebephilia; an 8 year old is very different from a 12 year old. The other ideas are mostly to do with my personal tastes outside of being a MAP.

[Julia]

Awesome! You can upload the messages you received to imgbb and share the links here; that is no problem.

However, I ask you to please submit any actual essays to b.ribbon@map-union.org, preferably in .odt format.

I look forward to seeing what you've prepared.

It's done! Here is the link to all the messages: https://ibb.co/album/nRch4P
As you will see, some of the messages, while very supportive in a way, do still carry implications based on misunderstanding, so I'm not sure if they'd be good to include.
I'll send the essay right now. Thank you for your patience!

[Julia]

Fair enough. I couldn't recall the specifics of what they said (or who said it), other than something that it sounded "TERFy." In spite of how they portrayed what happened, it still seemed inappropriate. Though, I thought it might have been more out of naivete; not that I think there would be anything wrong in avoiding people that are naively insensitive. I should probably stop writing now, before I hit all of the condescending boomer cliches...

It’s important to recognise the distinction between ignorance that arises from a lack of knowledge and wilful ignorance. While it’s understandable for people to be unaware of certain topics due to limited exposure or education, when someone has been informed about an issue—especially regarding marginalised and oppressed identities—and chooses to disregard that information, it is wilful ignorance. In such cases, this refusal to engage with or accept knowledge leads to harmful attitudes and behaviours, which can manifest as bigotry. Bigotry frequently stems from a refusal to understand or empathise with the experiences of others, perpetuating discrimination and social injustice. Open dialogue and fostering understanding are crucial in combating both ignorance and bigotry.

This phenomenon affects MAPs in the same way since we are also a marginalised community. The refusal to understand or empathise with our experiences can perpetuate stigma and discrimination, further isolating us and hindering our pursuit of acceptance and support.

I had a friend who was an asexual, he was fascinated by the history of pornography.

Unfortunately, most people seem to misunderstand what asexuality actually means. All it means is that someone does not experience attraction towards others based on sex. While many asexuals are also sex repulsed, attitudes towards sex can vary greatly among asexuals. For instance, despite my lack of sexual attraction and libido, I am still open to sex for the sake of pleasing someone I like. While sex itself gives me hardly any enjoyment, the pleasing does.

One of my ideas was a bit like that. A bachelor becomes the guardian of the daughter of an unfit mother, in a village (it was an idea for a fanfiction, to be honest).

I'd love to hear more about that! Did you manage to work on that idea? Maybe we'd better continue to discuss this over email. I'll hit you up shortly.

I had this idea for a story about a MAP colony, in what I suppose people call the slipstream genre. One thing I'm really interested in, is trying to set pedophilia apart from hebephilia; an 8 year old is very different from a 12 year old. The other ideas are mostly to do with my personal tastes outside of being a MAP.

That sounds like a great idea! I also think it's important to distinguish between pedophilia and hebephila. Clear distinctions can help in addressing misconceptions and stigma surrounding these terms. By educating the public about the differences, researchers and advocates can promote a more nuanced understanding of these attractions, which can lead to more informed discussions.

[PorcelainLark]

It’s important to recognise the distinction between ignorance that arises from a lack of knowledge and wilful ignorance. While it’s understandable for people to be unaware of certain topics due to limited exposure or education, when someone has been informed about an issue—especially regarding marginalised and oppressed identities—and chooses to disregard that information, it is wilful ignorance. In such cases, this refusal to engage with or accept knowledge leads to harmful attitudes and behaviours, which can manifest as bigotry. Bigotry frequently stems from a refusal to understand or empathise with the experiences of others, perpetuating discrimination and social injustice. Open dialogue and fostering understanding are crucial in combating both ignorance and bigotry.

This phenomenon affects MAPs in the same way since we are also a marginalised community. The refusal to understand or empathise with our experiences can perpetuate stigma and discrimination, further isolating us and hindering our pursuit of acceptance and support.

Definitely agree naivete and wilful ignorance are two different things. I'd almost go so far as saying wilful ignorance is the main problem today; for example, we could be well-informed about issues like climate change, yet a lot of people become climate change deniers.

Unfortunately, most people seem to misunderstand what asexuality actually means. All it means is that someone does not experience attraction towards others based on sex. While many asexuals are also sex repulsed, attitudes towards sex can vary greatly among asexuals. For instance, despite my lack of sexual attraction and libido, I am still open to sex for the sake of pleasing someone I like. While sex itself gives me hardly any enjoyment, the pleasing does.

I think that's probably because I have multiple layers of anxiety about sex in relation to others. I generally avoid talking about it because I have this default attitude that it makes others uncomfortable. I'm pretty neurotic about not crossing sexual boundaries. Like, even if a woman I'm attracted to initiated a conversation about sex, I tend to feel like there's a danger of being sleazy if the conversation was turning me on, and I end up changing the subject if I'm enjoying it a bit too much. In other contexts it just feels like I'm making things awkward if I continue a conversation about sex, so I usually change the subject.

