Sensitive People at Work

[Brain O'Conner]

Honestly, I don't really know what to think.
My point of view is that of someone who is not a MAP, and who might have a somewhat negative reaction to seeing a video like that (But even if the people involved had been adults, I think I have a personal aversion to that kind of clothing and way of presenting oneself). Still, I would never dream of “bringing up my concerns” to others—both because I know how word of mouth works (We’re social animals; if we’re the first to speak, we should assume others will too), and also because it’s obvious that if we ourselves have a concern, reporting it to others could cause problems—potentially very serious ones.

But at the same time, I then think about the person who made it into an actual problem—the one who went to the “authorities”, effectively turning it into an issue.

I'm really sorry that you have to constantly be on alert, that people aren't capable of just shrugging things off, of having a bit of healthy indifference and apathy. (Yeah, I know those are considered negative traits. But in my opinion, the world could use a bit of apathy. There are too many self-appointed do-gooders around.)

So, what you're saying is that you as a MAP don't like women or girls wearing clothing like that? You more of a modest? Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I disagree. I don't have a problem of them wearing clothing like that. Now, I know as a man that may sound different, but still. Like I said before with another member, it doesn't matter if someone has sexual feelings and has "lustful" thoughts of the girls/women, there's nothing wrong either way, but to each their own, I guess. I was just curious as of why you feel that way. You feel like it's objectifying or some vague thing like that or what?

[Not Forever]

So, what you're saying is that you as a MAP don't like women or girls wearing clothing like that? You more of a modest? Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I disagree. I don't have a problem of them wearing clothing like that. Now, I know as a man that may sound different, but still. Like I said before with another member, it doesn't matter if someone has sexual feelings and has "lustful" thoughts of the girls/women, there's nothing wrong either way, but to each their own, I guess. I was just curious as of why you feel that way. You feel like it's objectifying or some vague thing like that or what?

I'm not a MAP, or at least I don't consider myself one, but at the same time, what bothers me doesn't come from not being a MAP—it's more about personal taste. I just don't like that kind of aesthetic or environment. I've always found it... meh. But again, it's just personal preference. Whether it's the clothing or the high heels, it kind of represents everything I don't like.

It's not really about modesty; it's just something that's always bothered me. Paradoxically, I'd actually prefer if they didn’t wear any shoes at all rather than wear heels.

But as was implied, the fact that it bothers me is kind of irrelevant. I was just using it to point out that I would probably feel the same discomfort as that other person in a situation like that—but just because someone feels discomfort doesn’t mean they should go around talking about it and turning it into a public issue.

As for the topic of objectification, I'm not really a fan of that kind of interpretation. Maybe it's something that comes from how I grew up—ever since I was a kid, I never liked that fishnet stockings kind of aesthetic, or that kind of “erotic” look. Or beachwear, for that matter. For some reason, it's just really not to my taste. I’d find someone more “attractive” if they were wearing a biker outfit. (Not joking—I think I have a fetish for uniforms. Just… not nurse uniforms, for some strange reason.)

To go into more detail, to try to explain what I feel when I see something like that... I don't know, it just feels dirty to me. A suffocating sensation, like sweat, like something fake—maybe I subconsciously associate it with a negative stereotype of prostitution. With stuffy, humid rooms that smell like cigarettes. A kind of damp heat that makes you uncomfortable, like bad breath.

Um, I get that this might not really mean anything, but I'm trying to explain a feeling, so I guess it's normal for it to be this vague or confused. Just to be clear, though—this isn't a judgment or anything like that. It's more about the whole vibe of that environment, that kind of exposure, the clothing, and so on...

[Brain O'Conner]

So, what you're saying is that you as a MAP don't like women or girls wearing clothing like that? You more of a modest? Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I disagree. I don't have a problem of them wearing clothing like that. Now, I know as a man that may sound different, but still. Like I said before with another member, it doesn't matter if someone has sexual feelings and has "lustful" thoughts of the girls/women, there's nothing wrong either way, but to each their own, I guess. I was just curious as of why you feel that way. You feel like it's objectifying or some vague thing like that or what?

I'm not a MAP, or at least I don't consider myself one, but at the same time, what bothers me doesn't come from not being a MAP—it's more about personal taste. I just don't like that kind of aesthetic or environment. I've always found it... meh. But again, it's just personal preference. Whether it's the clothing or the high heels, it kind of represents everything I don't like.