I'd love to hear more about that! Did you manage to work on that idea? Maybe we'd better continue to discuss this over email. I'll hit you up shortly.

Didn't get very far, just some loose ideas. Yeah, I don't mind going into more detail in an email, I'd rather not say which franchise it was based on, here.

That sounds like a great idea! I also think it's important to distinguish between pedophilia and hebephila. Clear distinctions can help in addressing misconceptions and stigma surrounding these terms. By educating the public about the differences, researchers and advocates can promote a more nuanced understanding of these attractions, which can lead to more informed discussions.

Thanks, it kind of started out as an idea for a utopia, but I thought a realistic story might be more interesting. Again, only some loose ideas so far.

[Julia]

Definitely agree naivete and wilful ignorance are two different things. I'd almost go so far as saying wilful ignorance is the main problem today; for example, we could be well-informed about issues like climate change, yet a lot of people become climate change deniers.

wilful ignorance is a profound issue; it is the choice to remain blind to the truth, often out of fear or comfort. When it comes to issues like climate change, we must ask ourselves: why do we deny what is evident? Is it not a reflection of our conditioning, our attachment to certain beliefs and lifestyles? True understanding comes from observing without prejudice, from questioning our assumptions and the narratives we have accepted.

I think that's probably because I have multiple layers of anxiety about sex in relation to others. I generally avoid talking about it because I have this default attitude that it makes others uncomfortable. I'm pretty neurotic about not crossing sexual boundaries. Like, even if a woman I'm attracted to initiated a conversation about sex, I tend to feel like there's a danger of being sleazy if the conversation was turning me on, and I end up changing the subject if I'm enjoying it a bit too much. In other contexts it just feels like I'm making things awkward if I continue a conversation about sex, so I usually change the subject.

Dear friend, it is entirely natural to feel anxiety when navigating the complexities of intimacy and conversation about sex. We are all shaped by our experiences and the societal norms that surround us. It is commendable that you are mindful of the feelings of others and strive to respect boundaries; this reflects a deep sense of empathy.

Discomfort often arises from our own perceptions and fears. Engaging in open dialogue about such topics can foster understanding and connection, both with ourselves and with others. It is important to recognise that vulnerability is a part of the human experience, and it is through this vulnerability that we can cultivate deeper relationships.

Do not be too harsh on yourself for feeling this way. Instead, embrace the opportunity to explore these feelings with patience and self-compassion. As you practice being more at ease with your own desires and boundaries, you may find that others respond with greater openness as well. In the end, it is the authenticity of our connections that truly matters.

Didn't get very far, just some loose ideas. Yeah, I don't mind going into more detail in an email, I'd rather not say which franchise it was based on, here.

I've sent you an email earlier. I hope it arrived well.

Thanks, it kind of started out as an idea for a utopia, but I thought a realistic story might be more interesting. Again, only some loose ideas so far.

All great stories begin with a few loose ideas. As a writer, I would love to see what you have if you're willing to share.

[PorcelainLark]

wilful ignorance is a profound issue; it is the choice to remain blind to the truth, often out of fear or comfort. When it comes to issues like climate change, we must ask ourselves: why do we deny what is evident?

I think there's an element of sadism and recalcitrance involved. People enjoy upsetting environmentalists; they often buy gas-guzzling vehicles to spite people.

Dear friend, it is entirely natural to feel anxiety when navigating the complexities of intimacy and conversation about sex. We are all shaped by our experiences and the societal norms that surround us. It is commendable that you are mindful of the feelings of others and strive to respect boundaries; this reflects a deep sense of empathy.

Discomfort often arises from our own perceptions and fears. Engaging in open dialogue about such topics can foster understanding and connection, both with ourselves and with others. It is important to recognise that vulnerability is a part of the human experience, and it is through this vulnerability that we can cultivate deeper relationships.

Do not be too harsh on yourself for feeling this way. Instead, embrace the opportunity to explore these feelings with patience and self-compassion. As you practice being more at ease with your own desires and boundaries, you may find that others respond with greater openness as well. In the end, it is the authenticity of our connections that truly matters.

I suppose I worry about getting covert sexual gratification, even from just acknowledging sexual boundaries. Like a bisexual with a heterosexual friend of the same sex; feeling dirty for even talking about it/bringing it up. It's a fine line between vulnerability and exhibitionism, for example.

I've sent you an email earlier. I hope it arrived well.
All great stories begin with a few loose ideas. As a writer, I would love to see what you have if you're willing to share.

I responded, I look forward to discussing writing with you!