It's not really about modesty; it's just something that's always bothered me. Paradoxically, I'd actually prefer if they didn’t wear any shoes at all rather than wear heels.

But as was implied, the fact that it bothers me is kind of irrelevant. I was just using it to point out that I would probably feel the same discomfort as that other person in a situation like that—but just because someone feels discomfort doesn’t mean they should go around talking about it and turning it into a public issue.

As for the topic of objectification, I'm not really a fan of that kind of interpretation. Maybe it's something that comes from how I grew up—ever since I was a kid, I never liked that fishnet stockings kind of aesthetic, or that kind of “erotic” look. Or beachwear, for that matter. For some reason, it's just really not to my taste. I’d find someone more “attractive” if they were wearing a biker outfit. (Not joking—I think I have a fetish for uniforms. Just… not nurse uniforms, for some strange reason.)

To go into more detail, to try to explain what I feel when I see something like that... I don't know, it just feels dirty to me. A suffocating sensation, like sweat, like something fake—maybe I subconsciously associate it with a negative stereotype of prostitution. With stuffy, humid rooms that smell like cigarettes. A kind of damp heat that makes you uncomfortable, like bad breath.

Um, I get that this might not really mean anything, but I'm trying to explain a feeling, so I guess it's normal for it to be this vague or confused. Just to be clear, though—this isn't a judgment or anything like that. It's more about the whole vibe of that environment, that kind of exposure, the clothing, and so on...

I think I can understand where you're coming from. It seems from a young age, you seem to have a negative association with such clothing maybe due to negatives things happening to you or someone else sexually or with that clothing, or just simply don't like the sex work industry such as prostitution due to the objectifying and therefore un-dignifying nature of such work selling your body. The way you described such clothing as dirty as sweat or someone fake seems to make more sense once you associate it with people selling their body that may be viewed as objectifying and thus, loss of self-dignity. It feels fake to you because you may see it as passive and showing off. Anyways, I could be wrong though. That is what get out of the whole thing of what you said. Also, I don't find it strange that you have an erotic association with biker uniforms and nurse outfits. I can understand that because not only a lot of people have such erotic taste in clothing, a lot of other people of erotic taste in the librarian outfit style or the modest traditional style because of their associations, especially the modest one being associated with traditional family roles where the man is the head of the household and the woman is the stay at home mom being taken care of, dependent on the husband. Anyways, since you're not a MAP and at least don't consider yourself one, what do you consider yourself as? Just curious.

[Not Forever]

I think I can understand where you're coming from. It seems from a young age, you seem to have a negative association with such clothing maybe due to negatives things happening to you or someone else sexually or with that clothing, or just simply don't like the sex work industry such as prostitution due to the objectifying and therefore un-dignifying nature of such work selling your body. The way you described such clothing as dirty as sweat or someone fake seems to make more sense once you associate it with people selling their body that may be viewed as objectifying and thus, loss of self-dignity. It feels fake to you because you may see it as passive and showing off. Anyways, I could be wrong though. That is what get out of the whole thing of what you said. Also, I don't find it strange that you have an erotic association with biker uniforms and nurse outfits. I can understand that because not only a lot of people have such erotic taste in clothing, a lot of other people of erotic taste in the librarian outfit style or the modest traditional style because of their associations, especially the modest one being associated with traditional family roles where the man is the head of the household and the woman is the stay at home mom being taken care of, dependent on the husband. Anyways, since you're not a MAP and at least don't consider yourself one, what do you consider yourself as? Just curious.

I honestly don't know if it's really connected to a negative view of prostitution. I mention "stereotype" because I'm somewhat familiar with the BDSM scene, which might have similar dynamics, but they don't bother me. (Though strangely, even there, all the "erotic clothing" typical of the BDSM world still bothers me.)

In itself, as a stance, for example, I have no issues with the legalization of prostitution or things related to OnlyFans — I don't have a negative image of it when talking about it.

Anyway, I don't consider myself a MAP because I don't feel an interest in real people; what interests me is the imagery found in drawings and literature. I read fairy tales, and I might find the protagonist erotically interesting, but if I associate that with the image of a real flesh-and-blood person, the fantasy disappears. I tend to “fall in love” more with a context or an imagined world.

And by lack of interest in real people, I mean regardless of age — even the idea of an actual sexual relationship doesn't appeal to me.